After work, on a tranquil evening, Yuan Fang and I found a Chinese restaurant near the company and simply ordered some dishes, sitting across from each other.
Moments later, as the food was served, Yuan Fang picked up his chopsticks and began eating without waiting for me. Seeing my inaction, he said, "You should eat too."
"Aren't we waiting for Yan Yan?" I asked.
"She's gone to Shanghai to meet Jian Wei. It's just the two of us for dinner tonight," Yuan Fang replied with an air of calm.
"Gone to see Jian Wei? But you're getting married in just a few days. Can she leave at this time?" I questioned with a hint of "confusion."
Yuan Fang dismissed my concern with a nonchalant response, "She just left after work and will be back tomorrow morning. It won't interfere with anything." Nodding, I too began to eat.
Yuan Fang put down his chopsticks and stared at me for a moment before asking, "Zhao Yang, how about we have some alcohol?"
"I won't drink today."
After a while, he looked at me again and said, "You seem a bit down!" Glancing at his watch, he continued, "Yan Yan probably hasn't gone far. Should I call her to come back and pick you up? You could take this rare opportunity to be sober and meet Jian Wei..."
I fell silent for a moment and sighed, "Yan Yan really follows her man like a dog!"
"What do you mean?" Yuan Fang shifted his sitting position, not minding my indirect insult.
"You both are heartless. Could you please not comfort someone who wants to die to the point of actually doing it?"
"Did I comfort you?" Yuan Fang asked with an innocent expression.
My anger flared, "Can you still eat this meal, or should you just leave?"
My outburst made Yuan Fang sigh. He shook his head and said, "You're still the same, turning your back faster than flipping a book whenever Jian Wei is mentioned. Is this hurdle with her really insurmountable for you?"
Only then did I realize that Yuan Fang was just testing the waters, but I didn't know how to respond and fell into silence once more.
Yuan Fang asked the waiter for two cans of Qingdao beer, opened one and handed it to me, and drank one himself. As if deliberately changing the subject, he asked, "How's it going with that model recently? I think she seems quite interested in you."
"Don't even go there. At best, she and I were just toys for each other during our empty times."
"s*x toys?"
"However you interpret it is fine," I said indifferently, and took a swig of beer in front of me.
Yuan Fang took a sip with me and pressed on, "Honestly, tell me, brother, in all these years since Jian Wei left, hasn't there been a single girl in this vast world that has made your heart flutter?"
"No," I answered without hesitation.
Yuan Fang shook his head and said, "You don't seem like a lovestruck person. In fact, it's your heart that's been unsettled all these years. If you calm down and think about it, there's probably always been a girl around you who has made your heart flutter, but you just haven't noticed."
"Unsettled heart?" I questioned Yuan Fang with doubt.
Yuan Fang nodded seriously and gestured to me, "Take a sip of alcohol and think about it, right now. You'll definitely gain something."
I was skeptical but followed Yuan Fang's advice, took a sip of alcohol, and let my thoughts wander, bringing to mind each girl I've been with over the years, but I couldn't find any who had touched my heart. I preferred to freeze the memories of being with them in a single night of passion.
I still remember every morning after a night of passion, the sunlight falling on the quilt lifted by our two bodies, never giving me a sense of security. I often wanted to put on my pants and flee, as if the dawn's light only revealed the poverty of material things, and where could I remember the fluttering heart and soul-stirring moments of the night.
If a woman sat on the same bed with me one morning, discussing marriage based on a house, I would definitely break down. And with this breakdown as a premise, I have long forgotten what it feels like to have a fluttering heart.
"Is there?" Yuan Fang clinked his beer with mine, asking with concern once again.
I just shook my head, took a sip of beer, and was too lazy to say another word, not willing to think of any woman again.
But human thoughts are strange. When I didn't want to think, suddenly the face of my female landlord, who was unrealistically beautiful, "whoosh" appeared in my mind.
I stared at the potted landscape behind Yuan Fang like a machine, and my thoughts surged like a tsunami - could it be that Mi Cai is the woman who makes my heart flutter in Yuan Fang's words?
I quickly denied it, which was an absurd thought. Mi Cai and I had only been together for a few days. Even if she was as beautiful as Chang'e descending to earth, I didn't have to be attracted to her, because the fantasies and impulses about women had long died in the harsh years.
Yuan Fang was still looking forward to my answer, but I didn't want to get entangled with him about the meaningless word "heart flutter" for me, so I simply continued to play with silence.
...
The two of us finished a can of beer and continued eating. Unnoticed, the sky outside the window darkened, and the streetlights on both sides of the road, with the same posture, rendered the city under the night.
Yuan Fang and I each lit a cigarette, idling away the time after dinner, and we continued to chat. As we chatted, Yuan Fang looked at the night outside the window and teased, "Zhao Yang, something is a bit off today. It's completely dark, how can you still sit still? Aren't you supposed to go find some fun?"
"I'm not going anywhere, I'll go home and sleep later."
Yuan Fang seemed shocked by me and exclaimed, "Who has murdered your nights?"
I was taken aback by Yuan Fang's question. Indeed, my drunken and dreamy nights were murdered by a woman who had just appeared in my life.
I was not eager to answer Yuan Fang's question, but I was eager to have him help me analyze a question that had been bothering me for many days. I could never figure out why Mi Cai, who drove a luxury car, would move into that dilapidated house. I was not willing to believe that this was a fate deliberately created for us by heaven. Speaking of fate is also far-fetched, because a few days ago I threw her quilt, and she later threw me into the wilderness. The world seems to have no such torturous fate.
After a while, I said to Yuan Fang, "I'm going to tell you something really fresh."
"Is this fresh thing directly related to you not going out to carouse?"
I nodded, and then I selectively told Yuan Fang about the various things that had happened between me and Mi Cai over the house these days.
After listening, Yuan Fang looked at me with some skepticism. After a brief pause, he asked me, "Are you sure she, driving a luxury car worth millions, moved into your dilapidated house?"
"Of course I'm sure. Help me analyze, analyze, and see what her real motive is?" I said to Yuan Fang very seriously.
"At least it's not for robbery or murder," Yuan Fang said with a disdainful glance at me.
"I know I have no wealth, just a worthless life, but now I'm really talking to you about something serious, can you be serious too?"
"Zhao Yang, we live in a very realistic world. Actually, you really shouldn't expect her to owe you something in the last life and come to repay you in this life."
I stroked my chin and said seriously, "Don't mention it, maybe it's really possible. You say I've done nothing but evil in this life, and I'm so dirty that I must have done too many good deeds in the last life. Maybe my female landlord was favored by me in the last life, and she came to serve me in this life to repay her kindness."
"Serve you? Didn't you say she tricked you into the Suzhou and Wuxi section of the Shanghai-Nanjing Expressway at night, freezing you until your nose was running? Is this how she serves you?"
I pointed at Yuan Fang, speechless for a while, and then said, "You're such a bad friend!"
Yuan Fang smiled, got up, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "Zhao Yang, actually, it's not a bad thing for a woman to appear and divert your attention from Jian Wei..."
Before I could respond, he continued, "It's almost seven-thirty. I have an appointment with the wedding planner at eight o'clock. Let's break up for today."
Watching Yuan Fang leave, I lit another cigarette in confusion, not quite understanding what he said. Why would Mi Cai's appearance divert my attention from Jian Wei?
...
After leaving the restaurant, I bought a can of beer, drank it while walking with the crowded crowd, listening to other people's laughter and noise, thinking about my troubles and heading home.
When I got home and opened the door, the room was pitch black. I turned on the living room light and looked around. The room was filled with coldness, and my female landlord, Mi Cai, seemed to have not come back yet.
I was extremely bored, sat on the sofa and watched TV. Without the drunkenness of the nightclubs, the night seemed to be endlessly long. I can't remember when I was like this, at the beginning of the night, like a housewife looking for entertainment on the TV... and then feeling extremely bored!
It was just eight-thirty, but I was tortured by boredom, smoked a cigarette, and was in a daze for a while. Only ten minutes passed, and I felt like dying. It turned out that a person's night was so hard to endure!
I found a guitar from the room, got a guitar score, and started practicing singing. If there is something I like to do every night besides being drunk, I'm afraid it's only playing the guitar to pass the time.
After singing a song, I was about to play the next one when there was finally some movement outside. Then the door was opened, and I saw Mi Cai, carrying a handbag, so beautiful that it was breathtaking.
Although we had some conflicts, I am not a narrow-minded person, so I didn't belittle her beauty. This woman seems to be a masterpiece of God's impulse.
I put down the guitar in my hand and asked with a smile, "Are you back?"
"Hmm." Mi Cai responded and walked towards her room.
"Stop." I said in a deep voice, with a stern face, but it was the boredom that made me want to tease her.
Mi Cai turned around and looked at me: "What's the matter?"
I looked at Mi Cai, the more I looked, the more puzzled I was about why this woman could be so beautiful? Then I asked without thinking, "How can you be so beautiful, aren't you a monster?"
Mi Cai frowned slightly and said coldly to me, "Please don't give me the feeling of inviting a wolf into the house, okay?"
I immediately stood up and said excitedly, "Miss, you're wrong. I was the one who moved in first. Your saying of inviting a wolf into the house is a bit inappropriate, right?"
Mi Cai didn't care about the order of my arrival, and her tone was still cold: "If you think I'm a monster, you can move out at any time, and I won't have any objections."
"Why should I move? This house was originally mine, and you are at most a new tenant. Besides, you have promised me to live here, and I have also kept the agreement. After work, I sat at home like a Buddha and didn't go anywhere, so don't mention moving in the future." I said, standing up from the sofa to show my excitement.
"Am I your new tenant?" Mi Cai's tone was obviously displeased.
But I didn't care about her displeasure and said, "Yes, from today on, you should regard yourself as a female tenant in front of me. In this room, whoever has more seniority is the landlord."
"You don't think you're very boring? In addition, I have to remind you that you don't need to confuse the concept and force the title of female tenant on me, because I only promised you to live here for a month, and you will leave here forever with the identity of a tenant." Mi Cai said to me with a fearless expression.
"What's wrong with a month? Even if I'm a landlord for only a month, I'm happy!" I said stubbornly, but my mood was depressed because of Mi Cai's words "leave here forever."
Mi Cai didn't want to argue with me anymore, said "Who cares about you," and turned to her room.
...
In the living room alone, I took out a cigarette and lit it. In the pleasure of smoking, I felt funny because of the landlord status I had won by being a scoundrel.
The smoke exhaled floated leisurely towards the window under the light, and I was fascinated. A gust of wind that seemed to be borrowed blew and made me sober. In this gust of wind, I suddenly saw the hazy outline of Jian Wei, and I suddenly remembered: in three days, we will meet at the wedding of Yuan Fang and Yan Yan. I seem to have a premonition that the next three days may be harder than the three years of separation...
To this day, I still can't figure out why we failed to start and end well in the four years of love we managed with the best time in our lives. Even if we broke up, we should at least give me a reason, but...
I closed my eyes, and the smoke kept coming out from my fingertips, which made me want to cry!