Dominion

What Once Was Mine

----** Jacob's POV:

I thought that if I drink her blood, it would make me stronger. I thought it would satisfy my thirst. I thought it would s moisten the dryness of my throat, but it didn't work.

Her blood gave me a few days of strength but after that, it totally stripped me of any strength I had in my body.

It only made me crave for more. I knew I wouldn't go that far and drink her dry, but if I feed on her again, if I see her again, it would just make us both suffer.

There were plenty of times that passed that my thirst had taken over my consciousness and I'm in dire need of her, but my old man would prevent me to go see her and no one will take me to her.

I became incredibly weak. 

Lucifer said that it's the emotions that make me weak and thirsty. That my body wanted to make up for what my heart has lost and I only need to feed so I could regain my strength.  But no matter how many men, women, and children they brought me. 

But not because of my hunger and weakness, I wanted to see her. I needed to see her. 

I eventually surrendered to my heart just so I can be with her again. No matter how frail I had become, I wanted to go back to her even if I wouldn't feed on her. Just seeing her face would be enough. 

But Lucifer says it's not the best time. 

He would send different women for me to feed on or as he hopes for, he wants me to find another companion.

None can replace Rosé. 

Her natural scent was sweet, aromatic nectar which becomes, even more, sweeter after my lips had touched her. Her soft, milky skin, her silky, smooth hair that flips with grace every time she brushes her hand over it. Her sweet, warm breaths that hover on my face, her bright, adorable smile to which her soft cheeks puff up every time she laughs, the melody of her laughter and the endearing way she says my name... and her red plump, luscious lips.

All of it... all of it were once mine.

But all of it was made up of lies.

However, none of them can replace her.

They always end up dead in my arms. But I would also end up grieving over them. I would always suffer from unbearable pain for killing them.

Because after I take my fangs off their necks, I would always see Rosé.

My Rosé... my beautiful rose... dead in my arms.

My eyes had been deceiving me every time I feed. It makes me see things I'm most terrified to see... It was so dreadful to see her like that.

To see her dead and what horrifies me is that I'm the one who took her life. So every time I feed, I would grieve. 

Is this my punishment?

Only now do I realize what really hell is like even if I'm beyond that world. Those souls that's being punished and continues to be punished for all eternity goes through what I'm going through.

This is what eternal damnation is.     

I am not in hell yet but I'm now living a hellish life without her. 

Tonight was the worst night I ever had. My throat burns no matter how much blood I drink. But what pains me a lot is that her voice inside my head echoes non stop.

"I love you, Jacob."

Her sweet voice... it suddenly becomes my nightmare because of how much it's making me suffer.

Why did she have to be an angel?

Why did she have to be my rival?

"Goddamn it. She really does have you on the palm of her hand, huh? Why have did you have to make her your weakness..." My old man muttered as he starts to incinerate the piled body on the bed.

"Take me to her... I need to see her." I begged, peeling my back that's leaning against the foot of the bed. I try to crawl over my old man's feet but I feel like there's no energy left in my body even after I've just fed.

Is this how it feels like to waste away?

The pain is too unbearable.

Is she feeling what I'm feeling right now?

Does she suffer the way I'm being slowly killed?

"The time to see her will come, but it isn't now." He stated as he dispersed the fire immediately leaving the ashes of the bodies he's burnt.

I stopped on his foot and begged, "Please... take me to her. I want to see her. I want to hold her." I cried.

"Do you know how incredibly pathetic you look right now?" He scoffs. 

There was a time that what he had just said would have pissed me off. But I just don't care right now. 

"You still wanna see her even if she did this to you?" He then asked, snarling softly. He then crouched down and touch my head.

"I don't care anymore... I need her." I responded.

"Only if you'll drink her dry this time." He muttered.

He doesn't know how it feels to have a mate away from him since he never felt the companionship of having one. Of course, he wouldn't know, he's f*****g Lucifer. He only wanted one thing in his whole existence. And that's to be beyond his creator. And getting all the souls that God had created, the creations He loved so much will make a statement. 

That Lucifer is more omnipotent than He is as His creations had turned to the dragon.

However, if I need him to help me, he needs to hear what he wants to hear.

"I'm f*****g parched dad. You know she's the only one who can suffice my thirst." I muttered in response.

"Tss... You need to be a better liar, son." He scoffed then he vanished instantly.

Shit.

As minutes passed, my chest tightens and every inch of me began to feel heavy. My sight's starting to blur but all this won't prevent me from going back.

" Rosé," I whispered. I crawled back to the bed and tried to stand. I muster all the energy left in my body and finally stand on two feet.

I breathe in deep and out to maintain my balance even if I knew my knees would give away anytime.

" Rosé," I whispered to myself once again and put my mind in concentration.

I need to be with her... but if I can't, it'll be better if I cease to exist.

At least when that happens, it wouldn't hurt anymore. I need to see her, even for the last time.

I closed my eyes and instantly saw her smiling face. How it's too f*****g bright for me but it somehow gives me energy.

"Rosé."

Suddenly, I smelled her sweet scent. 

Am I back?

My eyes flutter open slowly as I try everything I've got to stand on two feet, noticing a bed in front of me. My sight adjusted to the fluorescent light of a room which just made me so eager to see her.

I can finally smell her sweet scent... but there's another familiar scent in this room.

Gabriel?

After my eyes had adjusted, my gaze immediately landed on them... 

That moment, I wished I never opened my eyes... I wished I had listened to my old man.

I finally saw her.

But...

She's in the arms of another.

"I love you." She muttered, sobbing in Gabriel's arms.

I felt like I've been stabbed and burned at the same time after hearing her say those words... those words which are now not meant for me.

So it was all a lie...

All she did for me, all the words she said... all of it was a lie.

So she could get all that she wanted...

Her redemption.

"I love you, Rosé..." he replied.

I closed my eyes and swallowed the little amount of moist I have left inside my mouth. My tears started falling from my eyes again. I've been so used to crying for the past few weeks and I'm really getting tired of it...

I open my eyes once again, hoping that it's only my mind that's playing tricks on me... but it was real.

They then let go of each other's embrace. He cupped her cheeks and caresses it gently.

Like I used to do...

She then opens her eyes slowly even if tears continued to fall. She looked at him lovingly and cried even more, making him wipe her tears away.

She looked at him just like how she looked at me...

I wasn't ready for all of this, especially what she did next...

She then launched herself at him and kiss him. She kisses him so eagerly that it shattered my heart all over again.

Right then and there, it all shattered to pieces... whatever strength had left my body and just surrendered to the pain. 

I'm so tired...

I can't do this anymore...

I don't want this life anymore...

I closed my eyes again, giving up on this reality. My knees gave away and I flopped down kneeling on the ground and started sobbing.

"I learned that she has a weapon that could kill a demon. It's impossible, right? But unlike humans, if a demon dies, he would just disappear, he would cease to exist. No chance of going back to hell for you."

Even if she hasn't used it on me, she had killed me already...

But this pain won't stop until I cease to exist...

"Please, Rosé... Kill me now."