Dominion

Deceitful Sight

---***Rosé's POV:

I wanted to feel numb with each day that passes. It feels like I was having a withdrawal syndrome from addiction as depression slowly consumes me. It pains me so much. I tried to cover my grief by acting like nothing had happened but it was even more difficult.

My smiles would always look fake. I always end up staring at nothing with tears suddenly streaming down my cheeks. I always feel lethargic even if I had rested enough, even if I've rested too much, I would still feel like all the energy has been drained from my body.

But denying the truth that I'm suffering would haunt me because my real feelings would just explode out of me at the end of the day.

It was not easy without him; not seeing his face, feeling his soft and gentle touches, hearing his raspy low voice which sounds like an echo from a dark abyss that holds mystery and beauty in it, felling his gentle kisses, his comforting hug and that rare, assuring, warm smile.

I would always long for him.

Thomas had suggested changing rooms because staying in the same room will remind me of him, all that was left in it were memories of him. Staying there would only hurt me more, especially at night. The bed, the bath, that window where he last stood by. My closet we're also full of his clothes which I still don't know where he got them from and I guess I'll never know it. 

But of course, out of habit, when I'm most exhausted, I would end up at that room and start crying once again.

On those nights that I'm inside that room, I pray. I pray with all my heart to have another chance with him again. But whenever I pray hard, my chest would hurt - the brand he left hurt.

My cries would eventually turn into wails. It's excruciating. But despite how it's physically hurting me, it could never equal to the amount of pain I feel every time my heart is breaking. His absence is causing me this unbearable pain that functioning for every day seems no longer possible for me. 

Does he feel this kind of pain too?

Is he suffering as I suffer without him?

I wandered off to our room once again and after a while, the pain took its toll on me and I practically screamed my lungs out, calling for him. The mark on my chest burns my skin but it wasn't just that, it felt like my heart is being crushed.

I was made his mate and when demons make someone their mate by branding, separation would be an excruciating experience as the brand connects their bodies and even souls together. The distance between is somehow like a breach on the promise and sealed by the brand and the pain in my body is the punishment. 

Gabriel stormed into the room followed by Thomas and a few of the household.

They found me on the bed; hands tightly clutching my chest, back hunched, knees bent caps touching the forehead in a fetal position.

I continued to scream his name, calling him out, asking him to come back to me.

Maybe he would hear me and come back.

Please let him hear me.

Jacob,

Please come back to me.

"Rosé!" Gabriel exclaimed, rushing towards me.

Nami's already preparing to inject me what the doctor has prescribed to calm me down whenever I had episodes like this.

Gabriel then grabs my arm to hold me down before Nami proceeds to inject and in a matter of seconds, my muscles relax. The dose isn't enough to knock me out so I stayed conscious. But no amount of sedation can make me feel numb. 

I'm still in so much pain.

"How long will you have to be like this?" He asked muttering as he stroke my cheek and brush the hair from my face.

As long as he's not here. I answered in my thoughts.

When my back had relaxed and my hands had been unclutched from my chest, they prepared to bring me to my new room. Gabriel grabbed my arm and wrap it around his shoulder, his hands then slip on my back and behind my legs then lifted me with such ease.

I could still move a little bit and both my arms spontaneously wrap around his neck and rest my head by his shoulder, on the crook of his neck.

"Thomas, please lock this room and hide the keys from her." He asked and the older man nodded in response to him.

"No..." I whimpered. My tears hadn't stop and I'm pretty sure his collar's stained by my tears. 

He then lifted me and started walking, taking me back to my new room.

"It would help you move on if you avoid the things that would remind you of him." He muttered.

"I don't wanna move on nor forget. I want him Gabriel, please look for him." I pleaded. I just wanna forget this pain but it'll be impossible for me to forget him.

He's all I wanted.

"I can't do that. I'm still looking for the boy. I need to find him so I can save you."

Of course, they still don't know that it's Jacob they're looking for. And Gabriel, he thinks that if we don't find the boy, if I fail the mission, I'll be dragged to hell.

"You won't find him..." I uttered.

"Your negativity won't help you, Rosé." He retorted. He then put me carefully on the bed. I should be letting go of him wasn't able to. I craved for Jacob's warmth and having someone embrace me is somehow easing me of the pain, even if it's a little bit.

We sat on the bed embracing each other. I continued to cry while he gently stroke my hair and caress my back.

Jacob's body is much bigger than Gabriel's, but he is still tender as a man's body should be. The scent is also different. He smelled like a fresh cut grass with a hint of rosewood while Jacob has a masculine, musky scent.

"Jacob..." I whimpered once again.

"It's Gabe... or Gabriel... whichever you prefer." He muttered.

My chest then started to feel that burning sensation again and upon feeling so, I tightened my embrace on hopes for comfort and could somehow ease it while I continued to sob.

"How much tears could you cry just for him? You love him that much when you haven't even learned his real name... Though I know, he'll never reveal that to you."

Of course. He won't.

Once we learned of a demon's name, who they truly are, we can command the demon in the name of the Father and his Son and cast them straight down hell.

No demon would reveal their name, what they hold dominion over.

I didn't even attempt to ask him that 'cause I know he won't answer.

I knew him as Jacob and I loved Jacob just as he loves Rosé.

I know he loves me even if he doesn't call me by my real name.

I shut my eyes and just cried on him then slowly, Jacob's image crept into my mind. I began to imagine that he's the one hugging me this moment, that he's the one comforting me right now.

"I love you," I muttered, sobbing.

At that moment, all I'm willing to hear was Jacob's last words before he disappeared.

"I love you too, Rosé..." he said with a low raspy voice which sounded unusual but I was willing to believe it.

Jacob...

The burning sensation then becomes stronger but his embrace over me is so comforting that it somehow defeats the pain.

Jacob...

I miss you so much.

Then, he pushes me gently and cups my cheeks, caressing gently then wipes my tears away. My eyes slowly flutter open. And then, I saw him...

Jacob...

Unable to control my joy at the sight of his handsome face, I embraced him immediately for a brief while before pulling from him again to look at him once more.

He's finally here.

I immediately kiss him despite my trembling lips, I kiss him eagerly and he responded with gentleness. He was unusually gentle even if he would always return my kiss the same way as I was kissing him but this time, he responded differently.

But even if he's with me this moment, the burning sensation over my chest even grew stronger. However, my desire for him is greater than the pain I'm feeling.

Then, all of a sudden, a loud thud dropped on the floor.  He pulled away so suddenly from kissing while I was still savoring the feeling.

I slowly flutter my eyes open and my heart stopped at the moment I saw who he truly is. The person I was seeing wasn't Jacob.

My eyes widened and I gasped, finding Gabriel in front of me. He's the one I've been kissing?

Gabe then turned his head over his shoulder to look at the source of that thud. I followed his gaze. 

Then, both my hands automatically covered my mouth as I gasped once again on the sight of the person I've been longing to see... breaking down kneeling on the floor by the foot of the bed, head bowed down and hands hang on his sides. Then, he sobs which had shattered my heart all over again.

Jacob...

"Please,  Rosé... Kill me now." Jacob sobs softly.