I Belong With . . . (Book 2)

Chapter Seven / The Secret Ring

I’ve never really been good and healthy coping mechanisms, not in high-school and not really in college so I shouldn’t- wouldn’t be good at them now. Except it was becoming more and more apparent that the older I got, the worse those mechanisms got. That was abundantly clear by me sitting in the dark at two in the morning on my fourth glass of sangria.

Although it could be worse, it could have been a bottle of Vodka or Whiskey or any kind of spirit. I like to think my choice of Sangria bought me some brownie points, even if they were little.

Chris had gotten up twice to check on me, I knew he wasn’t exactly approving of this new addition to my right hand but his quiet grunt and footsteps echoing away told me plenty. He knew there wasn't exactly much he could say. The night ended with another silent argument. He tried his best to get things back on track but it was impossible, his mum hated my guts and thought I was good for nothing w***e. His career was hanging on by shreds because of my scandal and now his family was barely hanging on because of me. I really don’t think it could get much worse than that. Somehow the last year we spent in this house didn’t compare to the crap that was going down now.

I knew I should be wallowing in self pity but it felt pointless to do anything else.

Right now I needed some kind of a way to forget. I just wanted to forget.

“You can’t spend all night drinking Fay,” Chris’s voice brushed my ears from the kitchen archway but my mind was already boggled by the alcohol and all I could do was laugh awkwardly with a slur.

“Watch me,”

“Please. . . Just come to bed. I'll fix this, I promise-”

“How? Y-you gonna wipe the whole world's memories? Your m-mothers?” I snapped, my own voice sounding like a stranger to my own ears.

I heard his footsteps sounding behind me coming to a complete stop beside my chair as he kneeled down with one hand planted firmly on my leg. His maple eyes burnt into the side of my face as he gently squeezed my knee trying to force me to look at him but I couldn't. I didn't want to. A part of me, the sober part was too ashamed.

“You stood up to your mother once for me, even if it meant losing her for good. You think I wouldn't do the same for you?” he whispered, his soft voice sending a chill down my neck.

“You shouldn't have t-too,” I mumbled. “They mean everything t-to you.” I managed to force out between hiccups.

“So do you.” he replied. “I will do everything Fay, everything I can to make this right. She will see it Fay, she’ll see the real you just give me time.”

I couldn't stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks or the way my shoulders started to shake from silent sobs. He was saying everything I wanted to hear, I knew he was. But deep down I knew the truth, if things didn't turn around. . . If he couldn't fix this. . . Jose would have his way. There was only so much a man could give up before he was left with nothing but resentment. . . I couldn't live with him resenting me. If this didn't turn around he’d have to make a choice. . . And if he didn't then I would.

And I would always choose to save him. No matter at what cost.

“Just please Fay,” he mumbled pleading as his throat cracked a little. “Don’t do this. I can't lose someone else to this poison.”

His right hand reached over cupping mine, gently nudging my hand begging me to let go of the cup. That's when it hit me. My eyes went wide as I gasped letting go immediately.

How could I have been such an i***t? How could I have forgotten his father? How much he suffered because of the mistake his father made choosing alcohol as his escape?!

“Chris. . . I-“ the words failed on my lips as I looked down at his pained face. He looked pale, his lips wavering as his eyes blurred with a sad relief. His eyes looked like shattered glass stuck in a past I could only imagine. I wrapped my arms around him as his head fell into my lap, his arms engulfing my waist and thighs tightly.

I pick him. Over the pain, over the self-destruction . . . I pick him. I never wanted to see that look on his face again, I never wanted him to feel like someone else picked that glass over him. Not me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered into his hair before he gently wrapped an arm under my knees and lifted me to his chest taking us back to the bedroom.

~

It’s been a while since I woke up with a raging headache but the moment the images from last night raced back to my mind, I threw my head back against the pillow with a moan and accepted I deserved it.

Chris on the other hand disagreed as he walked back in the room with a glass of water and a couple of tablets.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, shoving the tablets into my mouth and taking a gulp of water.

“Are you still meeting with Julian today?” Chris asked, his voice clipped as his eyes read mine for any reaction.

I’d totally forgotten about that given the events of last night!

“Yeah. . . I guess so,” I replied wearily knowing it wasn’t the most casual of conversations. Chris could snap at any moment with the mention of me spending time with him especially given the mess we found ourselves in that year. Not to mention how much worse it could make this situation if the media got their hands on a new snap of me and him.

Regardless, us being in each other’s pocket wasn’t going to help any situation. We needed time apart even if just for an hour.

“I don’t need to remind you to keep-“

“Away from cameras, keep my eyes open in case of cameras and if they do snap, make sure we’re not doing anything that could possibly be interpreted as-“

“We just don’t need any more trouble.” He added cutting me off as my voice droned on the list that had some how become my life’s mantra since I stepped into the public eye. Although in all fairness, it felt a little late for that now.

“I know. I don’t want anymore trouble either.” I whispered looking down at the duvet. “They just seem to pull trouble out of thin air.”

“Don’t let them.” He replied standing up and making his way to the bathroom.

Well that was a first. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Chris be so . . . I don’t even know but it hurt.

I yanked the covers back myself and walked towards the chest of draws pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans and settling on a white vest with an open red and black checkered shirt with the sleeves clipped up to the elbow. That screamed normal. That screamed he’s just a friend of the cameras did show up.

Walking back to my bedside table, I grabbed the brush and swooped my hair up into a messy bun pinning it lazily above my head before opening the draw to reach for my watch only for my eyes to fall on the double banded silver ring with a large diamond held in the middle surrounded by a group of smaller but equally glistening ones.

Chris had decided the original ring he proposed with wasn’t suitable, he wanted something bigger- something out of this world and to me it was. The bands covered in sapphire and ruby studs making the other Dimonds stand out more.

I held it in my finger tips, a small sad smile playing on my lips. I hadn’t worn this apart from the day he slid it on my finger. God. I didn’t think for a second I would ever take it off until the morning came and the brutal world of the public followed. Ever since then I kept here, there wasn’t even much point on taking it with me when we left . . . It just stayed buried in a draw like us, like our marriage. Maybe that should have been a sign.

I looked on the inside and felt my eyes blurr a little as the inscription came into view.

It will always be you. Chris x

Will it?

“Hey, I’m thinking about dropping by my mothers while you’re out, might as well get a start-“ his voice cut off as I quickly shoved the ring back in the draw and wiped a rogue tear from my eyes.

“Sounds good,” I said quickly before he could mutter anything else. The awkwardness was already too much as I shut the draw and grabbed my phone heading out to the hall.

“Fay-“

“It’s fine Chris. I think that’s a really good idea,” I replied, trying everything to change the topic, even though I knew his trip would be wasted. What was the point? It would just be the same old conversation. Besides, it was just a ring. A piece of metal that we learnt meant nothing. It had to mean nothing. There was no point spending any more time on it.

I sat on the ground and yanked my red converses on not really sure if my choice in clothing was suddenly a good idea with the heat slowly creeping up on us but a dress would be seen as too flirty, shorts far too carefree and tempting and anything that wasn’t black? Well according to the outside world, I would be on the hunt to for a new man to break Chris’s heart. That was the last thing I needed, so black jeans a shirt it was.

Chris on the other hand was eligible to wear whatever as he followed me in a pair of breezy camel shorts and a short sleeved light blue top. He slipped into sandals, his teeth capturing his bottom lip as he fought to keep back whatever sentence it was he wanted to throw out there back in the room.

“Fay look-“ luckily for me, Julian saved the day . . . Again as he honked from outside.

“I should go.” I said standing up and walking towards Chris planting a quick kiss on his lips. “I’ll see you later.”

Just as I turned away Chris’s hand shot out wrapping around my arm and forcing me back towards his chest as his brown eyes bore into line.

“Remember what happened last time . . . Don’t let it happen again . . . Please.” I nodded and slowly pulled away before almost sprinting out the door towards Julians car as his white pearly smile greeted me from the open window.

How could I? It was the first thing that almost broke us.

*A/N:* Sorry for the delay and shortness of this chapter guys but I had a gender reveal this week and just wanted to soak it all up so I put writing on hold to just enjoy the moment ^.^ I would have given an update but there’s not really an option to send out a message to everyone on here so sorry about that :3 I’ll start updating through f*******: page though from now on so follow if you haven’t as updates on writing will come through there! anyhoo next chapter will be a flashback to when they went to Spain after the ending of the first book!! I’ll try to make it a lot longer than this one