The Book Keeper's Heart

In the moments after her fiancé broke up with her, Nandini Varma wasn't sure what to do or how to really react. Abhi's eyes were trained on her, unwilling to allow her to escape to another room. In her head, she went through the events that led up to it. Her cousin's wedding had just wrapped up, with people going to lunch or staying to bless the couple. She was helping the bride with her hairdo, since some of the flowers had started to fall out. Reina, the bride, started joking with her. "Soon it'll be you," she'd said, snorting a laugh. "Then you'll have to deal with a thick sari, too much jewelry and endless scriptures." As Nandini babbled a no, someone pulled on her arm abruptly, ripping her away from her cousin. Abhi dragged her to a side full with Indian Aunties. Instantly, she knew something was wrong. His usually calm eyes were darting about, as though he were worried who would see, and he started fiddling with his hands, putting them in his pockets and taking them out. He was also sweating profusely, and she could see sweat stains through his thick Indian kurta, even though the venue was well conditioned. "I can't do this anymore," he started, voice cracking. "I'm sorry, but there's someone else I love." She had thought it was one of his cruel pranks; he'd done things like this before, saying hurtful, sardonic things, only to say it was a joke and that he loved her. But seeing the nervousness on his face and the scared glances, a drop in her stomach told her otherwise. "I only stayed because I knew you'd be hurt." That can't be true. Okay, there he can stop. Because I know that's not true. He had hurt her many times before, playing on her insecurities and getting the most out of her because he knew she was scared of what other people would think if they broke up. Both of their families were well known in the social circles. A sense of relief mixed with embarrassment propagated across her body and she crossed her arms. Finally she found her voice, whispering painfully, "I only ask you to be honest with me...how long have you felt like this?" "For the past few months. We've gotten serious." I wish you could've just said something," she said; her voice cracked as tears forced themselves to her eyes. There's nothing I can do if you're in love with someone else. Several aunties nearby clucked eagerly and when Nandu glared at them, their eyes darted away, staring intently at a beautiful floral piece. Pain burned in the back of her throat and tears threatened to come out. Before she could say anything hurtful to him, Nandu walked away, desperately trying not to fall apart in front of her family. When she found her parents, they were jabbering away with their old friends, laughing at the nearby children's antics. Plates of food were spread across the tables, but for once, she wasn't hungry. The smells now made her nauseous, even though many of them were her favorites. All the plates of bhajis, samosas, sambar and naan, as well as the bowls of desserts now made her want to retch. Everything seemed faded, almost as if she were walking in a cloud. When she approached her mom, she had to whisper, because if she spoke louder, she'd burst into tears. "Ma, can we talk?" She tugged on the sari her mom wore, garnering looks from everyone at the table. Normally her mom wouldn't have come with her, but she must've seen something in Nandu's eyes and got up, leaving without an apology to her group. They were well away from everyone when her mom asked, "What's wrong?" "Abhi broke it off. Said he loves someone else. They've been together for some time." The tears were backing up in her eyes and she pinched herself in an effort to hold them back. Her mom emitted a sharp hiss, but Nandu continued, not breaking eye contact with the floor, "I told him if that was what he wanted, then so be it. I-I...People heard though. He did it where others were listening. He's felt like this for some time apparently." "Are you okay with this?" Calm and cool, her mom never showed emotion, even if she did sound horrified for her daughter, and she continued to lead Nandu away from the venue. She wasn't sure if she was okay. Part of her was sad, and heartbroken...but there was a sense of relief that she was sure meant something. After all, no woman who had had her engagement broken off felt relieved. She also felt ashamed, but that stemmed from the fact that everyone in both of their families knew the two were to be married, and standing in a wedding, having to face most of those people, she wasn't sure what to do or say. Rather, it felt like her heart had been run over for some time, but it still felt at peace. That relief felt like a small sliver of lighting on the darkest nights, when the moon fought to shine through. They were on the other side of the hotel, near a pool when she broke into tears, unable to hold them back from overthinking. Pool goers stared oddly as the younger woman collapsed against the older one, choking on tears, shuddering as the hiccups came, drowning out her apologies. "Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't think this would happen, and I don't know what to do now. Everyone's going to be asking questions and I don't have answers and-and what am I supposed to do?" Her mom repeated her question, calmly and surely, "Are you okay with this?" Nandini steadied her breath, trying hard to ignore the unconcealed looks of worry from the people nearby, but failing miserably. "I don't know...I'm sad but I feel relieved. My heart hurts but I also feel ashamed." Everything had to be the woman's fault. People would blame her, and then other men would find her unattractive because she'd had a broken engagement. It was like rolling down a mountain's slope. When she raised her eyes, she was dumbfounded to find her mom smiling softly, almost sadly. Her eyebrows were twisted up and a painful look had settled in the older woman's eyes. Her mom sighed. "I know it's too early to say this...very early. But don't feel ashamed, when you've done nothing wrong. I did have an off feeling about him, considering how controlling he was of you, especially when we were around. And I know you know because I spoke to you about it." Nandini blubbered an apology, but her mom was having none of it, continuing with, "It'll be hard, but don't blame yourself. Give it some time to cool down, if you feel he's mistaken then talk to him about it." Truth was, she didn't want to talk to him about it. Something about feeling relieved told her to just leave him alone and let it go. If only it were as easy as that. ~~~ Ryan Callahan was not having anything that came close to a decent day. First, the moving company lost his stuff. Then they found it, only to drop it off at the wrong complex. Apparently, phones weren't useful for finding places after all. Then the apartment he was supposed to move into got trashed by the previous tenant, who had been kicked out. The owner hadn't even bothered to check, she just handed him the key and he came right back down after viewing it and demanded another one to a different apartment. She hastily gave it, looking very much like a startled, fat skunk, with that stripe of white that ran across her black hair. Maybe he shouldn't have been so harsh with her, but he was so tired and done with everything that he didn't care. The next apartment was a lot better, and smelled clean, lightly of fake, chemical lemon. The living room and bedroom were wide and spacious and immediately, he flopped onto the bed, bouncing lazily. Outside the windows, he had a great view of a mini lake and playground. A chill tickled his nose and he sneezed, rattling the apartment. The weather outside was getting colder and colder as the days passed, as it encroached towards the end of the year. Leaves scraped the windows, as though trying to claw their way in, trying to escape their impending death. The moving company hadn't been kind to his fragile congratulations. The glass covers he'd used for his writing awards lay in shatters in their boxes. Fortunately, the papers themselves were undamaged. After putting up his books, he sat down on the bed and stared at them. His former career as a famous writer had never been revealed. No one would ever know that R.J. Cornwell, author of the Bandit series, would be joining a police force and had retired to a quiet small town. Hopefully, for the rest of his life. It wasn't as though he disliked writing. However, the deadlines, constant calls and meetings with higher-ups, and disagreements with his editors about what he wanted for his characters were too annoying. He'd gained enough money to live by himself for a while. Feeling a little adventurous, he walked outside to check out the town, after finally sorting through every box he had. Although it neared midnight, one restaurant's lights still blazed into the street, burning a bright spot into his eyes. The warmth inside the place was welcoming, especially since the air outside seemed to keep slapping his cheeks. He could feel them heating up slowly and pressed his hands against his face in an attempt to hasten it. It was a pretty restaurant, neatly decorated in varying shades of brown, accentuated with paintings that hung from some of the walls. The bar at the front held an impressive number of drinks, so much so he stood across from it, trying to take in all of them. "What can I get you, sir?" He started. So engrossed in the drinks he was, he failed to notice the woman standing nearby at a register. She had a pretty, playful smile, deeply tanned skin and brown hair. The blonde highlights running through it clashed with the lighting. Ryan recovered from his shock fast, saying the first thing that came to his mind. "Whichever craft beer you'd recommend. Are you still serving food?" "Yes, we are! Here's a menu." She handed him one, and he glanced through it. Burgers and fries were usually the safest option, so he went with that. The smell of fried food hit the pit of his stomach, which grumbled loudly in the silence. He was reminded of the fact that he hadn't eaten anything in almost twelve hours. Odd, what having a bad day can distract you from... The restaurant was large on the inside, something he hadn't expected when viewing it earlier. Booths lined every wall and tables dotted here and there. A wide stage in the back told him that bands could play here. He found it odd that no one was really there, but it was late at night. Most sane people would be tucked away in bed. The woman walked back, looking a bit odd with the overfilled dish. When she pushed the plate to him, he gaped at it. The burger was as big as his hand, taller than the ones he'd usually seen back home (and those were big...too big). Piled between the two buns was a fat patty, still dripping grease, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers and some sauce that he figured was a specialty. A mound of steak fries sat to the side, begging to be dipped into ketchup. The woman chuckled. "Too much to take in?" He licked his lips, eyes still stunned. "Nope. Nothing's too much for me." Then, he ate without stopping for a breather; the more bites he took, he couldn't hold back. When he finally came up for some beer, he was halfway through the burger, and almost done with the fries. "You really know how to make a burger." She grinned. "Thanks. You new to town? I haven't seen you here before." "I am, my name's Ryan. Yours?" "I'm Lily, Lily Flores. So Ryan, what're you doing out so late?" "I needed food and I just moved. This your restaurant?" "It is, it's my baby. We're more of Tex-mex, but my chef can pretty much make anything if he's given enough time. Which side of town you on?" "Apartments. They're really close to here actually, just a walk away, like that way." He pointed behind him. "Wait, close to here? Did you move into one of the apartments nearby? Or there's also condos too..." Her voice drifted off as she frowned, like thinking about something had confused her. "Yeah, the building next door. Lakewood? You know about them?" Her eyes brightened up and she pulled a stool across from him, on the opposite side of the counter. "Yeah! My friend and I live—" The door banged open and someone stomped in, sending shadows dancing near the entrance. Ryan's neck cracked as he swiveled around to look at the person. Crazy. That was his first impression of her. Her hair was all over the place, although contained, as though she'd had it done, but had walked through a windstorm. Loud panting noises were coming from her and the golden fabric surrounding her moved along like a cloud, floating swiftly to the movement of her legs. She huffed her way towards him and slumped into the high seat, burying her face against her hands. "Lil, get me some Mountain Dew. Please." Considering her incredulous entrance, he'd expected her to have a loud voice. It was anything but that: soft, somewhat feminine. Lily left her seat and went over to the fountain area, filling up a cup with a familiar yellow-green soda and pushed it across to the woman. He continued eating his burger but strained his ears to hear what they were saying. Lily waited until the other woman took a few sips. "How was the wedding?" "It went from great to horrible in a matter of a few minutes." She pushed back a sheet of hair and he finally saw her face. She was similar to Lily, although her skin was slightly darker than the owner's. Her hair was a dark black, highlighted only by the pale orange light swinging above. She had a round, cute face, with bright eyes and a nice mouth. "What happened?" Lily leaned forward and brushed hair out of the other woman's face. "Fiancé dumped me, right in front of a gaggle of aunties. I swear, there's only a few men out there that are good, the rest are horrible, egotistical hypocrites." Her voice cracked a bit as she wiped her eyes, and that was when he noticed she'd been crying. "Are you okay?" He wished he could've taken the words back. As soon as they escaped his mouth, tears formed in her eyes, turning her eyes into pools. ~~~ Thanks for reading this chapter!