The Woman who was Never Mine (English Version)

I had no intention of ever loving again. Ever since I lost my wife and child, something inside me changed in a way I could never explain to anyone. It felt as if a part of my heart had been buried along with them—cold, silent, and gone forever. The house that once felt warm suddenly became empty. Every corner held memories that refused to fade. There were nights when I would wake up in the middle of the dark, thinking I heard my child laughing somewhere in the hallway. Sometimes I would imagine my wife calling my name from the kitchen, just like she used to when dinner was ready. But when I opened my eyes, there was nothing there except silence. Grief does strange things to a person. At first, I tried to pretend I was strong. I told people I was fine. I forced myself to go back to work, to live like a normal person again. But deep inside, I knew the truth. Something in me had already died. So I made a promise to myself—one I believed I would keep for the rest of my life. I was done with love. No more attachments. No more dreams about building a future with someone. Loving someone only meant risking everything, and I had already lost more than enough. For a long time, that promise felt easy to keep. Years passed quietly. My life became simple, predictable, almost mechanical. Wake up. Work. Go home. Sleep. Repeat. There was no excitement, no hope, no expectation. Just peace. Or at least, the closest thing to peace I could manage. But sometimes… life has a cruel sense of humor. No matter how hard you try to bury the past, there are things that refuse to stay hidden. Memories that refuse to fade. People who somehow find their way back into your life when you least expect it. People like Maya. The woman who first made my heart skip a beat. The woman who once made me believe that maybe life could still be beautiful after everything I had been through. The woman I loved… silently, foolishly, and completely. Back then, she was everything to me. Her laughter had a way of brightening even my darkest days. The smallest smile from her was enough to make my entire world feel lighter. She probably never knew how deeply she affected me. I watched her from a distance, too afraid to say the things I truly felt. Too afraid that if I reached out, I might lose even the small place I had in her life. And in the end, that fear became reality. Because she was never mine. Life moved forward, as it always does. People changed, paths separated, and slowly Maya became just another memory I tried to store away with all the others. Or at least… that’s what I thought. Until one day— We met again. By accident. It wasn’t dramatic. There was no warning, no sign that the past was about to return. Just a random moment in an ordinary place, where our eyes met as if time itself had paused for a second. Everything had changed. She’s married now. She has a life of her own, a different future from the one I once imagined. And me? I shouldn’t be feeling anything anymore. That was the plan, wasn’t it? But the moment I looked at her again, all those carefully buried emotions rose back to the surface like they had never truly disappeared. The feelings. The dreams. The memories I had tried so hard to forget. And something darker… something I didn’t want to admit even to myself. The obsession. I approached her that day with the calmest voice I could manage. I told myself it was harmless. I told myself I only wanted to be friends again, nothing more. And surprisingly, she agreed. Maybe she thought it was just a coincidence. Maybe she believed that the past had no power over us anymore. But the truth? The moment I saw her again, I already knew the promise I made to myself years ago had begun to crack. Because deep inside, a part of me had already started falling all over again. And now… I don’t care if she’s already married. I don’t care if this is wrong. If loving her again means stepping into a dangerous place where I have no right to be, then maybe that’s the path I’m meant to take. This time, letting go and being swept away by whatever happens seems to be the only choice left for me. Even though I know the truth better than anyone else. There are some loves that should never be started.