Chasing Shadows

Summer was just starting to end and the nights were cool and brisk. The sun was just starting to set, the glowing edge of that great orb sliding behind the craggy, rough race of the mountain, bathing the lonely hotel building in a warm red glow. Idly I twisted a lock of my long red curls around my finger and watched the sun sink behind the mountain, as if devoured by it ragged edges as the sky slowly grew dark. For me it was a day like any other. My mother and I had gotten to town about six months ago and quickly found work at a small hotel on the edge of town. We usually ended up at places like this, motels or dinners, small family owned places that took pity on my mother and I. Mom had a smile that could charm the last pennies from a miser and it was never long before we landed somewhere safe. This town was a small nothing of a place right along the freeway like almost every other place I’d seen since 13 and running from our home. Mother never explained why we had to leave or what we were running from, only the importance of not getting caught. As a werewolf we always had to be careful, to keep hidden, it was a lesson every child learns early, but for me, my mom treated the lesson like it was holy scripture. We always hid, even between us we rarely spoke of what we were. Mother generally repressed her wolf save for the full moon but those days she would lock herself away or disappear on a “trip”, but even I was not welcome then. I often wondered if mother hated what we were and that why we ran? Or maybe she did something wrong? Thirteen wasn’t so small a child but even five years later, picking apart those moment, I couldn’t figure out what we were running from. She told me we’d been banished once when I first pressed her but the words hung hallow and empty. Something to say rather then nothing at all which was often her preference. My memories from home were good ones filled with laughter and warmth. I remember playing with the other were kids, large fires burning late into the night as the adults turned and ran, large gatherings for celebrations, feasts and holidays, the warm glow of being enveloped by a family. I remember feeling safe. Safety had become a luxury since we left. There were dark moments too, ones I did my best not to look at and they were indistinct after years of repression, glossed over by a glow of idolized home. If I closed my eyes I could still vividly remember the night we left. I had been sleeping only to be shaken awake by my mother before she pressed a slender, cold, finger to my lips, commanding silence. Eyes wide with a mixture of fear and unease i simply nodded and sat up, watching my mothers back as she grabbed my back pack and tossed it to me, “pack only clothes, you have five minutes, don’t make a sound” her voice was like cold steel and sent ice through my veins. Mother wasn’t the warmest of people but still, that tone scared me. I was packed and out the back door, sprinting across the open field feet behind my mother within ten minutes, everyone I’d ever know sleeping soundly within the houses all around us. She lead us down ally’s and side streets to the interstate where she flagged down a ride and we hitchhiked to our first nothing town where we made some money but left before anyone could get too interested. For nearly five years that’s how it had been, running and hiding, from who or what, I still didn’t know. The sun had finally disappeared behind the mountains and the sky grew dark and with it a chill crept in. I smiled as the cool tendrils of air caressed my bare arms. The buildings automatic lights turned on and in a flash I thought I saw something. Sharp eyes turned in the direction of the far corner of the empty parking lot, looking for something. For a long moment I stared, not sure if it had just been a trick of the lights or if I’d actually seen something. Something. Unease settled low in my belly and I felt torn between matching over there and seeing for myself and the rules. The rules. A heavy sigh passed my lips and instead of looking around I went inside the building, to the brightly lit lobby and the desk where I sat idle most days, just waiting for someone to come in. I sat behind the desk and spun a paper clip across the surface of my desk, mind filled with meanderings and memories. As my birthday drew closer a part of me, a big part yearned to go home. I missed feeling like a part of something bigger, I’d felt alone, adrift, since fleeing and no matter how many friends I made or new people I met, nothing seemed to ease that longing. I knew if I was home this birthday would be the one everyone celebrated. This would be the year I became a real member of the pack, the first time I could actually fully shift, the first time I’d be considered. I could remember gossiping with my pack mates Amy and Nina, talking about our first shifts and who our mates might be. Little girls with wild dreams. How different I thought it would be. I spun my paper clip again, watching the slow rotation wondering if mother would guide me through my first shift or disappear like she seemed so prone to doing with anything wolf related. It was frustrating. She acted as if I could forget. I’d never even shifted and I couldn’t forget. I could feel her under my skin, her strength and fearlessness, the reckless desire to run wild and free. I flicked the paperclip again, as I imagined running wild in the woods around the mountain, cool air rippling through my fur for the first time and a chill ran over my skin. The paperclip spun across the table and landed on the floor just as the doors opened and a very tall, broad shouldered man walked in. His back was to me at first but even so, something about him seems familiar. “Hi, can I help you?” I chirped in my best hostess voice only to have the words die on my lips as the man turned around, his sapphire blue eyes collided with my green eyed gaze and I knew everything was about to change.