Finding Hope

Chapter 5

The Lorelei family headed out from John's neighborhood once daybreak hit, letting them have something to eat and pack up any keepsakes they wanted with them from his house.

With Hope swaddled to her body as usual, and that insanely heavy backpack on her back. The kids still weren't thrilled to leave the security of a house, but Lorelei knew they couldn't stay forever.

If it wasn't being overrun by dead or possibly raided by other people, they would run out of food eventually. If anyone did decide to go through the house they would be surprised with half a loaf of bread, spoiled milk, and a few slices of cheese at their disposal. The city was the worst place to be at the beginning of an outbreak.

Not only would there be dead everywhere because of people that couldn’t escape, there would be people that might be dangerous. She didn’t want to think that they were all dangerous and untrustworthy, but she wouldn’t know until she actually encountered them.

She and the kids wandered down the street, farther into downtown. Everything was way more damaged and crumbled at this point. A building was literally in ruins, like it was burned down and nobody was there to stop it. Emily was more alarmed at that, so her head hid into Lorelei’s shirt as they went past the decrepit structure. All to ashes.

"Mommy, can I hold your knife now?" Said little Chris, not as fazed by the destruction. Honestly, Lorelei would rather tell him and not give him the knife. At least not right away. "Okay, I need you to listen first. Are you listening?" She was serious, firm, knives were dangerous. But they were survival now.

Chris nodded his head, his attention fully on Lorelei. They stopped and she led them out of the road, into the small grassy area. She crouched down in front of him and her hand was placed on his shoulder, "I need you to know that knives are not toys. They are for protecting yourself and others. Only use them in dangerous situations." She showed him the knife, and he looked down at it. His hand reached over, "Okay… I got it. Don't play with it. " Emily seemed to not be thrilled by the talk of knives as she cowered away behind her mom.

Chris was a little kid at heart, but he seemed more capable of handling a knife than his sister. She might get there one day, everyone processed differently. He tilted his head, "How do I use it to kill zombies?" Lorelei stood up and looked around for a zombie or two, "I'll show you, and then you can try." She headed towards what looked like a grocery store, Dillons.

Outside the entrance there was a zombie stuck in a shopping cart, unable to move or get out. There was a second one wandering around near the side of the store, so she went for that one first. Chris followed right behind, curiously. She sighed, "So, most zombies will be way bigger than you. They will try to get you, they don't care if you're big or small." She needed to demonstrate it, so she let the zombie come to them. This was also something new for her to try.

She ducked down as the zombie lunged with its mouth and teeth. Going for its knees, she stabbed it in the knee cap. Then kicked it, and thankfully it fell to its knees, "For dealing with them, you'll want to use your size to your advantage. Get them on your level. Want to do the honors?" She didn't like that she had to show him how to kill, he should be able to have a better life than this. But she would still try her best to give him and Emily a good life, the only difference was that survival got in the mix.

"Sure mom!" While the zombie was down, she took the knife out of the knee and handed it to her son by the wooden part. He took it, looking at the dead thing. Then he lifted the knife and pierced through, right between the eye balls. The zombie collapsed to the ground. He cheered and Lorelei got the knife back in her grasp. She smiled warmly, “Good job Chris! Now we just need to find you a knife on your own!" She grew serious after a moment, "I'm trusting that you will be careful, and safe with it, and I know you're just a kid. You can always say no if you change your mind."

He understood that from what she could tell, "I know, mom. I just want to help so you don't have to do it all on your own. So you have someone." He smiled brightly, reassuringly even. It was so sweet she wanted to tear up. She finally said, "Okay. Thank you, sweetie." And wanted to finish off the one in the shopping cart, put it out of its misery.

She heard a scream that was child-like and quickly glanced at Chris, but he was right there. He had been with her the entire time. It sounded like a girl, like- her eyes widened. Emily! Where was Emily?? She thought she was with her, but she must’ve wandered off so she didn’t have to witness a zombie being stabbed. She looked all around and started bolting towards the front of the Dillons in search of her daughter or where the scream came from.

Lorelei stopped suddenly, the entrance doors wide open, being blocked by a peculiar flipped over shopping cart. Behind it there were 5, maybe 10 zombies trying to get through the door by climbing over the shopping cart. And it was working. She had to find her daughter.

She ran with her son in toe, as zombies piled through the entrance and came after them as well. Like a pack or a horde, they were hot on their trail. She ran across the street and scanned the area with panic, thumping her heart hard in her chest and making it hard to breathe. There was the building in ruins, the GoodWill, the two houses side by side. Where a park used to be.

Another scream rang in the air and she spun around, that scream clearly being Emily’s now, she was closer to her than earlier. It was clear as day. It sounded so afraid and panicky, like she was, in this world. She spotted her running away from a zombie, perhaps the one that was in the shopping cart. And behind Lorelei and Chris were 5-10 zombies coming for them. She needed to drive them away, but she needed to protect Emily too. Either way, she would be taking a risk.

She weighed her options for a moment, but only for a moment. Chris tugged on her shirt, “Mom! We have to go! Emily needs us now!” That snapped her out of her freezing stance and she started running towards Emily, 20 feet away in a parking lot to the closed down park. She grabbed Chris’s hand and the other had her knife of course as she went. She yelled out, “Emily! Find something to climb on! Get better ground!” She went and killed the closest zombie to them before it could lay a hand on Chris.

✧.*Emily’s P.O.V:

On the other side, Emily started climbing a slide to the top of it as the shopping cart zombie was reaching towards her. She kicked it’s head away, her hands on the ridges of the slide and she pushed herself as far up the slide as she could. She had been crying the whole time she was running, out of pure fear. She didn’t want to die or better yet, she didn’t want to go out while fighting for her life. She kicked and kicked, her sneakers slightly getting the zombie to push back, but it also made it hard for her to get up to where she needed to be, on higher ground, like her mom said. She wasn’t a very good fighter, she was quite terrified all the time actually, it never went away even when she went to sleep. Then it popped up in her dreams.

She saw her mom gaining on her with her brother and baby sister. She had hope that they would save her. There was a horde of zombies behind her family though and it worried her that they were in danger. She whimpered and kicked the zombie’s face again, screaming “Get away from me! Please! Leave me alone!” she didn’t know if it could understand any of that, because then it snatched her shoe, and pulled her down the slide like it was starving and desperate for her flesh.

She got pulled off of the slide and was on the ground and it had a grip of her shoe, so of course the smart thing was to try and get her shoe off. She let it pull and tug towards its face and she pulled backwards on her foot. She didn’t know what else to do or how else to get away. She was stuck and desperately trying to get out of this and be under the safety of her mother again. And she was so focused on that, not dying, she didn’t notice her mom yank her by the arm and pull her away from the zombie. She scrambled away and started running with Chris and Lorelei, she didn’t care that she just lost a shoe. There would be others somewhere. She was okay now.

The group made a beeline for safety, the horde gaining on them, it was more than enough to kill them all if any of them let their guards down. Emily had a desperate and firm grip on her mothers arm as they ran across the street from the park, over to the nearest building. Chris yelled out in panic, “What are we going to do?? Mom?”

Lorelei was trying to figure that out quickly because they wouldn’t be able to outrun this forever. They needed safety. She needed to save her kids. She knew it would be a tough risk to make, and maybe it would’ve been better if the horde was led away first. She wouldn’t let any chance of her daughter getting killed by those things come to the surface. Now, she just hoped that they could get away.

“That motel over there, we just need to get there and lock ourselves inside, okay?” The worried mother said while frantically pointing and running. Emily nodded quickly and so did Chris. So that was where they dashed towards. Except that they were tiring out, and the zombies were getting closer. 5 feet away. 4 feet away. 3.

The group was suddenly stopped by what felt like a strong pull, and Chris pulled against it even though he didn’t know what was causing it. He had been holding on to his mother, Just like Emily had. Lorelei looked around and saw what she had feared most. Emily screamed as she started being yanked away from her family, “MOMMY! MOMMY PLEASE!” She cried in pure terror, the zombies holding onto her clothes and grabbing onto her legs and shoulders. More crowded around her.

Lorelei had to let go of Chris in order to have a free hand, and she pulled and pulled to get her daughter to safety. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She just couldn’t, “It’s okay sweetie!! Mommy’s got you!” Her free hand went around her daughter’s back to put more force into it, she wasn’t giving up on her.

The undead weren’t giving up either. Emily’s cries and screams worsened as blood spilled out of the flesh of her leg that was being ripped apart. Then her other leg got bitten into, and Lorelei’s eyes widened. No no no no no…. No! “EMILY!” The mother screamed, but her grasp loosened as her child got dragged into the horde of hungry zombies. Everything soon stilled, the two standing there in horror. Lorelei was frozen in place, the faded screams of Emily in her ears even after they stopped.

Chris pulled her mom away, the hand that had latched onto her daughter desperately now empty like it had never happened. The horde was occupied, and they needed to leave, as devastating as that was. But Lorelei didn’t want to move….. It felt like she couldn’t. She was supposed to protect her. To make sure she grew up despite all the odds. And the odds beat her to it. She failed Emily. She lost her.

“We____ go!” Said a muffled and echoing voice that she didn’t even want to acknowledge or listen to. She was stuck and didn’t know how to go on. Except that she knew they would die too if she didn’t go. That she still had two kids to watch over. To keep safe. Her heart snapped in half, why couldn’t she save her and get out of there? Why was it so unfair…?

Her drifted state quickly dissipated as she kept getting dragged away from the sight of them devouring her sweet Emily. Tears flooding down her face, she finally picked up her feet and ran with her son to the motel. All the doors were outside instead of inside a building, so all they had to do was pick a room and make sure it was clear to stay in.

Chris seemed to pick up the slack and opened one of the doors, peeking inside carefully before going in the room. While he did that, Lorelei stood outside and wasn’t fully there. Kissing Hope’s oblivious and innocent head, tears were endless and she couldn’t stop them. She didn’t dare look back at where it happened. It didn’t feel all that real…. That she was gone. That she just slipped away almost effortlessly…. And there was nothing she could do. She hated that.

Her son came back in the doorway and though he had a clouded look in his eyes, she could tell that he was upset too. It was like he was trying to be strong despite being so young, he wanted to be strong for her. She grabbed Chris’s hand and he led her into the motel room, and closed the door. Locking it behind them too.

She sat on the double bed and watched him pace the room. Everything hurt even more, the fact that he just lost a sister. She called out softly but emotionally, “Chris, Baby.” He stopped and looked over at her, his lip quivering, “I-I cleared out this room by myself. It should be safe.” He sniffed, wiping across his nose. She gave him a solemn nod, waving for him to come over.

Reluctantly he did and sat on the bed beside her with silence. His head was down looking at his hands. He blinked hard, and his mother quickly wrapped an arm around him, pulling him into her embrace. She tried to keep it together as she talked again, “I’m so sorry….” It still cracked at the end. The boy finally let out a sob, “She’s gone…. I thought we had her…..But-” He paused and cried into the crook of the baby carrier on her chest.

She felt like there was nothing she could truly say to make any of it better. She wished she could, some reassurance, some hope…. But nothing came up. She didn’t even know how to move on from something like this. The world took her away without warning, without permission, without care. That was how the world was now, and she hated that too.

She held her son and rubbed his back without having the words. She couldn’t find any. They were lodged in her throat and out of reach. If she did try, she wouldn’t be understood. She would just break down. And….. her family still needed her. Even if one of them was ripped to shreds. Even if one of them couldn’t be saved.

And that hurt to think about. Immensely.

She had no idea what they were supposed to do tomorrow. Other than making it out of the city. It would be so hard. Emily didn’t make it, and perhaps it was because of the choice she made. The risk she took to get her out alive. Guilt mixed in with the grief as she held her son for longer, as long as he needed. As long as they both needed. They were safe….. For now…. But who knew what other risks she would have to take in order to survive? And how could she cope with those choices?

She rested her head onto Chris’s, after giving him a bittersweet kiss on the forehead. He had stopped crying, and they just sat there. In the motel, a little bit lost because of the world they lived in now. All they had was Hope, and the will-power to not give up. Hopefully it was enough. It had to be.