Lifeline To My Heart

Chapter-19

REHAN’S POV

“I need answers.” Vishal smirked and it had taken all in me to stop myself from punching that smirk away from his face.

“Get out of my office. Now.” I yelled, pressing my fingers over my temple.

“I will but first tell me the reason behind your and Mayra's little X rated scene.” He blurted out and I looked up at him in disbelief.

Seriously. X rated?

“Yup X rated. You two were lost in each other's arm. Disgusting.  ” He said dramatically and instantly all the moments spent with her flashed in the back of my head and a low smile crossed my face.

I’ve never felt so ecstatic in my whole life but the way she had her arms wrapped around me was something enough for me to forget everything but her.

I closed my eyes and leaned more into my leather chair.

Her angelic, breathtakingly beautiful smiling face appeared again in my mind around forty-sixth time ever since I entered into my office. She is driving me insane. All I can see is her face, all I can hear is the melodic sound of her laughter, all I can smell is her soft lavender smell.

Fuck.

What’s happening with me?

I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. Control Rehan. Stop thinking all this. This isn’t right. You will end up hurting her and don't forget that you've already done enough.

I ran fingers through my hair in frustration. She was supposed to hate me and I was supposed to hate her. End of the story but everything is happening otherwise. She doesn't hates me at all.

And what about you Rehan? Don’t you hate her? Suddenly my mind struck on a strange question and I couldn’t help but chuckled. Really? Hate her? How can I hate her when she's all I want?  Her smile, her innocent soul, her care, her affection, her healing words, her heart.  Damn. She is something else, something similar to paradise.  She can do anything; if she can make me fall asleep peacefully then definitely she can do anything.

She's ecstasy. My ecstasy. Whenever I am with her, all I want is to forget everything and feel every single moment with her.

What the hell is she doing with me? Why it hurts to watch her in tears? Why it feels like my heart's shattering watching her in pain? Why the f**k even I am thinking all these s**t? I groaned and parted my eyes open, spotting that Vishal was staring right back at me.

“Told ya.” He said confidently and threw water bottle to me. I grabbed the bottle and poured it all over my face.

“That one day you will thank me for arranging your marriage with Mayra.” He added with a wink.

I masked a blank face.

Why in a hell she agreed to marry a pathetic person like me? There’s something not making sense at all. I don’t know why but it feels like she has her reasons for marrying me. But no, it couldn’t happen. She's not selfish.

“Get the hell out of here.” I yelled and this time without saying anything he walked out not to mention with one of his irritating smirk.

I sighed and rubbed my face with my palms in frustration. What am I supposed to do now?  Every hour I plan that I will control myself in front of her but whenever she comes in my sight, I start to lose all my control. Like she has some spell bound over my senses.  I still can’t believe that I, Rehan Malhotra has asked her for a date...well it is another thing that I haven’t asked her instead I had just told her that we are having a date but still how this thought had even crossed my mind?

“Emotions. You have to let them go with the flow.” Her words of yesterday crossed my mind and I groaned once again.

Why her words have such a huge effect on me? Why I just couldn’t forget them? Because deep inside you also agree with her words. My inner voice mocked me.

Great. Just great. I had done everything. Every f*****g possible thing to control my anger but that woman can melt my rising anger so easily that I myself forget that once I was angry.

“Sir, all the clients are waiting for you.” Suddenly Tara’s voice reached my ear.

“Tell them to f**k off.” I snapped and clenched my fists.

“Sir? Do you need any help?” She muttered whilst passing a seductive smile. I looked at her and as soon as her words registered in my mind, Mayra’s face flashed inside my brain.

“Cancel all the meetings and better you should all go back to your home. My wife must be waiting for me.” I said with a smirk and she rolled her eyes whilst closing the door and rushing away.

My wife. Something warmth felt inside my heart and once again I planned to drown into my thoughts about her.

Wait.

That w***e Tara. Why had I send her away? I was frustrated. I needed distraction then why? Don’t you already know the answer Rehan? I remembered how few weeks ago, I was with Tara when Mayra had witnessed all that damn s**t.  Her broken look on face was enough for me to know that I’ve done wrong.  She had suffered my every thought tortures but never had I found her that much broken.  But why would it bother her if I am with Tara or anyone else when she didn’t feel anything for me. And why would she? What I had given her instead of pain?

She was like a shelter for a vagabond. Comforting every inch of my soul but yet I know she was forbidden for me. She.... I just don’t want her to share any emotion, any feeling towards me. I don’t deserve her. I couldn’t have her. My past will always never let me to do so. Never.

I gulped down my saliva and even in air conditioner also sweat beads formed over my forehead as soon as those haunting memories which I had hurried inside me starts awakening. My breath becomes unevenly heavy and with trembling fingers I tried searching for anything which I can hold tightly. No. Not again. I couldn’t have panic attacks right now. I don’t even have my drugs this time. I shut my eyes tightly and started thinking about anything that can distract me from this horrible situation. But only one name popped.

Mayra.

Without thinking twice, I grabbed my iPhone and tapped on her contact number.

“Hello.” My body started getting relaxed and all I want this time is to be in her healing arms.

I tried to say something, but nothing came out.

“Rehan. Are you okay?” She questioned in her sweet caring voice.

Slowly I shook my head but then realized that she couldn’t see me.

“What do you think?” I asked her but it only came out as a low whisper.

I unclenched my fists and pressed my eyes shut. She said nothing but even a silence with her seems to be more comfortable than being alone where only my past memories hurt me in every way.

“No. You are not okay.” She said breaking the comfortable silence and I chuckled dryly.

Tell me something Mayra what you don’t know.

“You said that I should try to say no to drugs and alcohol but then how pain will go away?” Automatically my inner thoughts get molded into words and I felt myself going out of breath. I didn’t wanted to sound weak. I don’t like showing my miserable state to anyone. I don’t want pity.

“Then let me take your pain away.” She whispered hesitantly.

And here I was thinking that she will pity me. How can I forget that Mayra is not like others? She is different. Beautifully different. My heart fills up with content and without saying anything next I ended up the call.

I don’t want to accept but deep inside I know that somehow she is already taking my pain away. I feel different with her. She was healing my soul with her care. I want to forget about everything related to my tormented life whenever she was near me. Her touch, her words, her smile...everything about her heals me. Everything.

I smiled a little.  I was smiling. Genuine smile.  Only because of her.

Once again the same question. What are you doing to me, Mayra?

You are making me addicted to you. Like any other drug, I want to relay on her. She’s magnet pulling me towards her every single second and I just want to go closer to her. I want to feel the deepness of her soul which is way more pure then my ugly reality. I am getting addicted to her. After all we only get addicted to those things which ease our pain away.

I know I should stop myself from getting closer to her but maybe this time I want to let my emotions go with her. I need her. Call me selfish but this time I will choose to become selfish.

She is mine. Only mine.

I will not be able to watch her with anyone else.  Even thinking about being her with someone else, tempted me to destroy everything. She was with that bastard Max. Only I know that how much I had hated that fact but still somehow she was able to melt my anger.

I don’t care about anything now. I need her and she is mine is all what I know.

Date.

Definitely today we are having a date. I smirked and called my manager to arrange everything.

As I reached in front of my pent house for the first time I’ve realized that how much she tempts me to come back to home. I never wanted to enter inside eagerly but since the day she was here, everything has changed. I quickly made my way inside our room and to my surprise I found her sitting on the bed in Indian style, lost in her own thought. She pulled comforter over her and after yawning she put her spectacles over her eyes.

So she was sleeping.

I leaned on the door and crossed my arms. This is one hell of a cute sight I’ve ever seen.

“Were you sleeping?” I asked with a smirk and her eyes instantly snapped in my direction. She startled a little but soon composed herself and bite her lips.

Crap. Why she has to be so f*****g cute and sexy at the same time?

Her thick eyelashes lowers a little and she slowly moved my eyes towards the clock and soon her jaw dropped in shock. She gulped audibly and looked up at me with fear.

“Come. Let’s go.” I said and take off my blazer.

Soon that blazer landed on couch and I loosen my tie.

“B-but... Don’t get angry. Just give me ten minutes I will be ready. I don’t know how I overslept.” She started blabbering. Her each and every word sounded damn freaking cute.

“I am not asking for your opinion.” I said and her eyes darted to my face.

She smiled a little and here my world stumbles just watching her one smile. She walked to me with slow, clumsy steps and then only I let my eyes to find that what she’s wearing. She was in pink pajama and yellow full sleeve top. Her eyes lighten up with a spark from inside her spectacles. She couldn’t get cuter now.

“Are you planning to go on a date in this business attire?” She asked while pointing her index finger towards my clothes. That small playfulness in her voice didn’t get unnoticed by me. I said nothing to her and she just took a quick look of my face before grabbing my fingers and interlocking them with her. Her touch sends a strange spark.

So this is how beautiful it feels to be with her. Hope she will like everything tonight.