Sister

7 may 2023 - 9:51 I torn the former two pages because I am disappointed, I have always have an ideal of writing a novel about my sister and I , but I decided to do something more realistic in this my novel, since my sister broke my phone which have my recording inside, then I came up with another Idea, what people do not know about me is that I don't pay attention on you without your benefit, it can be anything. I have always use this ever since I was 15 years old, I was told by a man that I won't lived passed 18 years old when I was 10 years old, I was scared, I was thinking that my life is too short, so I start to seek for more attention I was going to lose anyway maybe I took it the wrong way, I seek for a attention In the wrong way but I start to notice that my sister was getting away, but I think is good anyway, at least she won't feel too sad when I leave, I think it is good because when you loved someone everything that makes them happy, you will want to give them then my mom took us to the Nederland, I was happy because I thought that this is the chance to change because I found out that after I passed 18 years that the thing I used to believe on for 8 years , was a lie but from a young age I have always had strong mental health, but when I came here, from the first day, I know that my mom don't love me, I know but I choose to pretend not to know because of all she has done to help me back then, and she brought me out of suffering, I know that most of the reason is my fault because I show many bad characters when I was young because I want them to forget about me because I will be passing when I turn 18 years anyway. you will be wondering “ so if you can read people why don't you know that what you were believing was a lie " I can answer that, that was because at 13 after seeing my first period, I start to forget many things, I will forget things, all less I put them importantly on my mind, it will take me minutes or days to remember somethings depends on how much I put it in my mind, and also my eye sight problem started, I was scared and hopeless, I don't like to talk to people about any deep secrets of my, so I start to take the burden myself, Oly to found out that it was all a lie, I can't believe it because the man called my name my birthday and the day it was and the weather that day, so I thought that he was right. I was always smart since I was a kid , but because I was concentrating on a wrong thing, so I fell behind, even though I am smart, no one will know, I was like a shining star among the other stars that no one wants to know how bright it will be. so coming back to the main topic, I decided to write a story about me and my sister but after my phone was broken, I lost all my records of my ideas , so I came up to a big idea , I decided to get real reaction from my sister, that is when I started my plan, I wanted to start on our first two camps but I did not get much reaction because I was not there to see it, so I decided to do it at the previous camp and I finally got a reaction, I was shocked about many discovering I found, I can't believe that my sister and my mom would do that , then I decided to also have my mom's but I was disappointed, I don't know that a mother will be so jealous of her own children sometimes, after I got some ideas, I start writing my novel but me and my sister had a argument and my ideas died down, that was not the most hurtful word, the most hurtful words were her calling my child a mistake, that drop my love for her to 60%, I was hurt because I know that if she was me , I will never do what she did to me to her. I don't want to go on details, so when we came to Amsterdam. I wanted to try again but with a different plan this time.