FRIEND OF MINE (2nd Generation HUGS)

Chapter 11 -Bakit Ngayon Pa?

Chapter 11 -Bakit Ngayon Pa? 

'I thought tomorrow is your flight back to the Philippines. So bakit nandito ka sa office now? Are you done packing?'

'Love naman. Why do I have this feeling that you don't want me here today?' nakataas ang kilay ko sa sinabi ni Troy. He moved an inch closer to me before wrapping his arms around my waist. 'Can't I just be with my girl at least a day more before I leave?' He lay his chin on my shoulder saka kinuha ang newspaper na binabasa ko. 'Spend the whole day with me Love, please. Aalis na ako bukas yet puro work parin ang inaatupag mo.'

'Of course I need to work, silly. Paano ako mabubuhay if I will not work and just stay at home?' I slightly fix his hair before smiling sweetly at him.

'Kapag naging asawa na kita Love, I will not allow you to work anymore. Sa bahay ka na lang and you will just take care of our children.'

'Wow advance. Mind you lang po, we've just been back together for a couple of days tapos ngayon asawa na agad and children? Gosh! Hahahaha!' He clasps our hands together as he plays with my hair, isa sa mga hobbies na ginagawa niya ever since.

'Masama bang mangarap Love? Itong pag-reconcile natin pangarap ko rin ito before, but look at us now. Tayo na ulit. So what's wrong with dreaming and hoping right?'

'Oo na po Sir. Tama ka na naman.' I pinch his nose kaya humalakhak siya ng malakas.

'Spend the day with me Love. Let's go somewhere cozy and secluded, na tayong dalawa lang together.' I gaze at him with an arching eyebrow. 'What?' He started laughing loudly. 'Hahahahaha!'

'Tawa ka diyan!'

'Ang green kasi ng mind mo Love. Saan ba ang cozy na tayong dalawa lang together ang iniisip mo?'

'Ewan ko sayo!' hinampas ko ang braso niya.

'See! You're blushing Love! Gusto mo na ba? Ako ayoko pa dahil gusto ko pakasalan muna kita bago tayo mag-make love.' I immediately pierce his side kaya ganun na lang ang lakas ng tawa niya. 'HAHAHAHAHA!'

'Stop that Love.'

'Yayayain lang sana kita sa park now and since it is almost lunchtime kaya for sure ay secluded na ang park ngayon. But since you were thinking of a different place then...' hinampas ko siya ng malakas.

'Umalis ka na nga lang! You're disturbing me!' kunwaring pagalit ko sa kanya before I stood up and head to my desk.

'Galit na daw siya samantalang my girl is blushing and smiling beautifully.' mas lumaki pa ang ngiti ko when he suddenly hug me from behind.

'Tama na kasi ang pang-aasar mo Love. I am not thinking of such thing kaya.'

'Alright, hindi na kung hindi. But come with me please. Let's spend time at the park para bago ako umalis matagal pa kitang makasama. Please?' He held my hand lovingly before kissing them.

'Do I have a choice Mr. Anderson?'

'Nope Ms. Smith, you don't have a choice but to come with me now.' He snatched my waist and my sunglasses before leading me to the door.

We walk hand in hand to the park. Naging tambayan na namin ito ever since he got here. He had extend his stay here para mapasagot ulit ako. Troy isn't hard to love dahil bukod sa mabait siya ay napaka-gentleman pa niya and affectionate. After days of thinking, I have decided to give us another chance just like what dad had advise me. Wala naman sigurong masama kung pumayag ako na maging kami ulit ni Troy, besides sa mahal niya ako, he is a great man. I just hope that this time it will really workout at hindi na ma-contaminate ang utak ko. I cared for Troy kaya nga na-guilty ako nang makipag-break ako sa kanya before. Mali kasi ang ginawa ko and I want to make it up with him sa mga maling nagawa ko noon. I just really hope and pray that this time it will workout at wala ng gugulo pa sa mind ko. 

---

I have just arrived in San Francisco and I must admit that I am too tired with all the things that are bothering my mind plus the fact that I haven’t got any rest from yesterday’s thoughts. After settling my luggage at the suite I have booked for myself, kumain lang ako sandali to gather my strength then I travel agad papunta sa Smith International Group Tower. When I’ve reach the lobby ay nagpunta muna ako sa men’s room to check myself. Ang laki ng eyebags ko and I look stressed. I rinse my face first with warm water and pat it dry before heading outside. Tumuloy ako sa frontdesk.

‘Pleasant day Sir. How may I be of service to you today?’ bungad ng isang employee sa akin.

‘Hi. I’m a friend of Pretty Bella Smith and I was hoping to talk to her.’

‘Do you have any appointments with the President Sir?’ I shake my head and smile. ‘May I know your name please?’

‘Zeus Genesis Reiz Jr.’ tinitigan akong mabuti ng babae before smiling at me.

‘Do you happen to be connected with the owner of REIZ AIRLINES Sir?’ my smile broadens as she asks.

‘Sort of.’ She smiles gingerly.

‘I will just have to check on the President’s secretary, Mr. Reiz. Excuse me for a while.’ She calls someone whom I think is Bella’s secretary. Tumingin muna ako sa kabuuan ng ground floor lobby. I have been here once when I was a kid. Isinama ako ni Dad before to see Tito Poseidon when we travelled here. ‘Excuse me, Mr. Reiz?’ tumingin ako sa babaeng employee. ‘I’m afraid the President is out of her office at the moment. She left a while ago according to her secretary.’

‘Will she be coming back?’

‘Her secretary said that the President didn’t bring any of her belongings with her so maybe she will return Sir.’

‘Alright, thank you. I’ll just wait for her  at the waiting area.’

‘Thank you so much, Mr. Reiz. Have a nice day.’

Naglakad na ako papunta sa mga single seater cushions na naka-locate sa gilid ng lobby. These seats were intended for waiting kaya dito na lang ako maghihintay. I’ve checked my watch. It is almost 1:30 in the afternoon. Saan kaya siya nagpunta? Baka siguro nag-lunch out at pabalik na rin yun. I lean back comfortably after grabbing a magazine. Nang muli akong tumingin sa watch ko ay 2:30 na. What’s keeping her long? Maybe I should try to reach her phone. Kinuha ko ang brand new phone ko and pressed her number. But it just keeps on ringing hanggang sa mag-voicemail na. I hang up and lean back again. Naka-ilang sulyap na ako sa paligid ko hoping to catch sight of her but wala. I once again glance at my watch before standing up and went again to the front desk. 

‘Hi again Miss.’ ngumiti ang babaeng employee upon recognizing me. ‘I’m wondering if the President is already at her office. Would you mind checking again with her secretary?’

‘Certainly Mr. Reiz.’ tumawag ulit siya but minutes after ay sinabi niya sa akin na wala pa rin daw si Bella sa office nito. I excuse myself before walking to a coffee shop na nasa loob lang rin ng building. I ordered a strong coffee, medyo inaantok na kasi ako. 

‘Nasaan ka ba Bella? Bakit hindi ka pa bumalik? Kung may outdoor meeting ka naman ay siguro sinabi na ng secretary mo kanina pa.’ I said to myself after sipping my coffee. 

I decided to leave the building when the clock strikes 6:00. Ang tagal ng hinintay ko pero ni anino ni Bella ay hindi ko nakita. I head at my suite then freshen up bago humiga. I need to rest dahil talagang pagod na pagod na ako. Maybe I’ll just go to her home later kung magigising pa ako or bukas na lang ulit sa SIG Tower, bahala na. But for now, I really need a good sleep. 

Nagising ako kinaumagahan na. I haven’t had dinner pero kailangan kong maging maaga sa SIG Tower para makausap si Bella, so maybe I will just invite her out for breakfast. Mabilis akong nagpunta sa bathroom and after ay nagbihis na. It’s just 7:15 pa lang naman at ang pasok niya ay 8, so sakto lang ang dating ko dun if ever. 

The moment my feet set on the building lobby at tumuloy kaagad ako sa front desk. Iba ang employee na inabutan ko so I have to do the same routine I did yesterday. Nandun na ang secretary ni Bella but she is still not around and according sa secretary niya ay mamaya pang after lunch ang dating nito. 

‘Ano kayang meron at parang busy kang sobra Bella?’ 

Nag-dine in muna ako sa nearest restaurant because my stomach is rumbling already. Right after kong kumain, I hailed a cab papunta sa bahay niya. She must be there dahil wala naman siya sa work. I rang her doorbell several times pero no one seems to be at home. This is becoming frustrating sa akin dahil hindi ko malaman kung saan ko mahahagilap si Bella. She isn't answering my calls pa naman so paano ko malalaman kung nasaan siya. Umupo muna ako sa pavement ng bahay niya and wait. 

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‘You be careful here, Love. I don’t know if kailan ako makakabalik dito. Kung pwede lang sana na huwag na muna akong bumalik ng Pilipinas ay ginawa ko na just to be with you longer.’ Troy clung to my waist as he tuck my loose hair behind my ear.

‘Alam ko naman na important rin na makabalik ka sa Philippines Love. You have worked there and I have here as well.’ 

‘Ang hirap naman ng situation natin, Belle. We are far from each other. Hindi bale, right after this contract ko ay magpapa-transfer na ako dito para malapit lang ako sayo.’ He gently kissed my forehead first before embracing me tight. 

Nasa airport kami now, today is his flight pabalik sa Philippines. Maaga ang flight niya kaya we have to be early here, but we ate breakfast first bago kami nagpunta dito. Sinundo niya ako sa bahay kanina. We heard his flight is being called already. 

‘Sige na Love. Take care.’ I smile sweetly at him. 

‘Mag-ingat ka dito Belle. I’ll call you often at mamaya pagdating ko.’ I just nod at him. ‘Will you miss me?’

‘What a silly question! Of course I will miss you!’ He gazes at me then momentarily kisses my lips. I responded with his kiss. It was a long sweet kiss at nahinto lang nang narinig namin ulit ang final call ng flight niya. ‘Sige na, go. Baka maiwanan ka pa ng plane. Take care.’

‘Agh! I will miss you dearly, Love. I love you so much.’ He gave me a chaste kiss again before walking away from me. I watch him go with a smile plastered on my lips. 

‘Goodbye Troy. Take care.’ I mumble underneath my breath.

Kakarating ko lang at my office when my secretary knocks at my door before letting herself in. She brought me coffee and some papers that I need to check.

‘I want to apologize, Mam. I forgot to tell you last night that a man was looking for you since after lunch yesterday. You were in a hurry yesterday when you returned and it also slipped through my mind.’

‘That’s alright, but I don’t recall having an appointment yesterday. Have I missed an appointment?’ I held my coffee mug tightly.

‘None Mam. But the person who was here yesterday said that he is a friend of yours.’ umangat ang isang kilay ko. ‘According to the front desk employee, he was here around 1 in the afternoon then left at exactly 6 o’clock.’ mas makuha ng secretary ko ang attention ko sa sinabi niya. Who would wait for me for such a long time?

‘Who was it?’ I draw the coffee mug near my lips before taking a little sip.

‘A certain Mr. Zeus Genesis Reiz Jr., Mam.’ 

‘WHAT!’ mabuti na lang at nakaiwas ako because I dropped my coffee mug straight at the carpeted floor. ‘MIND SAYING THAT AGAIN CLAUDINE!’ 

‘The man who was looking for you yesterday was a certain Mr. Zeus Genesis Reiz Jr., Mam.’ 

What the hell! What are you doing here Ziggy? Sa pagkakatanda ko ay next week pa ang alis mo ng country pabalik ng LA. Then why were you here? Anong sadya mo at nag-punta ka dito kahapon? My mind is suddenly in an unexpected turmoil. 

‘Did he say why he wanted to see me? Has he said anything?’ 

‘Nothing, Mam.’ My forehead creased. ‘Would you like another coffee, Mam?’

‘Yes please. And have this cleaned up as well.’

‘Right away Mam.’ 

Nang makalabas ang secretary ko ay kaagad akong napaupo at massage my temple. Biglang sumakit ang ulo ko at para akong nahihilo. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko at the moment pero para akong tuliro at hindi mapakali. 

Why was he here? Is he still here in San Francisco right now? Anong meron at nag-decide siya na magpunta dito kahapon? 

I am thinking of possible answers pero wala akong maisip na rason kung bakit narito ngayon ang best friend ko. My mind is still haywired when suddenly my office phone rings. I press a button to take the call on speaker mode. 

‘Mam, the front desk employee is on the line. The man who was here yesterday is now at the ground floor lobby looking for you.’ bigla akong napapikit sa narinig ko. Ang tagal kong hindi nakasagot dahil hindi ko malaman ang isasagot ko. ‘Mam?’ I think fast. It’s rude if hindi ko siya haharapin at baka isipin pa niya na tinataguan ko siya. Huminga ako ng malalim before answering. ‘Assist him at my office Claudine.’

‘Alright Mam.’

Mabilis kong tiningnan ang sarili ko sa mirror. I quickly tie my hair in a ponytail before checking my face. Mabilis ko rin inayos ang suot kong three-piece business suit before inhaling deep breaths then exhaling them. I need to calm down kahit pa I am panicking right now. My heart is pounding hard and fast and my hands are literally shaking, I feel constipated na hindi ko malaman. Binuksan ko ang laptop ko and place a random folder on top of my desk. Mabilis rin akong uminom ng water before leaning back on my seat. 

Relax Bella. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Calm down. Kaya mo yan. Relax. Kumalma ka Bella. You have to effin calm down. It’s just him. It is just Ziggy. For Christ sake! Kaya nga ako natataranta dahil si Ziggy yun eh! Argh! Umayos ka Pretty Bella Smith! For the sake of your pride and dignity, UMAYOS KA! I murmured underneath my breath then there were knocks at my door. 

‘s**t!’ mabilis akong umayos ng upo and focus my attention at my laptop kunwari. I need to pretend or I will screw my own self in front of him. 

‘Mam, Mr. Reiz is here as you wish.’ maingat akong nag-angat ng head ko then I saw him smiling widely at me. Pinilit ko rin ngumiti pabalik kahit pa alam kong peke lang ang lahat.

‘Ziggy! What are you doing here? Why so sudden?’ I acted normal but I remain seated dahil alam kong kapag tumayo ako ay magko-collapse ako sa floor. My knees are shaking as my feet are sweating. 

‘Hi Bella. Have I come at the wrong time?’ He said while sitting in front of me. Napalunok ako ng makita ko na siya ng malapitan. I have to close my eyes for a second dahil baka matulala ako sa harapan niya involuntarily.

God! How can he be so handsome and still charming kahit pa ang laki-laki ng eyebags niya ngayon? Bakit biglang tila yata mas naging handsome siya sa paningin ko right now? 

‘Kailan ka pa nandito? Hindi mo man lang ako sinabihan para at least alam ko.’ I lean back because our closeness is killing me. I might faint na lang bigla ngayon kung hindi ako dumistansya sa kanya. 

‘How will I tell you when you weren’t answering any of my calls or messages to you?’ there’s a hint of pain in his voice.

‘I was just busy Ziggy. I seldom visit rin our group chat if you noticed.’

‘Iniisip ko tuloy na ayaw mo na sa akin Bella.’ napalunok ako ulit sa sincerity ng voice niya. It slashed a part of my heart dahil alam kong nasasaktan siya. 

‘Nonsense! Bakit ka naman nag-iisip ng ganun?’ 

‘Wala lang. Para kasing ang layo mo na sa akin bigla. Are you doing that on purpose, Bella? Talaga bang you are distancing yourself from me?’ hindi ko alam kung namalik-mata lang ba ako or am I just hallucinating, but I see his eyes are watering. 

‘You know why I have to do that right?’ huminga ako ng malalim when he gets his handkerchief and wipes his eyes. 

‘Will you change your decision if I will tell you something important?’ hindi ako naka-sagot. Sa totoo lang ay ayaw ko naman talaga na lumayo sa kanya, we have been close since mga bata pa kami and being far from him emotionally is sickening. Pero kailangan kasi eh. Kailangan dahil yun ang right thing to do. Kaya kahit pa ayaw ko, I must do it. Not just for his sake, but for my sake as well. ‘Will you reconsider your decision Bella if I tell you what I need to say to you now?’

‘Tell what?’ he immediately stood up at nagpunta sa gilid ko. He kneel in one leg before turning my seat para makaharap siya. Tinitigan ko siya as he take several deep breaths. His hands are shaking and it is freezing cold na nakapatong sa magkabilang tuhod ko. 

‘I just realized it recently, just a couple of days ago.’ 

‘About what?’ kinakabahan ako. He is so serious at halatang kinakabahan rin siya. 

‘About you, about me. About us.’ huminga ako ng malalim.

‘Nag-away na naman ba kayo ni Phoebe that you have to flew hundred miles just to talk to me personally? You could have just called me Ziggy. Ang layo ng Pilipinas dito para lang makausap mo ako.’ he held my hand tightly na mas lalong nagpakaba sa akin. Nabibingi na ako sa lakas ng kabog ng heart ko. 

‘It’s not that Bella. Hindi kami nag-away ni Phoebe, kami pa rin. She already left the country a day after kong umalis ng bansa.’

‘Then what is it? Bakit kailangan mo pa talagang pumunta rito para lang diyan sa sasabihin mo sa akin?’

‘Because I need to see what your reaction will be.’ My eyebrow raised. 

‘Sabihin mo na ang sasabihin mo Ziggy because I have an important meeting. I need to be in the conference room for a very important corporate meeting.’ I need to lie like I always did when it comes to him. Ayoko pero kailangan. He tightens his grip on my hand like his life depends on it kaya mas lalo akong nagtaka. 

‘Alright. I love you Bella. I just realized it the other day.’ biglang lumaki ang mata ko sa narinig ko. 

Ano daw? Have I heard it right?

‘WHAT!’ 

‘I LOVE YOU BELLA! AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!’ 

Baka naman he love me as his friend and he is just afraid that he might lose our ties dahil sa paglayo ko sa kanya. Yun lang siguro yun. 

‘I love you too, best friend. We will always be friends, come what may.’ I smile sincerely at him. 

‘You don’t get it Bella!’ He frustratedly stood up at lumayo ng konti sa akin. Then he looked at me again with a much deeper determination written all over his face. ‘Mahal kita Pretty Bella Smith. Not as my best friend, but as you.’ natulala ako sa sinabi niya then he quickly walked towards me and pulled me up. ‘I love you! I love you as a woman and not just as a friend.’ tears start to fall from my eyes. 

Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi sa akin yan Ziggy? I’ve waited for it for a long time pero ngayon mo lang sinabi sa akin. Bakit ngayon lang? Bakit ngayon pa? My inner self is grieving with excruciating pain and is crying out loud. 

‘I… That can’t be!’ lumayo ako sa kanya but he quickly held my hand bago pa ako tuluyan na makalayo. 

‘Why? Nahuli na ba ako? Am I too late already? I love you Bella. Now I am sure that what I feel for you is real. Mahal kita bilang ikaw at hindi bilang childhood friend ko.’ his tears begin to fall as well. Napahagulgol ako sa sakit at lungkot. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight.

‘I can’t love you back Ziggy. I’m sorry.’ bulong ko sa kanya then in agony, I walk towards the door. 

‘WHY! WHY CAN’T YOU LOVE ME BACK BELLA!’ I look back at him and he is crying. It breaks my heart more seeing him like this. But I will break many people’s hearts if I give in to this.

‘Because I already love someone else.’ I saw great pain in his eyes as his tears falls continuously bago ko pa siya iniwan at lumabas na ng office ko. 

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