C H A P T E R 1
There had been a time in my life where I would have believed that moments such as this one, were too perfect to be real. It felt like I was living in a fantasy, like I was watching myself through someone else's eyes. Gosh, I might go ahead and say that it felt like I was living someone else's life. This was the kind of thing that people read about in books and found themselves wondering whether or not they would actually experience them, or if the reality of life would keep it from happening. It was the kind of moment that would make ordinary people believe in the impossible.
My wedding day was the moment in question.
For months, I had imagined this exact morning. I had imagined waking up before my alarm, because I was too excited to sleep. I had imagined opening the curtains and seeing the sun shining down on me, like the universe itself was celebrating with me, like this day was a commemoration to everyone. The butterflies, the tears. I had imagined all of it, including the moment that I would finally walk down the aisle and see Daniel. My fiancé.
My best friend and confidant. And I was more than ready to spend the rest of my life with him.
I believed that I had thought of everything, right down to the smallest detail. The flowers, the music, the candles on the tables. My vows, personal and from the heart, that I had rewritten twenty times because no version of it had felt sufficient to declare just how much I loved him. I had spent years dreaming of finding someone like him, someone who supported and loved me in the way that he did. Someone who felt like home. And somehow, by some miracle, I had.
I stared at my reflection, feeling like I did not recognize the woman who was staring back at me. My hair had been pinned into soft curls, delicate pieces falling around my face in exactly the way that I had imagined. My makeup was simple, because Daniel always told me that I looked my best when I looked like myself. And my dress - it was everything that I had dreamed of, and more. It was elegant, timeless, and most importantly, absolutely me.
I had pictured wearing it since I was a little girl, playing make-believe in my mother's closet.
My fingers traced over the fabric absentmindedly as I took in my reflection, the corners of my mouth lifting slightly. I was finally going to become Mrs. Daniel Whitmore. The thought was so strange. Not wrong. Just strange, and new. It had been nothing more than a thought for so long, that the fact that it was actually going to be a reality, felt somewhat overwhelming.
"You're smiling again."
I couldn't help but laugh softly when I looked through the mirror and saw Emma, my best friend, leaning against the doorjamb. I had absolutely no idea how long she had been standing there and staring at me.
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
She smiled, coming further into the room. It was only then that I noticed that she was holding a glass of champagne.
"It's not. But I don't think that I've ever seen you look this happy."
I looked back at my reflection for a moment, before deciding to answer her.
"I don't think that I've ever been this happy."
The words came out quieter than expected. Because it was true. This was the happiest that I had ever been. I had wondered whether or not I would ever get here, whether or not I would ever find the kind of love that people talked about. And just when I hadn't been looking, Daniel had found me. He had been patient when I had been difficult. He had stayed, when it would have been easier to leave.
Emma placed a hand on my shoulder, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Can you believe that it's your wedding day?"
"No."
I laughed a little bit, turning around to face her. She held out the glass of champagne towards me, but I turned it away. Considering the way that I was feeling at the moment, I did not think that it would be a good idea to throw alcohol into the mix.
"Have your nerves kicked in?"
"A little bit."
"And any cold feet?"
"Absolutely not!"
She laughed at me, and truth be told, I did not blame her.
"I knew that you would say that."
I looked down at my engagement ring, noticing the way that the diamond caught the light.
"No matter how much the nerves eat at me, I know Daniel."
And that was true. I knew his laugh, the way that he squeezed my hand when he wanted to say something without actually saying it. I knew the way that he looked at me when he thought that I wasn't paying attention. I knew the promises that he made, could be trusted and believed. He was a man of his word, and that was a rare commodity in todays day and age.
It was going to be the two of us, no matter what. Always and forever. The words that had become the foundation of my entire future.
My phone vibrated on the table, and I chose to ignore it. It was something that had been happening the whole day. Friends and family had been sending me messages at different intervals throughout the whole day. They were sending congratulations, and the ceremony hadn't even started. But then it vibrated again, something about the timing feeling off.
I picked it up, and found that it was Daniel. The moment that I saw his name on the screen, I couldn't help but smile even wider. I had been waiting to hear from him this whole day. It had taken everything in me to make sure that I wasn't the one who messaged him first, and now that he had caved, I was actually going to be able to talk to him.
I opened the message.
Daniel: I need to see you.
I frowned. My first thought was that something was wrong. Not because the message was unusual. But because Daniel never texted like that. At least, not to me. Not on a day like today. I did not hesitate to send him a text back.
Ivy: Are you okay?
The three dots appeared almost immediately. Then disappeared. Then appeared again. A minute passed. Then another. My heartbeat became louder, and it came to the point where I could physically feel it beating against my chest. It felt like an eternity had passed before his reply finally came.
Daniel: Please come to the hotel suite. We need to talk before the ceremony.
I stared at the screen. Before the ceremony?
Why did it feel like his words were loaded, like there was something that he was trying to say, without actually saying it? I looked around the room, at the mess that I had made while getting ready. I looked at my dress. At the flowers. And I thought of the life that I was about to step into. And I could not bring myself to share the small, uneasy feeling that buried itself in my chest.
The words felt heavier than they should have.
I typed back.
Ivy: Daniel, today is our wedding day.
A few seconds passed.
Ivy: Whatever this is, we can talk after the ceremony.
His response came quickly.
Daniel: No.
My fingers froze. My entire being froze.
Daniel:
I need you here now.
"Everything okay?" Emma asked.
I looked up too quickly, startled by the fact that she had spoken to me. I had almost forgotten that she was here, that she was speaking to me.
"Yes. Everything is fine."
The lie came automatically. Flawlessly. After all, what else was I supposed to say to her? It was not like I could tell her that Daniel was asking me to meet him privately, on our wedding day, and refusing to tell me why. I could not tell her that I had an uneasy feeling about it all.
I looked back at my phone.
I typed again.
Ivy: Daniel, you know seeing the bride before the wedding is bad luck.
I expected him to laugh. I expected him to tease me. Because he knew me.
He knew I believed in little traditions. It was a joke that he had made all too often.
His reply came - just as fast as the previous ones had.
Daniel: Ivy.
I waited.
Daniel: You can't seriously believe that.
I felt myself waver, the uneasy feeling instantly becoming worse. What was going on with him?
Ivy: I'm serious.
Ivy: My grandmother always said the first time the bride sees the groom on the wedding day should be when she walks down the aisle.
This time, his response took longer. When it came, something about it made my chest tighten.
Daniel: Your grandmother also believed we would make it forever.
I stared at those words, struggling to understand what he meant by them. Every thought that filled my mind, was not good. And my gut feeling about all of this, was starting to get worse and worse. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
Ivy: That is not funny.
A pause, then,
Daniel: I'm not joking.
Another message followed.
Daniel: I need to see you, Ivy.
That was all it took.
I looked at Emma.
"I need to go somewhere."
Her eyebrows pulled together, clearly figuring out that there was something that I wasn't saying, something that I was keeping from her. There was no way that she hadn't been able to pick up on the change in my demeanor. She knew me too well. We had been friends for years. I knew that if she were to ask, I would not be able to lie to her. So, I was not even going to try.
"Where to?"
I hesitated for a moment.
"To see Daniel."
The concern on her face appeared immediately. She might have been able to keep her composure up until now, but that was the end of it.
"Before the wedding?"
I nodded.
"I know."
"Ivy..."
"I'll be back."
The confidence that I spoke with was false. If only I felt half as confident as I was pretending to be. Perhaps the situation would not nearly be as bad. Before she could try and talk me out of it, I grabbed my bouquet and my phone, and walked out of the room.
If only Emma had come after me after all, if only she had done something to stop me, to get me to show her the texts. Maybe then I wouldn't have been so eager to go to Daniel. Because nothing would have prepared me for what I found...