DON'T MAKE ME SPEAK

Every day, I sit and stare into space like I could carve a life out of it. If I could… I would. Because the one I had? It ended the day my mother died. My name is Tera now. It used to be Alexandra. But no one I know who called me that is really alive anymore. Doesn't matter anyway. And before you ask—yes… I remember everything. ‎___ ‎ ‎Mom please don’t forget the dress today, you promised you’d go shopping with me, I say with a cute pout of my lips that’s become habit whenever I ask for something. Next weekend was my senior year dinner party…or prom, whichever they’d call it. I still hadn’t picked out a dress cause my mom was too busy but today we would hit the boutique before getting home. ‎ ‎I get out the car following towards where my 2 friends aria and pat yell my name waving furiously like we haven’t seen in years…we saw yesterday though, but whatever, I love them. Today was our final exam, the last one we’d be writing as seniors before graduating and headed for a future in college or whatever we had planned out. My friends and I filled out the same college cause we’ve never really been separated since we became the best of friends. ---- ‎ ‎Its been 2 hours already. We’ve been seated for almost an hour writing, I had just the slightest idea of what I was putting down. Did I read? Yes. Was I doing good? Absolutely not. I wasn’t really the smart one in this group but I tried on a usual basis, I'd probably get a C if at all. Three damned hours later I was stretching my sore limbs and cracked ass from sitting long on those hard wooden panels…apparently the school doesn’t believe in comfort. ‎ ‎How was the exam at your end Alexa? Pat asks. I wave the question off cause I truly didn’t have good news about it. Aria, pat and I talk for a few minutes before their dad picks them up. Hope your dress is gonna be drop dead Alexa, they both smirk at me. You know David is gonna be staring all night. I burst out a laugh following them as they leave. Sure, I’ll make sure I’m his only distraction that night. By the way David is my secret, not so secret boyfriend. My mom doesn’t know about him…yet, probably never but who cares. ‎ ‎I dial my mom’s phone and she picks up on d last ring…"on my way sweetie, there’s just traffic".. ‎Ok. ---- A couple of minutes later my mom and I walk into TRUST. ‎ ‎I try on this pink dress, it was gorgeous but what can I say, pink was never really my favourite,not really a girly girl here. ‎Blue, then red, then white, even purple but I still hadn’t found THE dress. I’m already sulking cause my friends have the perfect dress but I haven’t even seen s**t. ‎Its okay baby, there’s a lot to try on, my mom coos from afar. ‎The attendant shows me another collection but I’m still dissatisfied with the fittings, till I come across this black dress. Silky smooth material with the perfect amount of shine and two devil high slits showing my caramel skin at each side. Cute bust cut and a lace back to snatch d waist. I’m in love. I try it on and damn right did I make the right choice. ‎150 thousand bills later I’m throwing my bag in the back seat along with my jewelry, purse and strap heels. Thank you mum I love it. She flashes a smile at me and turns on the engine. ‎ ‎We sing along to the song blasting through the speakers and laugh about something I can’t remember, a loud horn pulls us back to reality as my mom steps on the break and I’m nearly thrown forward if not for the seat belt as she comes to an abrupt halt. I open my eyes, scared, breathing like there little oxygen and thank goodness it was just a warning call. We didn’t hit anything or any one. She apologizes to the older man on the side way who angrily drives past, seems like we almost hit him. What a near miss. My heart pounds violently in my chest as my eyes manage to control clear vision. ‎ ‎A few minutes at the red light and we’re on the way again. Carefully this time. ‎ ‎We were almost home and my mom had a late emergency appointment so she had to rush. Immediately she speeds up, and in the next second a large truck curves into our way.