Arranged Imperfectly

So close yet so far

Be aware! Misunderstandings lead to silence and silence leads to distance.

***

I rubbed my eyes and checked the time 8 am? I scanned my eyes around the room but there was no sight of him.

Did he really leave without even a goodbye? without even a simple hello?

"All your fault, "I thought and it was true how much had I hurt him yet he only appeared in my life as my saviour. He's one of a gem and me? Will we even overcome our past problems?

I never thought that my marriage would be arranged. I thought I loved that guy my ex yet he broke me into million pieces. I am glad he's behind bars and that too thanks to Imad.

It's true never engage yourself into prohibited relationships it will only hurt you, stay away if he doesn't want any commitment.

I pulled out the duvet from my body and opened the curtains which were blocking the beautiful view of the bright sun shining from above, a sad smile crept up on my lips and I remembered some good old memories but a voice snapped me from my thoughts.

"This is not the time of daydreaming get ready and let's go downstairs," his voice was sharp without any hint of remorse but I guess I deserved it.

Wasn't he supposed to be in Dubai? Should I ask him?

I opened my bag but after that, I glanced towards him to see what he wore and a smile formed on my face and I removed a light blue long dress and rest of matching stuff all while he was just busy on laptop he wore blue so I chose to wear the same colour.

Let's see what he will do. Will, he even acknowledgedge?

I felt a sudden urge of having him near me, long talks, late-night drives. Ya Allah since when did I become romantic type?

I hurried towards the bathroom and within fifteen minutes I was out I dried my hair with a blow drier applied light make up I even chose to wear hijab just the way he loves and waited for him to finish his task.

I stole glances but he didn't even spare me a glance.

What should I do to make him speak to me?

"Imad!"I blurted his name for the second time and waited for a response.

"What?" he growled while staring at me blankly but I just shook my head.

"Nothing, "I answered nervously I played with the fingers which were on my lap and gripped my phone tightly. Memories flooded back in my mind and I moved a bit far from him.

It hurts, a lump formed in my throat I couldn't even utter another word uncertainty gripped within me.

"What's wrong?" he inquired as if he minded as if he hadn't growled at me a few minutes ago.

"Let's go everyone's waiting for breakfast," I whispered in low voice trying to change topic I knew his family members were waiting it was ritual maybe that's why he postponed his journey.

We just stood silently none of us uttered a single word, only our sounds of heavy breathing was heard.

I heard his footsteps approaching near and every step he took I walked back until I was caged between the bed and him, he gazed at me without any excitement without any love for me in his eyes.

"So today I have decided we will talk, I won't move until e have good discussion with inclusion, this cat and mouse game won't work out, we at married and we have to make this marriage work whether he likes it or not I will try my best today I won't let him leave the room," I thought and smile formed on my face but his next words vanished all smile from my face.

"Don't you ever hurt any of my family member got it? I still don't trust you and don't you ever play games with me behind my back or else you know the outcomes. I married you just to keep an eye on you keep that in your thick head," he said all that without realizing he was so close to me yet so far but he didn't even touch me it pains thinking how low he felt of me.

"Now let's go we don't want people to think otherwise," he said and walked away as if nothing happened. I just stood there gazing at his retreating figure, I wiped the tears with the back of my hand and stared at his back again as he was waited for me without soaring me second glance, but now I was stubborn also I didn't move an inch and stared at him with teary eyes.

"I will never hurt anyone, I have changed," I said in low voice.

But the question was did she really change ?do people change ?

"Yeah saying such things is very simple but to change is difficult," he said in a cold tone and I stiffened.

"Then leave me damn it let them think worst of me, inform them I ran away," I said as tears flew again, I didn't even care about my make up now.

"Stop making things difficult, let's go," he said without turning his face towards me, I could see him clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Please turn," I whispered and waited at least for him to feel something, to feel that someone waited for his one glance.

Is it really impossible to believe that I have changed for good? Why can't you see it? Why don't you believe me? I have changed a lot I have no intention of hurting any of your family members. I didn't come back to hurt anyone of you.

"Why do you hate me so much?"Another question ran in my mind which I didn't even have the answer, the one who had all answers disliked me, he didn't want to even glance at me n matter how much he saved me or protected me, being ignored by someone close, hurts alot

Never hate anyone, hate is a very strong word, you can dislike someone but try not to hate, learn to forgive it's not easy but to move on, we have to.