The Endless Echo: A Soul's Descent into insanity from mortality

I float in an abyss, an abyss that has been viewed as a gift from all different cultures. The irony of it all, suitably the thought of it all. I've lived countless lives and I haven't grasped the concept of it being such a gift. The gift of limited mortality or, in my end, endless immortality isn't worth what they preach. I don't understand how you've gotten into the same predicament as me. I've always assumed I was the only one... It all started when I was "blessed" with this experience. I was born into a middle-class nuclear home they had named me Joey; Joey Sandrez. I was apparently born off the coast of Puerto Rico and was kissed by John F Kennedy as he was president at the time and was the only president to visit us. They told me about growing up and after being kissed by a semi-old man, the family decided best to move to San Jose, California. Years had passed, and it was seemingly fun. I didn't know what power I had instore for me, and I was living the best of my life. By high school, my father had been promoted to Head Engineer of the (not so) nearby NASA Station. His motto was always: "Success Never Sets on the Sandrezs", which, until I learned about it in high school, was practically a copy of the British Empire's motto when they ruled all over the world in the 18th century. I met this girl. Her name was Rose, and she was, to say the least, different for a girl in the 80s at the time and that's what took me into liking her. She was white, and I was Puerto Rican and, in a highly racial time in the world, not just for African Americans but for us South Americans as well, racial profiling was a thing back then. One cold morning, I would recall the date if I could. I had finally approached Rose and the group of her friends and asked her courageously if she could be my study buddy for our upcoming spring exam. She had accepted my proposal and my happiness took me to the moon and back. She had told me that only during lunch and, best believe me, that there was some progress for me. Still being in the middle of the conversation, I asked her what was wrong with me being at her house instead of testing my luck. Her nearly perfectly sculpted smile went from a clean polished porcelain to an immediate straight-faced mouth. As I said this, her posse laughed and whispered behind her. She swung right towards her posse and loudly told them: "LEAVE NOW". The hallway had turned quiet, and her friends had then immediately run away to their next class. It was her and I and it was like starring in a glorious black hole, practically the one I'm in now. She was so dangerous yet so tempting and, despite what my Christian family told me about temptation, with Rose, I was following my temptations with her and with that she calmly responded: "Joey, I'm sorry, but I can't let you into my house, my father doesn't like boys of any race in his household." At first, I had taken this as an overly-protected dad just making sure that his very attractive daughter wasn't having a baby while still in highschool just like everyone else here. With that, I had respected her father's wishes and Rose's and my relationship had started to grow together. I described it as a thorn bush intertwining with a garden full of already thorned roses.