Silent Prejudice

2

“s**t, Isa.” He hurries over to inspect the injury. “You should have told me about your mom. I could have helped.” I breathe deeply with relief at successfully dodging further interrogation but stiffen at his nearness. “I didn’t need help.” “Maybe, but there’s also no reason for you to deal with something like that alone. You know I’d keep a secret for you. Hell, there’s plenty I don’t tell my family.” He gingerly lifts my ankle and rolls the joint in a small circle. “It’s definitely sprained, but I don’t think anything’s broken.” “Yeah, it’s already starting to feel better.” Nevio peers back in the direction we came with a frown. “That may be, but there’s no way you’re walking all the way home on it.” Nodding to himself, he slips an arm beneath my knees and tries to scoop me up in a bridal carry, but I screech and flail. “What the hell are you doing?” My response is a gross overreaction, but it can’t be helped. I’m petrified of him thinking there’s something between us or doing anything that he might interpret as encouragement. He releases me to my feet and gapes at me as though I’ve gone batshit crazy. “I was going to carry you to the road, but I suppose you can walk in pain if you’d prefer that to being near me.” “No! It’s not that. I just…” God, how do I explain this? “You just surprised me.” I hold out my arm to urge him closer. “If you’ll let me lean on you, that should be plenty of support.” Doubt twists his lips, but he returns to my side. “I figured someone could bring a car around to pick us up from there.” I nod and slide my left hand around to cup his shoulder from behind, using his solid mass as a crutch. His right arm supports me from behind, keeping me pressed against his side. We take a few steps to test our system, and I minimize my hobbling so that he doesn’t insist on carrying me. “My mom could probably come pick us up,” he offers while we ease over the uneven terrain. “But if you’d rather try to get ahold of someone from your house, we can do that instead.” “No, your mom would be great if she’s available.” I need to be alone to process everything, and that’ll never happen if my family gets wind of my panicked flight. The questions would be endless. We make it to the road in less time than I expect. I suppose I’m owed at least one shred of good fortune in the midst of my nuclear meltdown of a life. Elena brings the car around and studies me with curious eyes but doesn’t pry for answers. She drives me to my parents’ cottage and agrees to tell my mom that I went home with a headache. They will be far less curious about me going home sick than if they knew I’d twisted my ankle after freaking out and sprinting down to the lake. Yet again, Elena is my saving grace. A beacon of kindness and understanding piercing the darkness. I may not agree with her choices in life, but I find it hard to fault her. Each of her thoughts and deeds is motivated by the purest of intentions. I offer her a genuine thanks before allowing Nevio to help me to the cottage door. “You need me to get you set up inside? I can put together an ice pack and grab you some ibuprofen.” I smile and make sure to leave a buffer of space between us. “Thank you, Nev, but I’m really okay.” He lifts his chin and peers down at me skeptically. “If you say so. Make sure to rest, and we can talk more about your mom later. Don’t think I’m letting that slide.” He leans in before I can stop him and drops a kiss on my forehead. “Text me if you need anything.” The touch of his lips on my skin is like a scarlet letter condemning me. A brother’s kiss isn’t necessarily inappropriate, but in this instance, anything at all between us is too much because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t intend his touch in a brotherly fashion, and it makes my skin crawl. He glides down the front steps without a clue. My eyes seek out Elena, who watches us from the car. Her face is inscrutable, keeping me in the dark about what she might think of Nevio’s affection toward me. Does it bother her to see us together? Would she consider telling Nevio about her affair in light of his renewed interest in me? Or will she concoct another reason to send him away and maintain the masquerade she’s constructed? I have no answers, but one thing is certain. I absolutely must shut down his advances immediately. It’s crucial that he have no lingering hope about anything forming between us. If he simply knew the truth, everything would be so much easier, but Zeno was clear on that point. If I break his trust and share a secret he’s guarded for half his life, I’ll risk losing him forever. I’m not sure he’d ever forgive me. Twenty-four hours earlier, that might not have bothered me. But now? Everything has changed. Once I’m alone inside, I grab a bag of frozen broccoli from the freezer because I don’t have the mental or physical energy for a baggie and ice. The running wore me out, but it’s the emotional exhaustion that leaves me boneweary. Each step up to my bedroom requires a pep talk and burst of energy that I can only summon with a sheer force of will. A desperation to hide myself away. After closing the bedroom door behind me, I crawl onto the bed and prop myself against the pillows Gia has artfully arranged against the headboard. She makes the bed each morning like clockwork. Mom never required us to make our beds, so I’m not sure why Gia does it. Routine? A sense of order? Whatever the reason, the bed is made, and I don’t feel like undoing it. I toss the bag of broccoli over my ankle and allow my body to sink into the blue and white quilted bedding. I wish my thoughts were so easily subdued. My eyes lose focus as I stare out the window and think of my father. The man I’ve idolized my entire life has been the measuring stick I compare all others to. I’ve only recently learned how loveless my parents’ marriage has been, and now I have to adjust my image of him again to include the taint of infidelity. I’m old enough to understand that no one is perfect, but this is my daddy. The pedestal I’ve crafted for him is exceptionally tall. Leaving Mom would have been one thing, but cheating on her is another. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Nevio and I are not even six months apart in age. No matter how things went down, that fact doesn’t paint my father in a flattering light. Mom may make me crazy, but even she doesn’t deserve that kind of betrayal.