When We Return

I usually don’t do anything stupid. In front of everyone, I do good. At home, at school, at family reunions, in everything I do, is attached to the word ‘perfection’. I am my family’s pride, the reason why I’m pressured to do things perfectly. The reason why I have ‘fake friends’, and there are a lot of them I tell you. As I said, I usually don’t do anything stupid. But I just did. I did the most stupid thing in my life, I kissed a guy in front of everyone while holding a bottle of whiskey, half empty, in one of my parent’s business party. I, Lee Sojung, just French-kissed a stranger in the exact center of the dance floor, with every damn person inside the building looking at us like we were having a strip show right at that moment. Well, what do you expect would’ve happened after that? Of course, there was a series of emotional events between me and my parents. Most especially my dad, he was the angriest about the incident. Having a father as one of the respected businessman will definitely cause a huge issue especially when his most adored daughter just created a ruckus of getting drunk and kissed a stranger in front of his colleagues. And what happened after that? Let’s say they sent me to a vacation trip. Or more like a rehabilitation to fix this attitude of mine. And you know what sucks? Because everyone now thinks lowly of me just because of that one mistake. People would really look even for a one single mistake and attack you with it. That’s how low people would stoop down to that level only to bring you down. Of course, I feel worse, all my life I was only praised by a lot of people. I was everyone’s role model, an epitome of beauty and brains. But right now, I couldn’t even lift my chin up, which I usually do, and meet the eyes of the people. I’m stained all right. The negative part of being the only child and being pressured with everything is that you don’t know what to do if you fail. One mistake and all those things you’ve done good will be erased and all they could see now is what you’ve done wrong. Seriously? People’s way of thinking is twisted. And you’re asking why I did that in the first place? Let’s just say that in my 21 years of existence, I’ve never, ever, not even a sip, tried drinking alcohol. That’s why when the waiter offered me one, I got addicted and snatched a bottle from the bar. “Now Sojung, I trust you from now on.” Mother said as she dropped me off the airport. “Yeah, mom.” I mumbled as I gathered my things and turned to face her. Tears suddenly formed at the corner of my eyes. I hate to say goodbye to my mother. It’s my first time to be apart from her and I don’t know how to live without her. “You’ll do good. Consider this as a healing time okay? You’ve suffered a lot.” Good thing about her is that she knows how I was feeling. Most of the time she’s there with me while I’m crying myself to sleep because of guilt. “F-father?” I asked and she sadly smiled. I get it, he won’t see me off. He doesn’t care. Or maybe he does but is still mad to see me. “I’m sorry mother. I promise I’ll be back and make it up to you.” I said and pulled her in to a hug. “don’t worry about us. Your father will cool down, just give him time.” She said as she pats my head. I suddenly don’t want to leave. For 21 years, I’ve only gone to school, library, office, home. As soon as I graduated, my father immediately let me work in his company, what do you expect? I’m the heir. “thanks mother. I just hope you’re with me there. I don’t know what to do.” She patted my back signaling me to let go of her. “Just call me from time to time. Don’t worry, there’s someone who’ll help you.” Lastly, she pats my cheek and kissed my forehead and I head off. For almost all my life I’ve been living on Canada and had not once ever visited Korea is all foreign to me though I’m Korean. And I don’t even know how to speak the language for Pete’s sake. I hope 3 months would pass by quickly. The reason why my father had thrown me here is because I needed to learn something from my own birth country. Though I doubt I would survive here before three months end. I just landed on Incheon Airport not so long ago and currently waiting outside the building for someone to fetch me as my mother had promised. “Lee Sojung-sshi?” I turned my head and saw a man, maybe in his 40’s, holding a placard with my name on it. Good thing it is in English. I half run to him, dragging my luggage along. “Hi.” Was the only thing I said. Not sure if he knows how to speak English. “Follow me.” he said and insisted to bring my luggage for me. Is he the one who’s going to tour me around here? Whoa wait, a middle-aged man? No, absolutely not. I’m not really comfortable with guys, it would’ve been better if mom sent someone closer to my age instead. “Um, excuse me, sir.” I said as he popped the trunk of the car to place my luggage. He looked up after he closed the trunk. “Are you the one who’s going to guide me here?” Please say no. “No, ma’am. I believe your father asked not to help you with your stay here.” And I also believe my eyes was about to fall off my eyeballs. What did he say? No one’s going to help me here? Say what? “b-but--!” I panicked. I’m so not going to survive even before this trip starts. What the heck, father. Do you really hate me that much? “your mother had asked someone to accompany you here. But I’m not sure who.” Instantly relieved with what I heard, I hopped on the passenger seat and we drove to the hotel. After almost an hour, we arrived to Seoul and dropped me off on an apartment building. I don’t know if my mother had rented a room for my stay here but I hope there is. Though I’m 21, I’m still a bit introverted. Don’t blame me though, that’s what you get when you’re only focused on studying and work. The man who drove me here, who turned out to be Father’s former secretary when they’re still staying here in Korea, was already long gone. My hands were suddenly shaking because of the tension building inside me. I promise I won’t do anything stupid again when I go back. With a deep sigh, I made my way inside the building. Luckily, my mother already rented me a room. I suddenly miss her right now. I dropped all my things and ran on the bed. Uwaaa, so fluffy!! I rolled from side to side and my eyes landed on a sliding door just beside the bed. I got up and trailed to the terrace. I was wrapped almost instantly by cold wind. It’s almost dawn already and the view was perfect. Spreading my arms as if ready to embrace someone, I tipped my toes on the gutter and tried to inhale the air. “manh-eun salamdeul-i geu il-eulhaneun dong-an neom-eojyeossseubnida” (A lot of people fell off while doing that, you know) “Oh, s**t!” I almost lost my balance but good thing my hands instantly wrapped the railings. My heart was pumping crazily because of shock. “Uwaa! I’m so scared.” That’s when I realized I was already sitting on the floor with my knees bent up. My heart was still pumping so hard. I turned to the voice who scared the wits out of me. But thanks to the dark I can’t make out his face. He’s tall and has shaggy brown hair wearing white fitted shirt, and he’s staring straight ahead with a can on his hand. “Hey! You scared me!” “mianhae.” He gulped down his drink and squashing it after then throw it on the open air. He went back inside without even sparing me a glance. “Yah--!” but I heard the sliding door closed shut. “great.” I grunted and also proceeded inside my room. “mianhe.” I said copying his voice sarcastically. “I don’t even know what that means. A sorry would be enough though. Tsk” Mother, I wanna go home now.