Empathy

what happens when you fall in love part 1

what happens when you fall in love is the simplest thing you can imagine. the fact that you lose your brain. it is simple as that that you stop thinking straight for once in my life I did not have to think straight..... and more did I want to. in this case, I was interested in getting to know amina in ways that were beyond my brains ability. some times that was good, but also it could be dangerous as when we first met in high school, I was running into people and lockers that being said I was not thinking. the very fabric of my being was altered in a way that is different from me being in my head all the time writing creepypastas. that was when I knew what was happening, the idea of falling in love.

to be completely honest, I was surprised that she was interested in creepypasta. that was the kicker.

she looked like a girlie girl, but inside was a horror fan. that was what I did not expect. she had her own group of friends that were not like mind at that time. but something in opposites must attract each other.

when I saw her, she was wearing modest clothing, but she was still someone who was different from how she dressed. she was full of spunk and zest for life.

the fact is now you would not know the difference of the girl because of how she dresses now. she dresses like everyone else at this point in college instead of dresses. it was interesting when we just turned 18 that we shared our forest kiss. it was awkward at first to kiss someone who is also female instead of male. let's just say that being in love with another girl was exotic to me. That's why I kept running into stuff when I realized.

I never had that problem with guys as they were boring, and I was with one guy. that was problematic for me. I don't want to say this but, My first boyfriend cheated on me the first week, and I noticed that I could care less.

when I kissed her, I felt like I could trust her. that the being said, I never felt that way before. also, when you fall in love, you will have heightened emotions. that that is also goes with not thinking straight. but there was something about trusting her.... I never felt jealous once.

usually, when I was starting a new relationship, I was insecure and jealous. but that was before I started with the creepy pasta. that was horrible for me..... when I did not understand creepypasta or horror things. as I was dealing with depression because of the bullying and low self-esteem. I was different then, and I really did not understand what was happening to me. I just knew that some people were feeling horrible and that they would be taking out on well-meaning people. some people call them bullying, but I know better.... dark triad traits and immaturity. which is not a good mix. that is why I still felt horrible about myself for the longest time, but I never bullied or annoyed anyone!

if you are what dark triad means, it refers to three personality traits that are often associated with negative and harmful behavior. These traits are:

1. Machiavellianism: characterized by manipulation, exploitation, and a lack of empathy.

1. Narcissism: marked by grandiosity, self-importance, and a need for admiration.

2. Psychopathy: defined by impulsivity, aggression, and a lack of remorse or empathy.

People who exhibit these traits tend to prioritize their own interests and desires and be an annoyance to people around them.

let's just say I read a few true crime books in my days, that being it was started with the book- bitter almonds.. the story fellows this one person who tried to poison people with tainted exdedern pills... but was trying to kill her husband. other than the horror and true crime, I don't really read anything else. to be honest i a writer but not much of a reader. let's say that school ruined reading for me. that being said, the only books that I read in school were silverwing trilogy about the runt bat who goes on adventures to fi d this, that and the other thing. it was an animal based fantasy that I continued to read after the school assignment was done. and that was in grade seven.... since then, they tried to make me read something about the Thanksgiving pilgrims ..... that was what ruined it for me.

that being said, the other thing that happens when you fall in love is that you can not stop thinking about the other person. it is not of an obsessive nature for that. I think people could help. this, on the other hand, you can't.

the fact is that I am probably thinking about her as we speak. that was what I did not know able was the constant thinking that would affect everything for me.

also, when I think of her, I do things that do not make sense to me or anyone else.

to be honest, I am a dork at times.

but that was just how i function when I am in love with amina. to be honest, I still walk into stuff from time to time.

the idea that we have alot in common was still a surprise to me that was what I will be gabbing about that for years to come.

the fact that my sirenhead clique like and accepted amina was enough to make thing that I don't have to have second thoughts on her. what I found that they are pretty exclusive when it came to friends. so the fact that she won them over and they included her in things for that matter.

they thought we are a great couple was still good for me.

we are still a big part for that group. that was what I thought other day. I never though that she would make me happy in this first place. I though she was just going to be a friend and that we were going to just be that...... friends.

but that was another thing at another time. now that k was found to be skipping english lit I have to go to the darn class for until the end of the year. the same with amina. she has to go as well. kind of annoying but it had to be done.

the idea if going to college English lit was horrible but I had to do it . take the freaking class. with Clair and friends. jeez this is going to be hard for me. as I said ......I hate Shakespeare and that stuff. but.....

that very thing that annoys me is that I have to be In the same room as Clair. I could not wait to go back to my dorm and watch American horror story ..... breathe a sigh of relief.

this is a rude awaking for us that we have to go the English lit class.

but then again I have to think positively about things. this could help me somehow but how I don't know. when I walked into the room it was something that I did not expect. was the idea that were reading popular books on English lit. forget about Shakespeare and that boring stuff. it was all modern stuff that I could tolerate in some sense..... had I known I would not have skipped to be honest with you.

this time they were reading the love hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood. there were just starting when I walked into the room.

it is actually good to.read and I can get caught up with popular culture.