I Belong With . . . (Book 2)

Chapter Six / The Eye of the Storm

Chris had fallen asleep next to me in a matter of minutes as I lay there tangled in the sheets trying to cling to that mind fogging exillieration I thought I wouldn’t feel again. But just like the moment itself, it fluttered away far too quickly and that same old skin seething dirt filled feeling took over as my arms clung the sheets to my bare chest. Nothing about this felt right anymore. I was naked and it felt like the whole world was standing in this room right now glaring and laughing. 

I waited a few more minutes until I could hear Chris’s soft snore before I peeled myself away in search for an oversized T-shirt. 

Would it always be like this? Would I ever get over this?

I hated those questions so much but it was all that ever raced through my head. 

Settling on Chris’s discarded red one, I yanked it on and slowly made my way towards the kitchen filling up a tall glass with ice. Thank god we didn’t really have to leave much, all thanks to deliveries but I knew there would be a point where we’d have to go visit his family. Surprisingly, I kind of wanted to see Katia. It had been a while and I was almost sure that girl would know exactly what to say to throw my head on the right way. 

But what if she hated me now for bringing this kind of shame on their family?!

I shook the thought away quickly as I took a sip of the cold Sangria letting the bitter sweet taste of orange and berries fill my throat, allowing my eyes to settle on the lush green grass outside the large kitchen windows. I have to snap out of this at some point. I can’t live my whole life hiding, things just don’t work like that but how long? How long until Chris’s little fantasy world would snap and We’d be forced to face the flashing lights? How long until things would eventually settle back down to normal like they had been and life just continues on?

God I miss college. 

Things were so simple then. The only thing I had to worry about was some silly crush and Chris finding out. Now my life felt like a whirlwind of secrets and shame. Most of which I’m spending every second of the day trying to shield Chris from. 

I never stopped to think how tiring it could get, dating and marrying an international superstar. Then again, it never felt that way before. Lust and bliss did a pretty darn good job at hiding that part. Our lives were so simple, so wrapped up in each other that the outside pressure didn’t c***k the glass. Now? Now it felt like everything was focused on stopping that c***k from spreading. 

This was the first time since college since I had to focus on me but even then; it was me with the element of Chris. His career was far bigger than us and that isn’t his fault. Maybe mine for being so naive at the beginning but not his. 

But I still don’t think I’d change it for the world. That man asleep next door brought my world trembling to its knees when I wasn’t shrouded in this curse. He made me feel things I didn’t think I’d ever feel. He saw something in me that no one else did.

Without focusing I took a couple more gulps, my thought steering in a whole new direction. 

We’d become so isolated recently. The old gang now spread out completely. We barley kept touch most days everyone seemed to have leaped on with their whole new lives. Even Chris’s football mates had changed, the teams rearranged to the point it seemed his whole group were strangers and all of them kept out of the loop. Nick was probably the only constant in his life and probably the only voice of reason but even Jose managed to put a wedge there. If it weren’t for me constantly nagging Chris to go on a dudes night out every once in a while I doubt he’d have much of a social life. 

Everything was so different and the old ties we had between us had moved on. 

Our spheres had so drastically changed I couldn’t help the small frown that pulled on my forehead. Maybe that’s why it had been so easy for Jose to wiggle his way through to so much mental power it was insane. I hated Daniel for his tactics that year sure but at the same time, that guy was a godsend compared to Jose. 

“Hey,” Chris mumbled with a yawn as his hands wrapped around my stomach, his bare chest pressing gently against my back. I was so lost in thought I hadn’t heard him come up behind me. “What you thinking about?”

His lips pressed to the side of head and I let myself relax back into him. “Life.”

I felt him stiffen behind me and slowly turned in his arms to see his sleepy face suddenly tense as if I’d just taken ten steps back. “Not like that. Just about college and how things were back then.”

His features softened and his hands fell to my hips as a sad smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “You regretting-“

“Never.” I cut him off quickly. My face serious as I watched his eyes lighten. His hands gripped my hips a little tighter and before I knew it he’d lifted me up onto the counter maneuvering his naked body between my legs. God, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that view. He was like a Greek statue carved right by the hands of Zeus himself and just the site alone was enough to cast away those thoughts even for a moment. 

“Good because there’s no take backs.” He mumbled pressing his lips to mine as I wrapped my arms around his neck. 

Yup, I was good with that. 

“So what do you want for dinner?” He said against my neck, layering kisses down to my shoulder.

“Mmm, surprise me.”

“Okay, I can do that. And I’ll give you the pleasure of watching me cook naked. Extra bonus.” I couldn’t help laughing as he pulled away and walked towards the fridge pulling out a mixture of ingredients. He’d become quite the chief these past couple of years but whenever he tried to complicate the recipe. . . Well lets just say that would end in disaster.

Half way through cooking thats exactly what ended up happening as he desperately tried fanning the smoke from the air in a panic with another cloth pressed to his mouth and nose while I sat there unable to stop myself from laughing hysterically.

Apparently pork and clams came under the complicated list! But nothing beat watching his bare ass run around trying to stop it from burning as he carried the charred pieces of pork towards the sink, keeping his body as far from the black pan as possible.

“Careful, don’t wanna burn your Crown Jewels.” 

“Hahaha, so funny,” he muttered, dropping the pan into the sink and racing back for the clams.

From the moment he turned on that stove he was doomed. Sparks of oil jolted out at his chest and he never got too close to actually grab anything, cooking naked definitely was not his thing. He was doomed from the moment he started.

After finally getting the window open enough to clear out some of the smoke and fanning the smoke detector like a crazy person, he dropped into the seat next to mine with an eyebrow raised. “Take-out?”

“Sounds good to me. Tapas?”

“Got you.” He said back with a wink as he raced to grab his phone and place our order.

By the time the food finally arrived, Chris had decided he was better off back in his shirt and shorts and although in his own words, “That delivery drive would be blessed to see me up close and personal.”

I managed to force a laugh for the sake of the evening and keeping it going at the tone he’d tried so hard to get but deep down, the joke hit differently and I just couldn’t really find the humour in it anymore.

We sat down and I chewed at some of the fried crispy chorizo as Chris went on about wanting to go back to that hill where we shared our first kiss. Romantic as it was it wasn’t the thing I could focus on.

“What about your mother?” I asked, swallowing the last bite and reaching for some crispy bread as before I noticed the way his jaw seemed to tense. “I bet she knows we’re here, it would probably go down better if we went over and-“

“No.” He interjected quickly reaching for his cup of water. 

“No?” I repeated a little confused. From what I understood, she threw a fit when she found out we got married in secret and without her there. Understandably. But it left a bad taste in her mouth when it came to me. I’d never actually met the woman, not properly apart from a few quick conversations over FaceTime with Chris translating but it didn’t take a genius to see we’d royally f****d up with that decision.

I’d started learning Portuguese in hopes maybe that would buy me some points when it came to meeting her and we were supposed too its just our plans never seemed to line up especially with Chris’s game schedules. It just felt like now was the moment and maybe not the best timing but hiding longer from her sure as hell wasn’t going to get me any points. Besides, I’d much rather a meeting go down when Katia’s there smoothing out my image than without.

Anymore time of going without meeting the mother in law was just filling me up with pointless anxiety. Might as well bite the bullet.

“We have to meet her at some point Chris-“

“Not now.” He said pressing his teeth down together.

A part of me couldn’t help but wonder if all this was on purpose. What if she had already made up her mind, what if she hated my guts and there was no changing it? There had to be a reason for his reaction and that was the only one that made sense. “I just don’t think now is the right time.”

I looked down at my plate and let the last piece of bread fall from between my fingers as I slowly nodded. “Right.”

“Look thats not what-“

“Yes it is. Your mum, she doesn’t like me. . . Especially after the news reports,” I mumbled reaching for my glass. Suddenly, this sangria felt like a lifeline.

“That’s not true,”

“You don’t have to lie Chris. She already disliked me from the moment we got married without saying a word. Those p-photos. . . They’re just the nail in the coffin.” I forced out before taking a mouthful of sangria, almost downing half the glass in one go. Suddenly that fun electric spark to the air had turned stale and my muscles had tensed as Chris sighed in response. “It doesn’t matter Fay. She’ll get over it.”

“Well either way,” I said letting out a deep breath and leaning back against my chair. “We’re not hiding from her anymore. That was the first mistake, they end today. Tomorrow we’ll go see her and she’ll see it was all just-“ I cut off noticing the way his eyes shut tightly closed and his hands balled into fists, he shoulders hunched over the table now like he was in pain, like he knew something that would break me. “What?”

“We can’t do that Fay.”

“Of course we can.”

“No, we can’t.” I was about to ask why when the words lift his mouth in a quick hushed mumble. “She doesn’t want to see you. She told me not to bother bringing you over because she won’t open the door.”

That left me sat there in complete silence as I felt my cheeks burn with shame.

There it was. 

There was the first real consequence of all this crap.

His mother was one of the most important people in his life, his family meant the world and now. . . Now it was torn right down the middle because of me. It didn’t take a genius to know what that meant. 

“Oh.” Was all I managed to say as I gripped my glass tighter and finished off my drink. 

The pain that raged in my chest was something else but I couldn’t let myself focus on that because if I did, it would swallow me whole yet all the words that drowned out from his mouth next fell on death ears. It didn’t matter what he said, his life had just gotten a hell of a lot more complicated and it was so clear, so crystal clear that it would all hit the fan sooner than either of us would like.

This little fantasy Chris wanted us to live in temporarily was never going to work. 

Not when my past managed to infiltrate every aspect of our future.

“Fay,” Chris’s hand shot out wrapping around my wrist before I could another gulp of my refilled glass. “I’ll fix this okay? I promise.”

I smiled weakly at him with a small nod. 

He couldn’t fix it. . . It wasn’t his to fix.