Episode 1 The Confrontation-1
2016 Words
Episode 1
The Confrontation
The conflicts that we have with others are reflections of our own inner conflicts.
Therefore, facing your fears and your pain is inevitable to finding peace, love, and happiness.
You can’t grow and evolve without learning from your mistakes and struggles.
“That’s f*****g bullshit. I don’t believe that for a second,” Eric piped up.
Some people walking nearby stared over at Eric in a shocked and offended way.
“Wow, I didn’t think you would get so upset over a topic like this,” Emerald calmly stated. “You’re ruining the park’s relaxing energy.”
“It just doesn’t make sense,” Eric said in a lower voice.
“Well, you don’t have to believe it for it to be true. There are lots of things that you and I don’t believe that are true. And there are lots of things that we do believe that aren’t.”
“So, you’re trying to tell me that there’s nothing good about competition.”
“Nothing at all.”
They both paused for a minute and tried to enjoy the moment of the light breeze at the park as it rustled through the leaves and made a sound like waves gently crashing at a beach. It was a nice mild day with some beautiful plump white clouds.
“I can think of a few good things about competition,” Eric said. “Competition is awesome. It’s like the foundation to society.”
“Like what?” Emerald asked. “Give me some answers.”
Eric thought for a second. “It makes you better at what you are doing. You learn from others and your mistakes.”
“Those are okay,” Emerald said. “We’ll come back to those. And…”
“Give me a second. You feel better about yourself, so you get confidence and a higher self-esteem.”
“For whom?”
“The winner.”
“What about the loser?”
“They get learned skills of what to do and what not to do next time.”
“Anything else?”
“I think those are great. So, there are strengths, betterment, self-esteem, confidence, pride, and learning from mistakes.”
“What about the negatives?” Emerald asked demandingly.
“What about the negatives?” Eric asked mockingly.
“We can’t just talk about the positives without mentioning the negatives.”
“But the positives far outweigh the negatives.”
“How do you know? We haven’t listed them yet.”
Eric paused for a few seconds.
“Hurt feelings, sadness, and maybe shame,” Eric reluctantly said.
“Not bad. That’s a good start. What else?”
“I guess if you couldn’t beat someone or win, you would get helpless or hopeless like you wouldn’t be able to ever win. So, you might quit trying and give up.”
“That’s excellent and a great way to go into some insight with the loser. I’m impressed,” Emerald said with genuineness.
“Hey, have I ever not tried to look at the other side of things?”
“We’ll have to come back to that question because I can think of several times. You are a stubborn a*s. Anything else?”
“That’s all I can think about off the top of my head.”
“That’s a start.”
“I’m sure there’s more positives too. What do you have to add to both of those Em?”
“Well, let’s see. Since I’m trying to justify that competition has no purpose, I’ll start with the positives. Competition can create a learning environment for both parties, but it would need to be on a playing field of rules and fairness.”
“So, you are going to immediately throw in some stipulations to minimize the positives?” Eric asked with some annoyance in his voice.
“Yes, we have to due to the fact that competition requires it. If it’s not fair or even a remote possibility that one party or group can beat the other party or group, it’s not competition. It’s futile or dominance and what some would call a s*******r by the other party or group. In addition, that dominance might create an environment for the underdog to not want to compete or participate at all. They could also cheat or try to bend the rules to win.”
“You could also say that the dominant or favored ones might already be cheating to have the upper hand,” Eric said in an ingratiating way.
“That’s good. Yes, that is what I’m saying.”
“Okay, I see where you are coming from.”
“For the most part, there’s always going to be one party who has the upper hand,” Emerald said. “However, it shouldn’t be so much where there is no chance at all for the other party to not be able to win. Then, it wouldn’t be competition. It would be biased or inequitable. So, let’s focus on the underdog having some chance of winning. In that case, I would say some parties are learning, and that’s about it for the positives.”
“What?” Eric asked impatiently. “What about self-esteem, confidence, or even pride?”
“Well, that’s fine for one party, but it doesn’t hold for the other party. The positives should be for competition, which is about both parties and not just what one gets out of it.”
“I don’t know, but I’ll stay with you since that might reduce the negatives too.”
“The negatives of competition are separate from that rationale.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, if you use what’s positive for one party and not the other party, then every positive for the party that won is a negative for the one who didn’t.”
“I got you. That makes sense.”
“So, the only positive that I can think of is learning from what you did whether that was right or wrong. Do you have any more positives that you can think of?”
“I believe that’s a big one and very important, but it’s the only one that I can think of that is within our parameters.” Eric thought for a few seconds. “Wait, if we are focusing on fair and just competition, then what about the benefit that they are giving to society? For example, people or businesses try to one-up each other to improve certain business products or services, especially technology.”
“Yes, I would agree with you as long as the products, services, or technologies are not polluting the environment and contributing to other horrible problems or issues, such as discrimination, s****m, slave labor, tax evasion, and so on. Unfortunately, a lot of them have some or all of those consequences. People and companies also try to sell customers unhealthy and dangerous products. As you know, there are a lot of suckers and fools out there who will pay money to hurt themselves, the others, the animals, and the environment just because they saw it on an advertisement or they think everyone else is buying it too. The product may satisfy some immediate gratification, but it has negative effects. A lot of people don’t think about the consequences, or they deny them. But I’m very pessimistic about capitalism and corporations, so I’ll save that conversation for another day.”
“I agree for the most part, but there is some good that comes out of businesses competing to have a better product.”
“But they don’t Eric. They are not trying to make a better product. That is a false ideal. That is what is supposed to happen in capitalism, but it doesn’t. The competition actually hinders and prevents product growth and development as the companies are trying to make money, so they put less money into the product to make it cheaper and of less quality while trying to raise the price. The production of the product becomes a way for the company to make money and not create a better product for the people. The best examples are the numerous products that are absolutely horrible to our health and environment. You have pollution that is rampant and products that the companies intentionally make to break down after a short amount of time. Sure, I’ll give you that there are a couple of good companies out there and some good products, but for the most part, companies aren’t trying to find a way to help humanity. They are trying to find a way to make money and help themselves, which becomes a crime against humanity. It’s a travesty. It’s very upsetting. And if competition in business was such a good thing, then why do certain companies end up monopolizing most of the profits of an industry?”
“Sorry Em, I forgot how passionate you are about your convictions.”
“No problem. I just hope you can see what I am talking about.”
“I do. Unfortunately, I do.”
“So, let’s focus on the negatives. As long as we have a fair playing field for competition, I could see the negatives being what you were focusing on like feelings of defeat surrounding hopelessness and helplessness. However, I think those feelings could be dealt with in a healthy or productive way, but we don’t know that. Therefore, those feelings and effects could be very unhealthy and detrimental to someone.”
“That could be a positive then.”
“If they are dealt with in a certain way, they could. However, we don’t know that they will be. And, even if they are, some people learn to deal or cope with feelings surrounding certain situations in the past, but they continue to have difficulties dealing or coping with feelings surrounding similar situations in the present and/or the future. Therefore, they are still having problems. So, you can’t say that it was a positive. We just don’t know. Even with a guide, coach, or counselor, they may not get it or not be able to use the skills, so I wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s a positive. Either way, it would still fall into the positive category of learning from your experiences.”
“Anything else?”
“Not sure. As much as I despise competition, it seems the biggest negatives surround the feelings of hurt and loss and low self-esteem, so the only other negatives I can think of relate to business competition, such as loss of money and financial consequences and the deleterious effects on society, such as discrimination, inequality, and pollution. You also have the lack of products and services if a company goes out of business and the other issue of a company raising prices.”
“So, where does that leave us?”
“I still think that nothing good comes out of competition,” Emerald said.
“What? You can’t say that. A learning experience is an amazing positive.”
“Yes, it is. However, do you have to have competition with all its consequences of hurt and loss to learn from your mistakes and weaknesses to learn or be better at something? Is there a healthier and better way to develop and grow without competition that doesn’t have those serious negative effects? Can you still learn without engaging in competition? Can you learn more?”
“That is a good point. I would say that you could probably set up a better competitive environment to promote growth and development even if at a loss.”
“But, is that also too idealistic due to the reality that a lot of competition breeds dishonesty, lies, cheating, bending the rules, and other unscrupulous acts? That is reality. So, I think we are at a place to say that most competition is unhealthy for us. There may be some that can be good, but that is debatable. It would be better to have growth and development in other ways such as with coaching or mentoring or even self-discipline.”
“I guess I’m still torn. I see where you are coming from, but there has been some good to come out of competition.”
“Eric, what is the opposite of competition?”
“Um…”
“What is competition?”
“Like a battle or game.” Eric said reluctantly.
“So, it’s like a conflict?”
“Yes.”
“You have a rivalry to see who is better, to see who can win, or to see who has the edge. They are battling in a hopefully civil way, but they are still contesting each other. There is still conflict. To me, that just doesn’t sound productive or effective, and it isn’t, especially when you have significant feelings of hurt and loss on the table. And I do believe that people need to learn how to cope with these feelings and be able to accept loss and their limitations, but you can do that more effectively and productively with education, encouragement, and motivation.”
“Well, when you put it like that, competition sounds hopeless. You better stop disparaging it, or you’re going to hurt its feelings,” Eric said sarcastically.
“It’s like trying to say something good comes out of war, which is the extreme form of competition that has few rules. So, I’ll go back to my question. What is the opposite of competition?”
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