The World Called Excalibur

Awkward Moments

       Zhangsun Shan found himself falling from the sky, he was falling so fast and from such a high distance, he had his two arms spread wide open, he was so happy he had his other arm back although he was still naked, living with an arm for twelve years had been most difficult, when no one was around, Zhangsun Shan could cry and complain about his misfortune wishing he could just die or have his other arm but he ensured he never showed his emotions outside in order to prevent becoming an object of vulnerability.

Soon Zhangsun Shan was about to approach the ground.

"All right, time to do this" Zhangsun Shan smiles to himself as he takes a deep breath

"Martial arts style : baby wind" he said as he opened his mouth towards the ground, he expected a massive amount of wind to come out which would cause him to propel even higher in the air and land on his two feet but that didn't happen, he was still dropping towards the ground at a high velocity.

It was then that Rui Hongcha came to mind, players were forbidden from using Krigo techniques.

"This is the end then" Zhangsun Shan says as he closes his eyes in such a pitiful way he looked like a frightened coward, he felt like he had stopped dropping as he could feel the hard and sturdy ground beneath his feet, he opens his eyes and sees himself standing on the ground, he was amazed as that was physically impossible, the way he was dropping down meant he had to land on his head but at least, it as towards his favor, he found himself standing close to a small hut, the hut was about 6 ft high, there were several small huts around and they each had people standing beside them, there were a few buildings which didn't look like huts, they looked like semi advanced infrastructures, one of them had "Armoury" written on it's banner, another had "Potions and Equipments" and the last peculiar building was a small place with a burning furnace at it's centre, a man dressed as a blacksmith stood directly in front of it, sweat dripping from his forehead, he was presently working on a long sword hitting it as furiously as he could.

All of the people which Zhangsun Shan saw each appeared frozen; they were incapable of movement.

#THIS IS THE ENTRY POINT FOR PLAYER Z# came the voice again which seemed to be reverberating around, then it stopped

#AWWWWWWW# the voice continued

#IT'S SO CUTE#

Zhangsun Shan was wondering what caused the voice to talk like that until he looked down, it was his manhood, it had been shrunk to it's most compact size so it really was pitiful.

Quickly, Zhangsun Shan puts his two hands to cover his genitals.

"Hey, you dreg, you are not permitted to look upon God's genitals" Zhangsun Shan shouts aloud red getting on his cheeks.

#HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA# the voice laughed merrily, the tone of the voice was feminine, it had always been

#I HAVE SEEN SO MANY PLAYERS COME HERE AND I HAVE TO ADMIT, THAT'S ONE OF THE CUTEST SIZES I HAVE EVER SEEN#

Zhangsun Shan could feel his entire face getting red, he quickly toughens up as he blurts out

"It's cold in here."

#REALLY, YOU ARE REALLY GONNA GO WITH THAT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MEN ALWAYS FINDING EXCUSES FOR THEIR GENITALS, UHHHHRGGG, IT'S WHY I LEFT MY BOYFRIEND, HE WAS TOTALLY THE WORST# the voice had now adopted a feminine teenage voice as it blurted out the last part.

"I don't remember asking for your life story" Zhangsun Shan says, his face all red from embarrassment

"Also, can I get some clothes? this is really embarrassing."

#YOU ARE SO RUDE# the voice says now adopting a typical nagging woman's voice

#THAT'S NOT HOW TO TALK TO A GIRL, I AM SURE YOU AIN'T POPULAR WITH OTHERS, PROBABLY JUST A FRUSTRATED VIRGIN#

"Were you saying something, I lost you at the part when you were at blah blah blah" Zhangsun Shan says still maintaining his calm demeanor.

#URRRGH# the voice had now adopted a feminine teenage voice

#WHATEVER, TO ACCESS YOUR STATS, JUST CLICK THE TRIANGULAR BAR AT THE BOTTOM SIDE OF YOUR FIELD OF VISION, SPEAK TO THE VILLAGE CHIEF, HE WILL DIRECT YOU TO YOUR PRESENT QUEST, ALSO YOU CAN DO QUESTS FOR NPCs IN RETURN FOR CERTAIN REWARDS, HAVE FUN PLAYING, YOU JERK#

"Wait" Zhangsun Shan shouts aloud as he looks around still covering his crotch

"I still don't have clothes on" but the voice didn't reply

Fortunately for him, the people had resumed to their daily lives and were no longer paused but none paid any attention to him, their movements were fixed as they would just walk a certain distance forward, then go back to their origin point, then repeat the same steps continuously, the only ones who weren't moving at all were the ones who stood before their shops.

"At least no one notices I am here" Zhangsun Shan says as he breathes a sigh of relief.

#AS FOR BEING A JERK, I SHALL ADD MOCKERY EFFECT TO THE NPCs# the voice came again.

"Ooh no" Zhangsun Shan says as he quickly brings his head up, almost immediately, everyone's attention was turned at Zhangsun Shan, they began to laugh merrily.

"Momma" he heard a small boy say, he was a small kid, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, he tugged on the cloth of a woman probably in her early thirties, he points over at him

"Why is his Ochinchin so small?" the boy asks.

Ochinchin is another word for p***s.

Zhangsun Shan covers his head in shame as he ran away from the area, he could hear all sorts of laughter and mockery, he really felt flustered and annoyed with himself, the entry point where he just left was a village and it was surrounded by a bare area of land which the ground itself had a unique colour that he had never seen; it was purple.

Zhangsun Shan bends down as he looked upon the bizarre ground, he had never seen anything like that.

Just immediately, some words pop up in his field of vision.

  A LIARM BEAST WANTS TO CHALLENGE YOU FOR TRESPASSING ON HIS LAND, YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS

A) ACCEPT AND SHOW WHO'S BOSS

B) RETREAT LIKE THE WIMP YOU ARE.

     SO WHAT SHALL IT BE THEN

                     A OR B.

"I am no wimp" Zhangsun Shan says with utmost confidence

"I accept the battle with the beast, I am hungry, he would make a nice meal."

Liarm beasts were the most common monsters back in his home village; Kraido village.

There were rarely any other types of monsters and even if they were, Rui Hongcha or should I say Rui Xing had easily destroyed them without mercy.

           A IT IS THEN, GOOD LUCK FIGHTING A PACK OF LIARM BEASTS NAKED, YOU i***t!!!

after the words showed in his field of vision, he could definitely hear a snicker behind it.

Zhangsun Shan was annoyed at the last words and the snicker of the voice, he didn't feel anything unusual and still couldn't see any creature in front of him but suddenly, hundreds of Liarm beasts appear before him.

Zhangsun Shan quickly maintains a battle stance as he looked upon his opponents which faced him, using his left arm, he tries to feel for the hilt of his katana, it was then that it dawned on him that he was naked.

"Well then, I can use Krigo without even my weapon, this is a sure win for me" Zhangsun Shan smiles to himself as he swallows as much air as he could

"Martial arts style : dragon's breath" he says as he expels all the air he had swallowed towards the beasts which faced him but nothing happened, the beasts were shooting each other amazed looks like what was supposed to happen.

"Ooh f**k" Zhangsun Shan says

"I forgot, I can't use Krigo."

"Make we tear hin flesh" he heard the Liarm beast say, he was amazed as he had never heard a Liarm beast speak for.

"Sure thing na, though his ochinchin is very small, I no fit chop that kind small thing with this hunger wey do me" he heard another Liarm beast say.

The manner of their speech was unique to say the least, he had never heard anyone speak like that, same went for the voice, just exactly what was this world.

"Oya now, let's go before the food runs away" the biggest amongst them say, he was standing directly before him, the rest were smaller and they seemed like his subordinates; he was their leader.

It was about 6 feet tall, almost the same height with Zhangsun Shan.

As the leader of the park said that, all the Liarm beasts ran towards the naked man, slobber dropping from their tusks.

Zhangsun Shan seeing them ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction, he was making his way back to the village.

"Baba wan japa" he heard a Liarm beast say with a snicker in his voice.

"We no go allow am, he don enter am today" the leader of the park say.

Zhangsun Shan's face was sweating heavily as he kept running, he realized something, he wasn't feeling fatigued or weak in any way and from the distance separating him from the beasts, he was obviously way faster than them.

Zhangsun Shan grinned to himself as he finally sees the village in sight, running towards it as fast as he could.

A message popped up in his field of vision.

OUT OF BOUNDS, MAFO.

ODE, YOU NO FIT LEAVE, YOU DON ENTER AM.

Zhangsun Shan was amazed as he saw the message which was there, he didn't understand what was written but he kept running as fast as he could, the way the message seemed was like it was mocking him, everything that had happened since he entered this strange world had just been one mockery after another.

Zhangsun Shan was immediately snapped out of his thoughts as he could feel his body electrocuting and burning at the same time.

"AHHRRRGGGHHHHHH" He shouts aloud, he quickly steps back, there was nothing in front of him and he was a few feet from being at the position of the first hut in village and yet there was nothing which could have electrocuted or burnt him, just exactly was happening.

He puts forward his index finger and he could feel the same effect flooding through his entire body.

"AHHHHRGGGGH" He screams again as he retracts back his finger, suddenly, a message pops up in his field of vision.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, YOU ARE SUCH AN i***t, AREN'T YOU???.

Zhangsun Shan saw three laughing emojis after the message but he didn't understand what that meant, he could feel the Liarm beasts closing in on his location, if he wanted to live, he had to think and act fast.

It was then that the voice which had spoken to him earlier during his entry to this world came into his mind, she had said he could access his stats from a triangular bar in the bottom side in his field of vision.

It was then that he realized it was then he noticed a very small bar at the edge of his right side; it was brightly blue and triangular in shape.

It was surprising to him as he had never seem anything like that, he tried to click it with his arm but nothing happened.

"Ooh f**k" he says, he was even more amazed with himself for what he was saying as he just kept saying 'ooh f**k'

Hearing the running sounds of the beasts approaching him, he couldn't help but feel devastated, it was really over for him, now he understood why the two princes ran away from the kingdom, this place was really a hell.

He wished he could just find a way to tap the bar and immediately, a rectangular bar appeared in his field of vision.

It has a picture of his entire body and there was a message directly adjacent to those words.

The words read;

              Player name -: Z

              Name -: Zhangsun Shan

              Attributes -: has a small p***s, says ooh f**k whenever things go wrong which they tend to go happen a lot, $$$updatting new attribute$$$

            Level -: 1.

            Hp-: 15

            Strength -: 11

           Speed -: 6

           Agility -: 0

           Endurance -: 0

           Overall Defense -: 0

           Mana -: 0

            Intelligence -: 1

           Classification -: Warrior.

        Zhangsun Shan was amazed as he saw those stats as truly he had never seen anything like that but there was something else, directly below those two stats were two rectangular objects, they were bars, on the first bar read;

         Equipped (0).   

And on the second bar read;

       Inventory (3).

Close to those to bars read;

          Gold -: 0.      Skill points -: 0

Zhangsun Shan had never heard the word inventory before, remembering what he did to activate the triangular bar earlier on, he clicked the inventory and almost Immediately, he saw a 3 by 3 matrix, on the top left on the matrix, he saw three objects;

His original samurai wear; a white robe with colourful blue designs at the hems, when he clicked on it by wishing he could, this popped up;

       Name -: Zhangsun Shan's wear.

  Attributes -: Reeks of stupidity and  arrogance.

             Level -: 0

              Physical Defense -: 0

               Magic defense -: 0

               Hax defense -: 0

Zhangsun Shan seeing he had nothing to wear and seeing his favorite cloth there was happy as almost immediately, he wished he had it on, almost immediately, his cloth appeared on his body.

"This is neat" he smiles to himself, looking over at the other objects in the matrix,;

Directly beside the space where his robe was stood the black cube, the one which Rui Xing had originally handed to them earlier on.

Zhangsun Shan currently had no interest in it so he skipped it;

And directly beside that was Rui Xing's weapon, the shining red one which he always carried, he clicks on it and this popped up.

          Name -: Igrizo.

          Level -: 1

          Attributes -: Can read and rewrite minds of creatures below level 1, can create illusions.

     Physical attack -: 15

      Magic attack(fire) -: 21

    Hax attack (M.M) -: 2

*M.M -: mind manipulation.

Zhangsun Shan could hear the Liarm beasts directly behind him, they were each snarling merrily, they thought they had finally had him cornered.

Zhangsun Shan grins as he faces them.

A message suddenly popped up in his field of vision.

New attribute of player Z updated -: he's a jerk.

"Must be that strange feminine voice I heard earlier" Zhangsun Shan thought to himself.

Just then, he heard the beasts in front of him speaking about how they were going to devour him.

"I don't mean to intrude..." Zhangsun Shan says aloud as Igrizo suddenly materializes in his right arm, he now had all the attention of the beasts as they were amazed at how he had suddenly got the weapon

"...but you all won't be returning home tonight."