The Missing Piece

Texting & Honesty

Oliver: Hey, I know that kissing you was moving a little fast, but I didn't want to lose my chance with you. 

Me(Molly): I don't know that it was actually moving too fast. I like you. I wanted to kiss you. I just.. I don't know how I should feel..

Oliver: It's alright, I just want to talk to you like you suggested. Get to know each other a little more. It's been over a decade since we were in school together, and even then we didn't really talk. I had a crush on you, but didn't really know you. 

Me: Well.. what would you like to know?

Oliver: well... lets start off with the deep questions.. like.. what's your favorite color? 

Me: lol.. well starting off with the intense questions aren't we?.. I guess you were serious about getting to know me. 

Oliver: I mean yeah.. I'll start. My favorite color.. is *deep breath* Black

Me: THAT'S NOT A COLOR..  That's the absence of color

Oliver: still my favorite..

Me: ok.. ok I guess that was a deep question in a sense.. in that it makes no sense LOL. I guess it's only fair you know mine now. It's blue, but not like any kind of blue. Like the blue of the Carolina Sky. 

Oliver: I get that, I mean you see it everyday though. 

Me: Yes, I know. 

Oliver: I feel as though there is more behind that than what you are saying..

Me: There is.. I may as well tell you. I want to start this out with the complete truth and honesty. So you know what you are getting. I don't want to open up to someone and then they bolt as soon as I let them in.. especially you. You have been so amazing with Emalin and helping me. I have come so far in such a short amount of time. I'm sure that most of it has been you coming into our lives. 

Oliver: I would really like it if we exclusively told the truth, even if it might hurt sometimes. I would rather be hurt by the truth than to be deceived by a lie. 

Me: Same. So.. here it goes.. It started the night of Liam's funeral. Emalin was with my mom, but not without protest. I'm sure she was terrified of losing me too. I guess it was intuition for her, because she almost did lose me that night. I sat around.. crying, eating, crying, throwing up, and contemplating taking my life. I thought of all the ways I could do it. I settled on overdose.. when going to grab whatever medicines I could find from the cabinet in the kitchen, the sun was already coming through the window. I had made it through my first night after the funeral. It wasn't my first night without Liam, because it took a few days after the accident to plan and get everything together. This was the first night, where I had nothing planned the next day. 

Oliver: Molly... you really don't have to do this right now.

Me: I want.. scratch that.. I need to tell you. I looked out the window and realized that I had survived. I could try to survive the next hour.. day.. week.. and however long it took for me to live instead of just survive. Not just for me, but for Emalin. So I bet you are wondering what this has to do with my favorite color... the color of the sky was the most beautiful blue I had ever seen. 

Oliver: ... I'm really glad you told me about this moment in your life.

Me: Actually, you are the only person, well the only alive person, I have told. I used to go by Liam's grave site and talk to him. After a while it was kind of natural. I would go and talk with my departed husband. Sometimes, I could guess what his response would be and laugh like he was still with me.. I realize that sounds crazy. 

Oliver: It sounds like you were trying to heal.

Me: Why are you so good at listening.. you weren't supposed to be this good to me. 

Oliver: I told myself that if I ever got the chance to have your attention or even better, your affection, that I would not mess it up. 

Me: This absolutely seems too good to be true.

Oliver: I guess only time will tell.. So.... Would you and Emalin like to do something tomorrow?

Me: yes.. I really would. 

Oliver: great, I'll see you in the morning.. 9am

Me: WHAT? It's summertime... why 9am?

Oliver: That's exactly why.. its summertime. It's either 9am or 9pm when it's not so hot.. would you rather go earlier?

Me: see you at 9am :)