Forgotten Promises

CHAPTER 3: ANASTASIA

I offered to feed him and as I hoped, he agreed. He used to like it back then, so I just thought it might help, or maybe I just wanted to because I've missed this. Him. Was it too soon to hope he'd remember something at all?

“Ooops! You got sauce on your cheek. Let me wipe that off,” I did, and I saw a flicker of recognition in his eyes then he smiled and looked at me with his piercing brown eyes and I blushed. A bit embarrassed, I asked “What?” avoiding his eyes.

“Nothing…much… just a flash. I couldn't make out the face, but I think it was yours… forget it, it doesn't matter.” He said dismissively.

“Nathaniel! I know that look! You shouldn't dismiss your little progress okay? It's okay to not understand anything right now! Take it one day at a time. We are here to walk you through this phase. You are going to be fine!”

“Why are you so sure about that? What if I never get any of my memories back! What if I never get my life back? This whole thing is so freaking insane.” He said through gritted teeth.

Although he wouldn't say what he saw, I think he was acting out of fear or maybe frustration. It was just heartbreaking to see him like this. I could only stare in silence. It was so hard playing the strong one.

I reached out to hold his hand and comfort him, but he withdrew. Damn! It did something to my heart, the feeling was so familiar. Rejection. I could only swallow hard and I slowly withdrew too.

“I'm sorry to take out my frustration on you. I'll just head back to my room before I say or do something stupid. Thanks for the food Anastasia.” I simply nodded. He got up and left. Again.

Why did it matter though? It's not like this was the first time he was doing this. I thought to myself. This was going to be harder than I anticipated. It's time I accept that the version of Nathaniel that was sanely in love with me left five years ago when he didn't show up at our wedding. Supposed wedding!

With the sting of rejection, I went into my room and cried myself to sleep, wishing I didn't agree to this whole thing in the first place. This version of Nathaniel that doesn't recognise me is going to be a difficult task which needs my emotions out of the way.

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NATHANIEL

“I'm yours now and always Nathaniel and I mean it beyond words. I am your friend. Let me be your friend. It's okay to tell me about your struggles or whatever troubles you.” She said, sitting on my lap and stroking my hair gently.

“I know. I just don't want you all caught up in my family affairs and work stuff. Babe, it's depressing, trust me. There are things I need to figure out for the sake of my future with you.” I said to her hoping she'd drop it and just kiss my troubles away.

“You promised to let me in, remember? You promised to talk to me about anything. How am I supposed to help you feel better if you don't fill me in on what's going on with you?” She looked really worried and I hate seeing her like this. So I could not help but wrap her in a hug and kiss her forehead.

“You worry too much! You can help by kissing me and taking my mind off everything.” I planted a soft kiss on her lips and she responded by deepening the kiss which drives me wild every single time. She knows it. For someone who doesn't want to engage in premarital s*x, she was definitely not helping our ‘situation’.

The sound of my 6.00am alarm woke me up. I was having a dream! Or maybe a memory? I can't even tell the difference as it is, which I find very frustrating. But what I knew for certain was the splitting headache definitely had plans to mess my day up.

There was a notification pop up and I hesitated to check, thank God I did. It was a text from Anastasia.

'Don't forget our walk today, you owe me. Ensure to read a book after your aerobics. I picked some out for you already, they are on your doorstep. I hope you like them. I'll see you at breakfast… Anastasia.’

The thought of her name made me remember the dream or memory I had about her. To be sure which one it really is, I'd have to talk to her about it no matter how weird or uncomfortable it may sound. Then I remembered how I was told I had hurt her and I felt selfish for wanting to gain clarity about the dream or memory. I guess I'll have to be a selfish ass then because this isn't something I can keep to myself. I just hope she doesn't hate me for this.

“It's really good to see you join us for breakfast Nathaniel. You look well and happy.” My mother said trying to make a conversation because everyone - Anastasia and I barely looked at each other. Actually, she wouldn't look at me and I can tell because I haven't stopped stealing glances at her since she walked down to join us for breakfast. I guess she had her reasons.

“Thanks mother, don't tell me I was a sad person before now?” I teased.

"Not exactly my dear. I'm just really glad to see that your health has improved greatly.” She said, then noticed Anastasia barely eating her meal and sort of lost in thought. "Is everything okay Anastasia dear?” Mother asked, concerned.

"I'm okay. Everything is fine. I'm not exactly a breakfast person.” I think she wasn't telling the truth, somehow, I could tell she wasn't being completely honest.

“You seemed lost in thought Anastasia." I said even though she still wouldn't look at me. Why the hell was she cranky this morning?

“I'm fine. Uhmmm, I think I'll just head back to my room or something. Please excuse me." Then she got up and hurriedly went back to her room. I was about to chase after her almost immediately when mother called my name.

“Nathaniel. Please make sure she's fine. I need to speak to both of you at dinner. It's pretty serious.” She seemed nervous. My mother is almost never nervous. Not knowing what the problem could be, I just nodded in agreement and went upstairs to check on Anastasia.