Scheming the Playboy's Heart

"Hi, my wife," bungad ni Astrid nang pagbuksan ko siya ng pinto. Halata sa amoy ng alak na nakainom na siya. His unsteady posture and slightly flushed face confirmed it. "Isn't it too early for sleep?" tanong niya, ngunit ang mga mata niya ay abala sa pagsusuri ng aking suot—isang manipis na pantulog na halos hindi natatakpan ang aking dibdib. I felt a wave of discomfort as his gaze lingered on my cleavage. Para bang walang ibang bagay sa paligid na makukuha ang atensyon niya. "A-Astrid, you're drunk," nauutal kong sambit habang iniwasan ang titig niya, pilit na nagtatapang-tapangan kahit na kinakabahan na ako. Diretso siyang tumingin sa mga mata ko, pagkatapos ay sa labi ko. Paulit-ulit ang pagsuyod ng kanyang mga mata sa dalawang bahaging ito, na parang nag-aalangan o may nais sabihin ngunit hindi niya maipahayag. "I know," sagot niya na may mapang-akit na tawa, kasabay ng paglapit niya sa akin. Each step he took felt heavier, as though the air between us thickened with tension. I instinctively stepped backward, but the space between us seemed to shrink with every move. "Why don’t we enjoy our first night as newlyweds?" tanong niya sa mababang boses, punong-puno ng seryosong intensyon. Ang mga mata niya, na karaniwang malambing, ay mapupungay at tila nangangalit. Napaatras akong muli, pero hindi ko napansin na nasa dulo na ako ng kama. Nawalan ako ng balanse at bumagsak, ang likod ko'y dumapo sa malambot na kutson. Before I could recover, he was already hovering over me. His movements were deliberate, his face inching closer until I could feel the heat of his breath against my skin. I tried to push him away, placing both hands on his chest, but he resisted with unyielding strength. My heart raced as panic set in. "Astrid, please, don't—" mahina kong sambit, nanginginig ang boses ko. Ngunit hindi siya tumigil. His lips claimed mine with force, his left hand gripping my waist firmly while his right hand braced himself on the bed beside my head. Hindi ako gumanti ng halik, but that didn’t deter him. His lips trailed downward, grazing my neck, leaving hot, lingering kisses. Napapaliyad ako sa bawat sensasyon, ngunit sa kaloob-looban ko ay alam kong hindi ito ang gusto ko. Not like this. His movements carried a mix of desperation and madness, as though he was fueled by something deeper—anger, frustration, or betrayal. "Astrid, stop!" I finally managed to cry out, my voice breaking. He froze. His face hovered inches from mine, his eyes wide with surprise and dawning realization. The intensity in his gaze melted away, replaced by confusion and something that resembled guilt. Slowly, he pulled away. His weight lifted from my body, but the fear he left behind was overwhelming. Dahan-dahan kong iminulat ang mga mata ko, at ramdam ko ang mga luhang bumagsak mula sa mga pisngi ko. My breaths came in shallow gasps as I tried to calm myself. Tumingin siya sa akin, ngunit ang ekspresyon niya ay hindi ko mabasa. It was as if he was grappling with the reality of what he had just done. "I'm sorry..." bulong niya, halos hindi marinig. His voice cracked, betraying a mix of regret and shame. Tumayo siya mula sa kama, tinakpan ang mukha gamit ang kamay. Tumalikod siya at tahimik na lumakad papunta sa pinto. Bago siya lumabas, saglit siyang tumigil, ngunit walang anumang sinabi. Pagkasara ng pinto, napaiyak ako nang husto. I hugged myself tightly, trying to dispel the lingering weight of his actions. The room felt colder, emptier, and the silence was deafening. I cried myself out of pity for myself, my sobs echoing in the silence of the room. The weight of what happened was too much to bear, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that wasn’t mine to carry. Kasalanan ko ba? tanong ko sa sarili, habang pinupunasan ang mga luha sa pisngi ko. Bakit parang ako ang sinisisi niya? Astrid’s expression earlier—his blank stare, his confusion, his frustration—was seared into my mind. He wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to act this way. He had only come here for his father’s birthday. Dapat yun lang ang dahilan. A simple visit, a short celebration, and then he’d return to the freedom he loved so much. But life took a different turn. Unexpectedly, he got married. To me. Hindi niya ito ginusto, bulong ko sa sarili habang unti-unting tumigil sa pag-iyak. The marriage was arranged, a decision made by our families without his input—or mine. He was a free man. He lived on his own terms, did as he pleased, and chased his own dreams. But now, he wasn’t. His freedom, the life he cherished, was stripped away by a decision neither of us made willingly. At ako ang naging dahilan ng lahat ng ito. The bitterness of it all lingered in my chest. The way he looked at me wasn’t just blame—it was anger, frustration, and resentment. And as much as I wanted to hate him for it, I couldn’t. Because deep down, I understood him. Kung ako ang nasa kalagayan niya, magagalit din siguro ako, I thought, clutching the edge of the blanket tighter. Pero kasalanan ko ba talaga? I felt trapped, just as much as he did. This wasn’t the life I wanted either, but here we were—bound by expectations, by a contract neither of us had a say in. What should I do now? My tears started to dry, replaced by a hollow ache in my chest. The silence in the room felt heavier now, as if it carried the weight of all the things left unsaid between us. For now, all I could do was wait. Wait for him to forgive me for something I didn’t do, and wait for myself to forgive him for something he couldn’t control.