Crossed Roads

I don't remember how exactly I fell into the obscure, deep hole of my fears. But I remember that I was afraid to open my lids and face my ominous fears that make my heart trumpet. I remember that I was eager just to stand still, eyes closed, and wait until when the nightmare is over. But I couldn't. Because I knew that if I don't open my eyes and encounter my fears, I would be stuck here forever and would never find the light, I opened my eyes and saw a bloodcurdling episode from one of my old nightmares. I wanted to cry and shout but I couldn't! More and more episodes I was beholding, and one was worse than the following; No, I wouldn't surrender! I was falling deeper and deer into despair. "No, I am not going to lose, to surrender!" I shouted into the darkness. I started to laugh louder and louder, and the laughter turned into the singing of the bells --      Suddenly, I wake up, my heart racing, sweat cascading down my cheeks. I look at my window; the sun is unhurriedly rising from the horizon -- the lurid night is finally over. I sigh—another nightmare. Since my dad died from covid-19 or rather the implications of that diseases that engulfed and plagued the whole world, I started having nightmares. My mum advised me to see a psychiatrist, but I refused. I don't think that a psychiatrist would help. I stand up and head to the bathroom to get myself ready for a jog. When I am finally ready, I plug earphones into my ears and make my way out of the apartment. When I am outside, I start to jog down the narrow streets. Running is exciting, I feel alive again. I add more speed; as music becomes faster, I add more and more speed. Every step, every breath of early morning's fresh air, helps to dull the night terrors. I notice a girl in a tracksuit, a yoga mat hanging over her left shoulder. I move past her. Then without warning, she catches my arm from behind and pulls me back as hard as she could. My first thought is, 'what the hell?' Then I see a car racing out of the underground parking. The car passed in front of me, one more step, and I would have been run over. " "You saved me," I turn to the young woman that just saved my life. Her blue eyes mirror my emotions: bewilderment, fear, and relief.