Realization

He was not sure that she would replace me or not but I was sure from the beginning that He can't replace that place in my heart that I've given to him. It was blind slowly he begain to tell me truth but he had already made me trust less well... even though He and me were in relationship but deep down I couldn't forget about him! The memories were keep coming into my mind the days we hang on on calls, the chat's, playing games together, making fun of each other, sharing our problems. we were so close that everyone could barely tell that we're couples but we were not in any relationship. when his friends and sister used to tease him by my name I thought he also liked me just shy to say but I was wrong he never liked me. I did my best to get his attention making him comfortable trying to get his close but as always I forget pretty girls always wins.He was in search of a beautiful girl with great personality who could fulfill his all compliment so it was worthless to try cause I was just a dumb girl loving a guy who really don't know that I exited! So I gave up on him. I tryed to move on from him but I couldn't it was very hard to cause I was obsessed with him my heart totally belong to him. I was weird, annoying and overthinker that no one could never understand my behavior. Eventually I thought I should forget him so I couldn't take that love I gave him so I must replaced him. I know it's wrong to use someone just to forget another one but there was no option for me . what can I do over myself? I tryed my best gave my all loyalty to that person which was started with a lie relationship. He makes me happy, cared about me Alot like he was the best guy that every girl should deserve it but not me I was not right for him. I was not good enough to make him happy. He tryed his best and gave his all but somewhere his efforts keep reminds me about him. I was always scared to tell him about my past . I keep thinking what would he think about me if he knews it? I never told him and I know it's my mistake. He's cute act, he's voice, his behaviors, the way he talks everytime it reminds me of him. I can't stop thinking for it! He gave his all heart to me and I've already gave my all heart to him. I doubt myself that am I cheating on him? but there's no was I was with also I was cheating on him with the feelings I have for him. He thinks that I am the one for him and I think he's the one for me. Whenever I start thinking about him here it comes a different feeling from inside the heart. His beautiful eyes, the dimples on his chick's that melt my heart everytime. I can't prefer to loose him so I never told him. Difference is that I'm talking about the two person one who love me another who I love.. but I can't do this anymore how could I play with a guy who loves me Alot? so we ended up. We all understand the feelings but we all were so stupid. I lost someone who loves me more than anything and He lost someone who can do anything for him. I still do have feeling for him when I see him afar with his girl I feel jealous. whenever he posted his girl deep down my heart still hurts well I'll be loving him forever from afar the day I move on maybe that'll be the last day of my life as people say some people can be in your heart but not in your life. I still visit his home but never go for a talk. I was dumped by him so there was no meaning for meeting him. I don't know why am I falling for him this much? didn't he dumped me? did he even recognize my efforts? did he ever cared about me? nah.. never but why am I deeply in love with him? I don't have any rights to say that all cause I've also not recognize that guy effort towards me. I rejected every guy who proposed me just for him. just to hear his voice I played game till midnight so I could sleep with peace after hearing his voice. eventually I was deeply in love with his voice. The memories still flashes in my head which I could never forget it. He was the reason I started talking to Moon. I share my every feelings what I feel about him with the moon and Moon keep listening silently. In my every wish I always asked for him but who knows that's all fake Nothing goes through fairy tail with a happy ending. shooting stars are fake. and the fact that when people wants something truly with heart even the universe helps you to get it. Am I thinking alot? well well some facts are still fake. I wish I could make my imagination real but as I said Nothing goes through fairy tail. He's not with me but he'll always be with me in my imagination.uhh what a relief finally he's mine. I wish anime world exist it cause in anime at least they are able to move on and have a better life. But as the reality we all are side character in someone's life. we get rejected from someone. we reject people for someone. Just as said love should be in our destiny to get it you can't find love by asking. Reality is unfortunate who knows in which time what happens? no one knows the future so keep moving forward with your own vibes. who knows who'll come in your life. Now we're strangers again but this time with the memories:)