So Confused

Chapter 8

The day didn’t finish without me hitting my f*****g brother. Ihinatid ako ni Karlwin dito sa bahay. I’d rather be pissed by that kesa kimkimin tong inis ko sakanya.

I didn’t waste anytime para hamabalusin ang kapatid ko. This asshole.

“What---AW! Amelie-!! Aw! Stop! Stop!”

“This is for Jade you asshole!”

“I said stop. It hurts amelie!! Aw!”

“MASAKIT?” I sarcastically asked

Hindi pa ako nakuntento at sinikmuraan ko siya. Nagpamewang ako sa namamaluktot kong kapatid at huminga ng malalim.

“You should have not touched her kung ganyang hindi ka pa handa. Napakagago mo naman!” I screamed at him.

Ng mawala siguro ang sakit ng pagkakasuntok ko ay nahiga siya sa sahig. He looked at the ceiling with his worried sad eyes

“I’m just afraid.” He sadly said.

“Afraid of what? You are already 28, papa won’t be against it!”

“You don’t understand me Amelie”

Ikinunot ko ang noo ko at kinuha ulit ang cane ko. This guy deserves a beating again. Talagang hindi ko siya maiintindihan kasi maayos naman ang lahat kung magiging responsible lang siya!. He is settled, he is getting old, wala ng pumipigil sakanya bumuo ng pamilya. What the hell is his problem?

“Don’t hit me.” He said with his usual warning voice.

I rolled my eyes and throw ayaw my cane.

Naupo siya sa kama niya at tumingala ulit sa ceiling.

“I’m afraid I cannot be a good partner and a dad Amelie”

“Bakit naman?” Nakakunot noo kong tanong

“Because I haven’t seen that. I haven’t imagine that. I haven’t planned for that.”

“Hindi naman kasi yun pinagaaralan, you’ll learn it through the process”

“Can I tell it to Jade kapag hindi na matigil sa pag iyak ang anak ko? Can I tell it to her that I don’t know what to do? I can’t be it for now Amelie. Besides, ayaw ko pa talaga.”

Pinangunutan ko ulit siya ng noo. “You know what Aurelio Jose? Napipikon ako sayo. All along I had thought of you as a great man. But this, you won’t take responsibility of your doings is such a lame move. Bahala ka sa buhay mo, I wish you a life with no regrets!”

Padabog akong bumaba ng kwarto niya at nakasalubong si Papa.

“Oh My dear Amelie. Is there something you ne---“

“Talk to your f*****g son instead of pissing me off old man” I cut him off at mabilis na umalis ng bahay.

Magsama kayo, parehas kayong nakakainis.

.

“You know what? I think you should quit smoking” I told Karlwin.

We were hanging out in this place he claims to be his favorite.

Well maganda naman talaga. May fish pond at isang mini cottage. Fresh ang hangin at hindi masyadong mainit.

“I’ll quit if you’ll kiss me”

“Then please continue rupturing your lungs” I sarcastically said and rolled my eyes.

“I don’t know, I can’t stop smoking. Sinubukan ko na to dati pero hindi ko magawa”

“It won’t make you live longer.”

“I know. But you know there’s these things that are good when they’re bad.”

“Whatever Karlwin.”

Hindi na rin siya sumagot. Kung ayaw niya, siya rin lang naman mahihirapan. Sayang naman kung gagraduate siya ng engineering tapos may lung cancer siya diba?

“Next time I’ll take you to my mother’s favorite place. Maganda dun. But it is too high.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Is levian still seeing you?” he asked. Napatingin naman ako sakanya pero bad move pala kasi bumuga siya ng usok. Pwe ang baho.

I stood up at tumingin na lang sa naglalanguyang isda sa pool.

“He is always bringing morris to my apartment.”

“Morris?” He asked

“His dog”

“Ow that pug”

“Its cute. Maamo, unlike the others.

Napangiwi naman siya sa sinabi ko. He sip again to his cigarette at bumuga nanaman.

“Levian likes you right?”

Tiningnan ko siya at pinangunutan ng noo. “Why are you asking me that? Ask him, not me”

“He does. Are you not interested in him?”

“The only thing I want now is to avoid complexity. I just want to live without the hassle.”

“So you are not interested in him?”

Napaisip naman ako. “Well kuya Levian is quite an ideal man. Good character, physical appearance, matalino pa. There is nothing not to like about him.”

“How about me?” He asked

I looked at him shocked. Hindi ko alam kung seryoso ba siya. But he was frowning and looking directly into my eyes. After a second, he grinned.

“Why would I even compare myself to that guy” He murmured.

My phone ringed. It was an unregistered number.

I signed Karlwin na sasagutin ko lang at lumakad muna ako palabas ng cottage.

“Hello. Who is this?”

“Amelie? Ah, its levian”

“Kuya Levi?”

“Ah Ye----AMELIEEEEE”

Inalis ko ang cellphone sa tenga ko at tiningnan ito. Zylea is screaming on the other line. Wth?

“-sige na girl. Galang gala na ako. Wala ka daw kasi sa apartment mo sabi ni Kuya Levian” dinig kong sabi niya ng ibalik ko sa tenga ko ang cellphone.

“Saan ba?”

“Mall lang naman daw. Sige na! Please pleaseeeee”

I sighed. Wala naman na atang ibang ipapakita sa akin si Karlwin bukod sa alaga niyang tilapia.

“Okay. Wait for me in 30 minutes.”

“Okayyyyy, sabi mo yan ha! Oh kuya 30 minutes daw, ayusin mo na yang buhok moooo”

Then the line went off. Ang ingay niya talaga. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya natatagalan samahan ni Kuya Levian. I feel like they are going to be best buddies dahil sa malakas na trip ni Zylea.

Pumasok ako sa loob para kausapin si Karlwin na uuwi na ako.

“Mauna na ako sayo.”

“I’ll join you”

I looked at him if he was serious. Actually hindi ko alam kung pwede because I’m with kuya levian, it would be awkward.

“I’m with Levian”

“The more reason I’d need to join you.” He said before wearing his jacket at nagpaunang lumakad palabas.

.

“GIRLLLLLLLL” Zylea shouted and waved her hand. Malayo pa lang ay nakikita ko ng nangunot ang noo ni Kuya levian pagtingin sa kasama ko. But he still managed to smile at me.

“Oh Karlwin, what a coincidence. Sama ka samin?” Zylea asked nung makalapit na kami sa kanila.

“Sure” he said with a smirk then glanced at kuya Levian.

“Okay, this would be fun, a date with the Rivarez Brothers” She said

“So you knew about this two being brothers?”

“Oo naman girl, hindi mo ba nakikita ang ID nila?”

Do I look like I’m interested to look at their ID?

“Anyway. Saan ba tayo pupunta?” I asked her

“Tanungin mo si Kuya Levian, Tara karlwin, parang gusto ko magpicture sa booth na yun.”

Wala ng nagawa si Karlwin dahil hinila na siya ni Zylea. You can’t really do nothing against to Zylea’s will. She doesn’t always need approval. Impulsive af.

“So where are we gonna go?” I asked him.

Napatitig pa ako sakanya dahil iniba niya ang hairstyle niya. He split his hair into the middle. And I can say na bagay yun sakanya, para akong may kasamang koreano.

“Ah, whe-where do you wanna go?” He asked without looking into my eyes.

I chuckled and reached for his hair “Pinilit ka ba ni Zylea na gawin to sa buhok mo?”

“Pangit ba?”

“No, it suits you” I smiled at him and pulled his chin up. “There, annyeonghaseyo”

He smiled at me too and pulled me papunta sa isang bench.

“Nakakapagod tumayo. Kumain ka na ba?”

“Yes, namingwit kami ni Karlwin ng isda dun sa fishpond niya”

Bigla ko namang narealize na dapat hindi ko na binanggit si Karlwin dahil hindi nga maganda ang relationship nila. He frowned.

“Pero kanina pa yun, gutom nanaman ako hehe” Palusot ako at ngumiti ng awkward sakanya.

“So he brought you there. Anyway, san ba dito masarap kumain” He looked around to look for a food court or restaurant.

“Dun na lang” I pointed a resto with good chicken meals. Sabi ni Jade masarap daw ang pagkain dito.

I texted Zylea kung nasaan kami and patiently waited for our order.

“Morris has never seen you for long.”

“I’m sorry, I had just some issue to fix. Next week, bawi ako”

“Sabi mo yan ha.” He smiled at me.

Ang pogi niya talaga kapag nangiti, yung babae nga sa counter kanina, nagiinput ng order sa computer niya pero nagdo-drool kay Kuya Levian. When you saw him waking somewhere, matic na titigil ka para pagmasdan siya. Hindi naman siya siga maglakad, but he has his way of getting your attention. Bonus pa yung napakabait niya.

“Umorder na kayo?” Zylea asked nung dumating sila.

Karlwin sat beside kuya Levian. No choice siya kasi tumabi na saakin si Zylea. Kaya naman siguro nilang wag magbanggayan sa harap ng pagkain.

“Yeah, Amelie just told me which part do you want.”

“AHHHHHH, you’re so good Amelie. Ang galing mo sigurong maging girlfriend.” Yumapos yapos pa siya sa Braso ko.

“What the hell Zylea. Anong sinasabi mo?” I wishpered to her.

“Ang bagal mo kasi girl. Ako na bahala sayo” she wishpered back.

“I don’t need a lovelife zylea. Stop it”

“You are so introvert, you need someone to socialize with”

“Go bug hazel, bakit ako? Saka nanjan naman kayo nila maki, I don’t need any other social group”

“The intimate socializing Amelie” She wiggled her brows after whispering it to me

Feeling ko naman nagblush ako sa pagkakasabi niya kaya kinurot ko siya sa legs niya. Napaigtad siya

“Ahehe, wala yun, ang lambing talaga ng kaibigan ko no Kuya Levian?” dagdag niya pa

Kuya Levian just awkwardly smiled while Karlwin frowned even more.

Dumating ang pagkain namin kaya hindi na ako nakasagot pa kay zylea.

“Eh? Bakit to breast? Wings gusto ko eh” reklamo ni Zylea.

I looked at Kuya Levian and smirked at Zylea “Ring a bell?”

She pouted. I guess she remembered when he said that adobo was my favorite.

“I guess we can still replace it?” Kuya levian asked

“No need, that is still zylea’s second favorite part diba?.” I replied. “Kain na tayo?”

Zylea pouted once more bago tinusok ng tinidor ang chicken niya.

“I thought you were doing business with Dad?” Kuya Levian asked Karlwin

“I had finished it early so I have my whole time working for something else.” He replied.

Kuya Levian stared at him. “This time you won’t have it”

Karlwin drink his juice before looking at kuya levian and smirked.

“You think so?” then he glanced at me.

I can see how Kuya Levian clenched his fist. What are they talking about? Para nanaman silang nagsusukatan ng tingin.

“Burpppppp” I disgustingly looked at zylea who was flashing her awkward smile.

“Time for dessert hehe” she added.

But I guess it was helpful. Nangiti ng di oras si Karlwin while Kuya Levian tousled her hair.

Mas nagmumukha tuloy siyang mas bata sakin pag magkakasama kami. Well kung di lang siya matangkad sakin, aakalain mo talagang mas matanda ako.

Pumila sila ni Karlwin para umorder ng dessert daw. I know Zylea is just giving me and Kuya Levi an alone time. At dahil dun mas nakakaramdam tuloy ako ng awkward.

“Is Karlwin bugging you?” he asked me

“No. He just invites me na mag hangout most of the time.”

He held my hand na nakapatong sa table and looked at me with those sad eyes.

“I’m afraid you’ll get hurt because of me.”

Pinangunutan ko siya ng noo “Why? He is not harassing me”

“Not that Amelie…” He paused. “Nevermind. Just please, don’t entertain him.”

“I’m not interested with your brother” I said and laughed.

“For now, but he have his ways.” He said that directly into my eyes. It’s like telling me that I’ll surely fall. That I’ll be loving Karlwin Rivarez.

I smiled at him. I don’t want to talk about it. As long as Karlwin put me in no harm, wala kaming magiging problema. Besides I’m not really interested in him… yet.