Catastrophic

My eyes flew open at the sound of the EAS alert on my phone. Tornado warning. I rolled over to open my laptop to look at the current weather radar and get a grip on what was going on. My eyes were still heavy from the previous nights productive storm chase. The adrenaline subsided when the storm that triggered the warning was a safe distance away and not on track to come any further my way. I set my laptop beside my pillow and watched each new radar scan give me the picture of what the atmosphere was doing. As I watched intently I slowly reached down for my gray and white ball of fur, Eva. I reminisced on the night before. The chase. I found myself rather perplexed. Why wasn't I scared at the other worldly creation of nature last night? Why did it give me such inner calmness? Is it because at the base of it all, I've embraced the chaos of my life? Maybe deep inside the inner workings of my soul are just that...a tornado. I paused sensing that I was beginning to spiral. I coaxed my sleepy Eva to move closer to me so I could cuddle with her. She was my most loyal and trusted confidante. Woman's best friend. So what led me here? Why am I the way I am? I have no stories of childhood trauma and completely lack mommy/daddy issues. I had a life of privilege growing up. I didn't want for much of anything despite being middle class. My parents were loving and very happily married. I can not blame my childhood for anything. I made all of my messes on my own. Here is my story. It's rather plain, at least to me. It's full of twists and turns and how I turn simple things in to complete catastrophes. I am all and all a disaster. Not even the natural kind either. My disaster was one hundred percent man (woman?) made.