B.A.D.D. Choices

Brood by Blood Presents B.A.D.D. Choices Tramell “Lalalou” Kelly The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor does the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself. Ezekiel 18; 20 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sow, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6: 7-8 Leland KellyB.A.D.D. Choices© 2019, Leland KellySelf-Published COPYRIGHT All rights reserved.No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, stored in a database and / or published in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Thoughts Pardon my candor but sometimes I feel like I am a terrible person but not in the sense that you should hate me but because I fall victim to a circumstance I have no control over. Have you ever had a moment in life where it seems that no matter how much you pray, how much you live right, bad luck will always find a way to haunt you down and find you? In other words do you feel like you are paying the cost for the consequences of someone else’s mistakes? For so long I questioned what was my chemical makeup, how did I come to be and most importantly who am I? And in all my journey of enlightenment I came to the realization that I am no different than the 70’s megahit by the Mighty Temptations song called “Ball of Confusion No sooner than I started to reach the core of my existence I was suddenly hit with a realization that I, for one had no idea about. From my selfishness, to my womanizing ways I had no clue that it was all the workings of a higher existence. I soon stared to peel back the layers of my inner me and was hit with the unfortunate reality that I am a shitty person. So who is to blame for my shortcomings, my misfortunes, my a******y, my lying, my scheming ways? ME, thats who. Shortly after my coming to Jesus moment I was introduced to this little thing called generational curses. A generational curse could be described as a curse passed down from one generation to another due to rebellion against God. No sooner than I started to reach the core of my existence I was suddenly hit with a realization that I, for one had no idea about. From my selfishness, to my womanizing ways I had no clue that it was all the workings of a higher existence. I soon stared to peel back the layers of my inner me and was hit with the unfortunate reality that I am a shitty person. So who is to blame for my shortcomings, my misfortunes, my a******y, my lying, my scheming ways? ME, thats who. Shortly after my coming to Jesus moment I was introduced to this little thing called generational curses. A generational curse could be described as a curse passed down from one generation to another due to rebellion against God.The bible speaks about generational curses in the form of God punishing or placing the sins of the father on his fourth and fifth generation which is saying that the choices you are making today may not be of your own volition nor would you pay for your own decisions. Now don’t go on misquoting me stating that you don’t have to answer for your sins because unfortunately that day is still coming. In life you have to come to the realization that you are ultimately in charge of your destiny which is why God gave us free will. A will that is ultimately not free, it takes focus, determination and a steadfast relationship with our Father who is in heaven to stay on the beaten path. In all you do keep God first, otherwise you’ll end up making some BADD choices. In life you have to come to the realization that you are ultimately in charge of your destiny which is why God gave us free will. A will that is ultimately not free, it takes focus, determination and a steadfast relationship with our Father who is in heaven to stay on the beaten path. In all you do keep God first, otherwise you’ll end up making some BADD choices. Chapter 1 Chaper 1Briana As the words begin to merge, my eyes soon begin to drift deeper into the nothingness of the abyss. I had been trying to read these business reports on my computer for the last past ten minutes but it seems that every time I get started, my eyes would eventually begin to recede into the back of my head giving me minute signs of temporary blindness. “Who am I kidding”; I had been trying my best to stay awake ever since I walked into the building this morning. I guess it was a good thing I was the head of the marketing department and I really had no one to answer to besides the big boss. If he had felt in any way like I was feeling even he wouldn’t have anything to say if he knew the kind of night I had. The more I try to focus on the screen facing me, the more my head commence to pounds which in turn causes my many spells of blindness to rear its ugly head once again. Seconds later a slight tap on my door was enough to interrupt my third act of bobbing for apples. To my surprise, it was my sister and partner in crime from last night, Angie. She was one of my baby sisters and truly one of my best friends. From childhood to adulthood we had been rocking like a boat on high tide and believe me there was no iceberg in sight. I was unquestionably surprised to see her this early in the morning, seeing that we all made an attempt to make it home only seconds after the clock struck six. Here it was 9:30 and this heffa was looking just as good as she did last night. “So what you doing up this early hoochie, I just knew that I wouldn’t be hearing from none of yall until later today” I yammered. She replied, “Well that’s the thing about getting a divorce, you can come and go as you please, plus I needed to talk to you about something important.” After getting herself situated, her smile quickly shifted from this bright as the sun look to a dark and gloomy one; like the ones you see on the pain chart in the doctor’s office. “What seems to be the problem sis, talk to me tell me what’s up?” I stated. Without getting too much into her business, I just knew that I was going to be hearing something about this nigga Rodney again. Rodney was her good for nothing ex-husband. He is what you would call a nothing ass nigga, and not to be disrespectful to any of the MEN in the world but this nigga Rodney is what I like to think of as the scum of the earth. From cheating to lying, he has it all covered. What is worse, my sis would always continue to fall for it every single time, well that was until she walked in on him and the babysitter banging each other’s brains out while their three- year old was sleep three feet away. I was more than prepared to take on some more of the ongoing Rodney saga but she totally threw me for a loop when she slid a pregnancy piss stick across my desk. “Hold up chick, tell me this is not what I think it is?” I stated with a hint of hesitation. Reluctantly, she slowly nodded her head to affirm my question. “Well, this is some s**t to really jump start my day.” I thought in my head before shaking it. Ten minutes ago I was nodding off more than a narcolepsy patient on sleeping pills and now my sissy was pregnant. How did we even get to this point, let alone so fast? I let the thoughts continue to roll about in my head as I tried to rein in on my true feelings of the moment. Without giving much thought to how I was going to be perceived, I asked: “How?” She looked at me with a look of confusion and responded, “What you mean how, b***h, I had s*x?” I just begin to shake my head because I knew she wore a blonde streak when we were younger as a way of showing her rebellious side but I fully expected her to get this without an explanation. Once the question really sunk in, she was able to grasp the real question I was truly asking. She just stated, “Hell I am still having a hard time believing it myself; took me about six test to finally convince myself that I wasn’t losing my shit.” “So who’s the father?” I asked knowing I knew the answer before asking the question, prior to her answer she let out an elongated exhalation and uttered, “Rodney.” Chapter 2 Angie As I sit out in the parking lot of Briana’s job I found myself uncertain as to should I even getting out and face the drill sergeant at this time. I had spent the majority of the last three hours drinking water and misreading pregnancy sticks. Well, maybe I wasn’t misreading them I just didn’t want to believe the lies and malarkey them little shits were trying to tell me. I knew I had no choice but to head up to the twentieth floor and face this ass- chewing I knew I was about to receive. It wasn’t like I didn’t deserve it. For years, Briana has always been the one telling me that I can do better and in the back of my mind I knew I could but what can you tell a person was madly in love. I allowed the cheating, the lying the slip-ups and a whole host of other issues all in the name of love. In return, all I received was a three year old, who is my absolute world, and bad debt. Oh yeah, how can I forget, another nine months of carrying a child that I nor he is in any position to be taking care of. As I start this extended expedition up to her office I begin to think back over the last two tumultuous years of my life. With no highs to speak of, I was left to deal with two years’ worth of low lows. From being cheated on, lied to and emotionally misused. This man was pretty much the jack of all trades when it came to being the worst kind of man. I finally finished up the journey and tried my best to wipe away the misery I felt deep down inside. I knew that if there was anyone I could talk to about what I was dealing with it would be my big sis. She may give me a hard time about it but I know that every word she says will be straight out of love. A trait I knew she picked up from our mom before her passing some time back. Briana was the oldest of our mom’s four girls, being five years older than me; she was the spitting image of my mom in every sense of the word. From the way she looked, to her style of dress and even down to the way she talked. It was like God made her just for our mom and their relationship flourished because of it.