Silent Prejudice

22

This can’t be happening. If Liv is pregnant with Nevio’s child, that would mean they’ve been having s*x since … practically since he came home for the funeral. I think back to her disappearing from the lunch that day and recall all the times since that she wasn’t around. When she said she’d gone out with Nevio, it never occurred to me she’d been hanging out with him for weeks already. It certainly never registered that they might have already been having s*x. Holy s**t. She has no idea she’s pregnant with her half brother’s child. I place my hand over my mouth to keep back the bile as Mom joins us in the kitchen. “You look awfully pale, Isa,” Mom says. “Did you get a touch of Livy’s stomach bug?” “That would be tough to do, considering it’s not a stomach bug,” Liv says proudly. She waits dramatically for Mom to give her full attention. “I’m pregnant, Mama. Nevio and I are going to have a baby.” My sister grins exultantly. Mom’s jaw drops, and for a second, I wonder if she knows the implications. Then she’s jumping up and down and crushing Livia in a congratulatory hug. She has no idea.

So many f*****g secrets, and now look where we are. Anger and adrenaline buzz through my veins. I have to do something. I have to tell someone. I could call Zeno. He definitely needs to know, but this has snowballed beyond the point of return. This isn’t just about protecting his family’s honor anymore—this is beyond catastrophic—and it’s past time for my father to know the truth. If that angers Z, then I’ll deal with him later. “Where’s Dad?” I blurt harshly, dousing their reverie. Mom and Livia look at me quizzically. “Why?” Mom asks. “What’s gotten into you?” “Just tell me where the f**k Dad is!” I scream, slapping my hand on the table. I’ve completely lost my mind, and I don’t have a single f**k to give. My sister is pregnant with our brother’s child. There is only so much a person can take, and I have pushed well beyond that limit. OceanofPDF.com Mom’s eyes bulge at my outburst. “He was meeting the gardener this morning. He left a half hour ago.” I run upstairs, grab my phone, and slide on my tennis shoes. I don’t mess with socks or take time to put on my bra. Instead, I bolt down the stairs and out the back door, completely ignoring Mom’s and Livia’s gaping stares. The morning dew permeates my thin lounge pants as I jog through the knee-high grass on my way to Hardwick. There’s a narrow path worn into the dirt where we always walk, but the tall blades of grass still arc over to graze across my shins. Once I’m on the open lawn where the grass becomes manicured and free of trees, I run for the front of the house. Dad is talking to a younger man near one of the many flower beds. His face hardens the second he sees me running over, and he quickly ends his conversation, striding toward me to close the distance between us. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I glance at the gardener, my chest heaving with exertion. The man is out of earshot, but to be safe, I lean close and speak as softly as my screaming lungs will allow. “I didn’t want to tell you that I knew because Zeno asked me not to tell anyone, but Livia just announced that she’s pregnant, Daddy, and I don’t know what to do.” As soon as the words tumble out, I know they don’t make sense. Dad’s brow furrows, his eyes growing impossibly squinty. “You’re going to have to slow down and explain. I’m not following you. Livy’s … pregnant?” I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. “I know that you and Elena had an affair and that Nevio is your son. I found out that day last week when I went home sick. I wasn’t so much sick as upset—not at you,” I hurry to explain. “Just about everything. I said some awful things to Zeno, but we’re mending that. It’s beside the point. The point is, Livia announced that she’s pregnant with Nevio’s baby. Daddy, what do we do? She has no idea he’s her brother.” Dad’s eyes drift sadly toward the stone fortress that is Hardwick. “That boy always was too clever for his own good,” he muses quietly before turning back to me. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this, Lulu. We’ve already talked about how my relationship with your mother hasn’t been all that great. Not long after Gia was born, I started spending time with Elena. She was so lonely. Their relationship was primarily entered into for strategic reasons—a sort of marriage of convenience. He needed a wife and family, but the two were never truly in love. His devotion was always to the organization. He’d spend weeks at a time in the city, and poor Elena was so young and lost. We connected in a way I’ve never experienced with anyone else.” His voice is tender when he speaks of her, and I wonder if he’s still in love with her. Could that adoration for her be the reason he’s never left Hardwick? I try to be patient as I listen. The information is fascinating, but it doesn’t change the catastrophe we’re facing. “I have no good excuse for what happened next. There was a brief time when I was torn between two houses. When I learned that I was expecting children from two women at the same time, I was so ashamed. After that, I tried to keep my relationship with Elena platonic, though I wasn’t perfect by any means. The one thing I did right was going to the doctor before you were even born to get a vasectomy. I didn’t know where life would take me, but one thing was for certain, I wasn’t having any more children. I went back to the doctor three times to make sure it wasn’t a possibility. For a time, Elena made a push to strengthen her relationship with Silvano, so I did the same with your mother. When she became pregnant with Livy, though, I knew that I wasn’t the only one who had strayed. I never told her that I knew. Who was I to judge her? And besides, there was no point confronting her. Elena would never divorce Silvano, and I didn’t ever want to leave Elena. If your mother and I separated, she likely would have had to find another place to live, taking you girls with her. That wasn’t an option. And as a single man, spending time with Elena would be inappropriate. The way things evolved sounds messy, but it worked. At least, I thought it did. I’m starting to realize how wrong I’ve been.” He peers at me warily as if waiting for me to condemn him.