Bluey

I lost my parents when I was just three months old. Occasionally, I get asked if I miss them. Well, Yes of course I miss them!" I would reply. What child would answer no? But, as the years would pass by, I started to realise that it was the idea of not having parents that I missed and not my actual parents. I sadly wasn't given the opportunity of getting to know them so my final answer changed to a no as I too got older. As for my foster parents well I rarely got to spend enough time with one certain family, school or even residential area, to be able to compare what true happiness could feel like. So another no there too! The reality of my life was the opposite of a movie. I was not some cute little girl pressed up against an orphanage window who got spotted by a good looking, wealthy couple and taken back 'home' showed to a pink, pretty, private girly room who grew up with love and kindness. I'm certain that exists for some but it didn't for me. For me, it was quite the opposite. I knew from a very young age what rejection felt like. I felt broken and no matter how hard I tried to be good, nothing seemed to please my current family or school teachers and so on. The harder I tried, the worse it seemed to get; until one morning, I decided that's it! I was currently residing with some folk who were in process of adopting me. As always the first few weeks everyone displays their best behaviour. They tried to cook nice meals for me; even called me by my real name: Bluey. The name my biological parents had named me. Apparently, it was because of my eyes. Our kind normally had dark green,grey, brown even black eyes but blue was rare. Mine were turquoise blue eyes, so I was considered alien. But soon their kindness started to be replaced by spanking and burning me. Then came the weirdness and all the crazy dressing up and role playing. I knew I had to leave them. I came with a box. A medium sized cardboard box covered in random glittery stickers combined with red pen scribbles on the outside; a short sentenced note and two photos within. Photo one is of a baby wearing a pink flowered knitted dress. Photo two a couple with a baby. I recognise myself placed in-between the male and female. I have been told they were my biological parents. The man has an athletic build with wavy, side parted, dark brown hair. He seems to have dark eyes and has not shaved for what appears a couple days. The woman has a slim build with strawberry blonde hair. Her eyes seem light coloured but photo too small to tell. When I stare at them I feel the same questions burning my brain over and over. What made them leave me? Where are they now? Will I ever meet them? By age 4, my foster parents took me back to the agency demanding I was ' not the right fit' for them. By the age 12, I had been placed in several foster care homes and anyone that had tried to adopt me kept me for a couple months before running back stating there had been some kind of mistake. I guess they never even made it to the adoption stage- I failed each time. The whole live all together as a trial for a short period of time never worked. When I reached the age 16, I ran away as far as I could. The small amount of money I had saved through the years bought me a greyhound bus ticket to another state. My cardboard box, a pair of jeans, socks, clean underwear, tank top bra, singlets, two woollen jumpers, six t-shirts, a pair of shoes, a winter coat, a snow globe with a tiny wolf, a small makeup pencil case my passport ( funny I even had one) and two packets of hair dye. Whilst sitting at the bus station, I befriended a homeless man. He told me the reasons why he was homeless and the reasons he chose to go on living that way. "As with everything and anything it has its pros and cons!" he said with a hoarse crackly voice. I told him briefly about my life and that I was currently in the process of running away. I was not a coward I joked I was merely tired of the scenery and moving states never to return would cure me. Besides I don't think the orphanages/foster care homes or basically being passed around from family to family was doing me more harm than good. "Well someone will be missing out on receiving cheques for raising you!" his eyes twinkled. I was done being made to feel like I was the one issues. All my paperwork had stated 'deeply troubled, toxic temperament inability to blend into environment, antisocial behaviour, deemed unfit for future adoptions' and several more paragraphs detailing my run ins with the law. They called me an attention seeking kleptomaniac! "Was it my fault the teacher had wanted us to bring in a diary as part of a homework assignment? Was it my fault my stingy foster parents bought only bare minimum essentials? I even bothered to politely ask/beg them to purchase a diary for school and they refused. This was the first school in ages that I actually had made a friend and it was the only school that I seemed to fit into. So yeah, I did steal the damn diary!. It was so that finally I wouldn't have to stand up in front of the whole class and explain why once again I didn't do the homework or whatever other lame assignment I couldn't complete due to my foster parents screwing it up! Well not this time. Of course I got caught! Of course my foster parents lied to the police officer stating they had already bought me a diary and they had planned to surprise me with it this evening. Did the officer even believe them? Who says that? Who does that ? Buy a stupid diary for their child and hides it and apparently waits to give it to them as a surprise!" I took a long breath before starting again. "Ok, perhaps if it was a Christmas gift or Birthday present but definitely not some silly school homework assignment! Pppffff and then, on the way home I received the usual lecture. The voices may have changed through the years but more or less they all had the same insulting use of vocabulary. You tell me, go on tell me?! Who is the crazy one here ?" This was my birthday present to myself. One bag, one way ticket. Freedom! No one would miss me. I stared at the man thinking here I am talking on and on at him perhaps I am the crazy one after all! I was 16 now and although my birthday present wasn't gift wrapped it was certainly the best gift. I looked at the bus as if it was my long lost lover. It started to rain hard as the PA system announced Bus 52 now departing for Texas- last call. Many people began to throw out their rubbish, cigarettes- some flicking them in the rain water filled gutters, others running toward the bin; others picked up their backpacks, their headphones, saying their goodbyes in person or via their mobile phones. Funny what one observes at a bus terminal. I looked over to my new acquaintance the only person who actually had spoken to me with kindness. That 1 hour chat was the longest, decent conversation I had ever had. He must have been in his late forties, he seemed so knowledgeable. I noticed his deep yellow stained fingers from tobacco and thought I wish there was a way to keep in touch. The bus driver was just about done with placing the last luggage in the undercompartment giving me my cue to say my goodbyes and make my way to departing bus. I pulled the insides of my pockets out dropping two twenty dollar notes. The last of my savings. Not good with words I managed to say, "Here! Thank YOU kind stranger for being YOU!" Whilst kneeling down and quickly shoving one of the creased notes under his blanket and cardboard box. My swift sudden movement didnt allow the man time to register or have the time to reject the cash. I ran towards the bus my heart beating fast. I felt like I was in a race. I was running towards my freedom! Finally, after so many years of being beaten, yelled at, starved, teased even returned like a damaged toy, I had survived. I had finally reached it! FREEDOM!!! I screamed at the top of my lungs whilst throwing my arms up in the air! As I jumped on the first step of the slowly moving bus, I realized I was actually crying and I could faintly hear my new friend in the background; "You go get them girl!! You go get em! You go get em!" The doors shut behind me and I could no longer hear those words. Looking around through my blurry eyes, I was thankful to see enough vacant seats to be able sit alone. Alone was exactly what I needed for now. I stared out the window as the bus reversed. Lovers/ families blowing kisses to their ones left behind crying. Others waving frantically. I stared at the raindrops sliding down the glass and I saw the homeless man still limping towards us. He was waving the money in his hand; but as the bus driver had already executed a three point turn and was pressing the accelerator combined with the rain it was too blurry to see him clearly. "Goodbye." I whispered at the wet window, pressing my forehead harder up against glass. A few seats ahead a little girl started singing the wheels on the bus go round and round, directly across the aisle was a country dressed middle aged couple who began sharing a power energy bar with the little girl's mother. Behind them, two young lovers listening to music via their earbuds, whispering and exchanging kisses. The driver started his short announcement- Howdie folks welcome aboard! Thank you for choosing Greyhound. For your comfort all our leather seats recline with a press of the button located to your right side. Above you have both a light and air conditioning as well overhead storage. Free WiFi and personal power outlets each seat. As this is an overnight journey feel free to use the onboard restroom located towards the back of the bus however we will be making 2 short stops. That's right folks.thats mainly for me to stop revive surviveand stretch my legs- I don't have as much extra leg room as you folks ok but on a more serious note : those of you who want a snack or smoke or.even restroom we shall be stopping for 30 mins each time. Expected time of arrival will be approx 6.45am tomorrow. Please remember to respect others. I will be switching the main lights off at 9pm. Please do not hesitate to come talk to me if you need anything. I cautiously looked behind me, most seats were vacant. I opened my bag decided to eat a biscuit and closed my eyes. It felt so good to close my weary eyes. I knew that soon I would fall asleep and hopefully when my lids opened I would be in Texas. I had been dreaming years about this and had I not been so exhausted I definitely would have been way too nervous possibly excited to sleep. I slept so peacefully which I thought strange since I squashed myself into two seats and the ride was quite bumpy still it sure did beat all my foster homes. I still couldn't believe how much I was made to suffer. Most of my past consisted of being yelled at or returned back to orphanage. When I was actually handed out to foster homes I kept thinking finally this will be my forever home. I always tried my best to brush my hair, brush my teeth, pinched my cheeks to give me a.healthy glow. I thought if my laces were done up, socks pulled up, hair ribbon tied up neatly, I would be loved more and adop Boy was I wrong! The only time I felt loved was once when I remember my then foster family had received a brown envelope with a.cheque inside. Apparently there was a small mix up and the government had paid my family more. That was a very happy memory for me. Mummy number 5 even baked cookies for us. Well my step brothers and sisters and I got to each cut a slice of the ready made dough. I laughed out loud as we kids thought it was salami and we joked with mum that it was meat and how would it possibly cook into a cookie. The driver picked up the walkie talkie thing and announced: "Howdy folks! a good morning to you all! Welcome, to the state of Texas. Shortly we will be arriving to Greyhounds Harrisburg Boulevard station. We hope you had a pleasant journey. A kind reminder to please take all personal belongings from above compartments. We thank you for choosing Greyhound and wish those of you travelling a happy stay. For those returning home welcome back home! I picked up my rubbish my packpack and made my way into the bus terminal I asked a lady behind the ticket desk some info. I was too broke to get a cab to the accomodation I had booked online weeks ago. At least that was one positive thing, all my accomodation was paid in full. I had drawn dots on a map that looked like half a star. My final destination was a job. The good news was I had a few weeks to travel around and see a few new places and that after what seemed an eternity of online interviews I had finally landed an amazing job. The bad news I barely had enough money so I would have to be extremely careful. Since we arrived at 6.55am I decided to walk to the cheapest accommodation I found and booked online. "It's not far honey. If you want I can give you a lift if you don't mind waiting till I clock off but you will have to hang around till 8.30am." I stared at her name badge and imagined her stabbing me in my neck after she had forced me to conduct s****l favours- I quickly shook my head smiled sweetly at her and thanked her for her kind offer. I walked outside sat on the bench and lit a ciggie. I didnt smoke often because mainly I didnt have enough cash but also causes it made me gag thinking of all the s****l abuse I had encountered. Today was different. I looked down at the stolen packet. The only thing I took from the Fosters. After almost 50 minutes walking I arrived at Red Carpet Inn & Suites. A rather nice surprise. I was expecting a stuffy ugly building but instead it was rather spaced out. It even had large grassed area. I got to the reception desk which was covered in different rates and legal information about rooms. A really nice man checked me in. He then handed me an envelope with Bluey written in deep purple ink. It was sealed with actual wax on the back. I couldn't make out the initials. S.T Um?! Thank you but would you mind telling me who left this? Is this from you guys? My receipt? The man looked baffled. No Miss Ahhh he started to shuffle paperwork. Excuse me for being so rude what is your surname. Bluey is my name. Yes your surname aka last name? Just Bluey. Ok Just Bluey. A man dropped it off after hours yesterday. Basically early this morning. The Reception man looked pleased with himself. That's it? What did he look like? My curiosity bursting! Dark suit. Tall. Apparently drop dead gorgeous. Arrived in black shiny limousine. His driver opened his door and as he stepped through our doors he took his hat off. He didnt stay long. You can see the security cam. My shift had ended my colleague Eve wrote all in the handover book. He tapped his fingers on a large emerald, green leather diary. Thank you perhaps a bit later on. I've had a really long journey and I really need to shower and maybe even take a short nap. The receptionist suddenly became like a hard statue his eyes widened and his voice had completely changed. He turned and faced Bluey. " You are MINE!!! You are my love! Mine forever! Get ready!" Clearly he was in some sort of trance. Hello? I clapped my hands and he looked at me as if nothing had just happened. I'm going to my room now could I please have my key? Yes of course. You are Number 12. Located first floor. Breakfast is included. Ice bucket machines are located on either side. Do you need any assistance with luggage?" he peered over the desk. "No thank you!". There is a pamphlet on: What to do see etc etc whilst you are here but in case you need anything just dial 9. I almost forgot can I also have a credit card , we won't charge. Yes of course I lied. Do you mind if I bring it down a bit later. I'm really tired right now. Sure sure! Ok well enjoy your stay with us and please allow me to give you a very quick tour on the way to your room. We have a swimming pool. Onsite restaurant and lounge. Onsite coin operated laundry. We have 100 rooms. Free WiFi for you. Also free transportation to certain destinations. You mean I could have hitched a ride from Greyhound bus terminal? Yes Ma'am! I tell you what...how's about I throw in a round trip to our local zoo. You pick the day and times. Wow! Yes! Yes please that would be awesome. Thank you so much sorry what's your name? Ben! Nice to meet you! Well we have arrived and between you and me don't ask me where the red carpet is. Also as we are extremely low occupancy due to current world crisis I've taken the liberty and upgraded you! Enjoy your stay with us Miss Bluey. He turned around and left me at my door. I was starting to realise that from the moment I had left my "home" everyone had been exceptionally nice to me. I looked around at my new temporary home. It was decent. I opened curtains and I had beautiful views of trees and a perfectly mowed grass lawn. King sized bed. Bathroom and my own verandah and a cute desk. I almost started to cry. This budget 2 star motel or Inn felt more like home than any of my previous addresses. A nasty memory of when I was younger flashed by. My foster parents had to throw my mattress away as it didnt pass the fire safety test. They actually forced me to sleep on the floor. It took them over 7 weeks to get a replacement. Even the dog had a more appropriate bed. And then the envelope caught my eye. I grabbed it and leaped onto my huge bed. I started to laugh hysterically the bed was not as soft as I thought it would be and I heard a loud crack noise. Oooookkkkkkeeeeyyyy! I said out aloud. I kept turning it over. Perfect cursive purple ink writing one side, hard dried wax Deep blood red in coloured, initialed on the seal on the back part. Wait! I squinted I thought it was where the card was made or one of those please recycle messaQ I kept flipping it over and over until I fell asleep. I must have been exhausted because I slept all day and when I did wake up I thought only a few hours had gone by. I was wrong! As soon as I pulled back the curtains the sky was dark and all the lights were on shining in various parts of the garden. I dialled 9. Hello can I please speak with Ben?" Good evening. I'm Evelyn unfortunately Ben left a few hours ago. His shift finished. He will be back tomorrow at 9am. Is there something I can assist you with? Oh I almost forgot Ben said for no one to disturb you so we didnt but you had a delivery. Would you like me to bring it to your room now? Or would you prefer to come collect or leave until morning. Ummm there must be some kind of mistake. A delivery for me?? Awkward silence. Evelyn yes could you please deliver to my room this evening whenever you are free to. That would be great! As soon as I put phone down I regret saying that to her. I knew I would have to tip her and I didnt really have extra cash. I quickly picked up phone dialled 9. Evelyn? Yes? Cancel bringing to my room. I'm coming myself. See you soon. Thankfully I was still.dressed. Ran down the stairs, past the vending machines and arrived at reception area. That was quick ! Evelyn went into the back office area and I was shocked.to see her come out with a huge bouquet of flowers which she placed on desk in front of me. She then dashed off and before I even opened my mouth to say thanks she came back holding a stack of glossy brightly coloured boxes. Thank you Evelyn I think I may actually need your help but I must confess I won't be able to tip you I said turning bright red with shame. What? No! Don't be silly. It's my job and my pleasure. ‌Finally alone in my room again. I was wondering who on earth sent flowers and boxes to me? It's was my birthday but no one even knew of my existence. Puta! w***e! Ah yeah Ah that's right! Slap me harder! Harder! I will be a good little boy for you! I could hear the bed hitting the wall and some sort of whip cracking noise. Obviously the room next to mine was occupied! I pressed my ear up against the wall trying to listen to more juicy s*x talk. Cont. ' To our dearest beloved daughter, Daughter?! Daughter?! I felt my heart stop. My hand trembling. Ok Blue baby you got this I whispered inside my mind. I stared up at the ceiling to stop myself crying and to gain a bit more courage to continue reading. Against our lawyers advice we decided to reach out to you now and not wait until your 30th birthday. We would very much like to meet with you. We understand this letter may come as a huge shock. We also understand if you wish to destroy this letter and forget you ever received anything from us. We also realise you may have many questions that require urgent answers and hopefully you will give us the chance to be able to meet with you in order to answer all your questions. If this is indeed the case, then it would be our pleasure for you to agree to meet with our trustworthy chauffeur. He will be waiting to pick you up on Wednesday 12th of June at 20.30pm. Car licence plates- Do not get into any other car or if approached by anyone please immediately call the number stored on mobile phone. ( What mobile phone I thought??!!). Please bring all your belongings. Your mother and I have been waiting a very long time for this moment. We respect your wishes if this is too sudden or if you wish for us to stay away we do however beg for your forgiveness and really hope to meet with you in two days time. Due to circumstances ( not trying to add pressure or force a decision to meet) but if your decision is to not meet; we need to disappear again but this time it will be for 48 human years. Ps the mobile phone is in one of the boxes. In case you have not opened yet, place box directly on open palm. Try to centre your palm in middle of box and then with the other hand hit the top of box. The contents of box two and three will only appear after you place palm and hit top. Prior to you doing this instruction boxes will appear empty. Pss because your mummy has red hair people started to call her Bluey in Australia. Long story which involves VB beer, an Irish pub in Australia and a large bunch of strangers we befriended. After many dinner parties she got stuck with Bluey as a nick name. We decided to pass name to you. Your real name though is Blubelle Tatsuo Drakoni. We love you so much! Love Mummy & Daddy Iris Antoinette Drakoni ( Bluey) & Sir Yorgios Drakonis ( George) I held the letter tightly and read it another few times. I then placed it down on the desk and suddenly a few gold sparks flew up into the air and the whole letter just blew up into thin air. Was I dreaming? Did someone drug me? Did I hallucinate the boxes and the letter? I quickly went to the other side of room where I had placed the boxes and there they were. Ok I thought let's see if that whole palm hit top of box instruction thingy really worked?