Her Broken Bad Guy Angel

Peter POV: I trotted slowly, it will be a miserable day. I was seething, but the weather was encouraging enough; It was a chilling morning, there has been an heavy downpour earlier,the cold winter wind had with it clouds so sombre and a rain so penetrating. I knew all eyes were on me, everyone in the school already knew, I was quite popular. The same question was on everybody's mind, Why was I in school today. I couldn't answer that either. I lost my mom yesterday, Every normal human being would have stayed at home today or atleast be anywhere else but here. I wasn't normal then. I walked slowly towards the class I was a bit late, I guess I could be pardoned for that. My eyes were red, from a sleepless night not tears. I haven't been able to squeeze out a single tear. I was far too relieved to cry. She has been in the hospital for the past 2weeks feeling excruciating pain. I could see the pain in her eyes. she also wanted it to end. The pain was too much for her to bear. She had become very lean and pale in the past few days. It was messing up my visual memories of her. I couldn't see past her pale face in my head in contrast to her radiant and chubby healthy self. The cancer ate every bit of her and left her as an empty shell. It was such a depression sight which will haunt me forever. I really loved her but didn't get the chance to bond with her. I was so busy living out school on a high. All I ever tought about was getting girls and winning the next football matches. I was a crucial member of the school football perhaps the best. My school football team is one of the best in the district. Football matches meant a chance to win and get more love from girls from both our school and whichever school we were up against. I was mostly the star of the show and I did savor those moments. It was always a thrill. I tried to bond with her in the last few days. I skipped football practices and went directly to the hospital from school. I made little conversation and humored her. she found it difficult to talk and it grew worse daily till she couldn't anymore. I watched her fade away on the hospital bed. It was such an horrible feeling to watch someone you love waste away while you could do nothing but stare. A couple of my friends from the football team and my best friend Ralph visited often in the hospital. They always tried to cheer me up, their gesture seemed sincere but I would rather have them not visiting. There was an underlying feeling they came to see me at my most vulnerable state. Too see if I had cracked under pressure. I always carried an air of supremacy around whenever I walked. They came to to see if I still had that pride. Their visitation seemed sincere and was paid out of concern but the feeling was still there. The most depressing part was Dad not being with her in the hospital till she died. Dad always travelled for business, he was rarely around. I couldn't blame him for that, I was also busy maintaining a classic life from him being a successful businessman was why I had so much access to money and maintain a classic Alpha male lifestyle. He flew in from outside the country when he heard she died. He cried so bitterly while I watched In anger. I know he really loves her and the feelings was obviously mutual, I tought it was enough reason to be at her bedside at her final moments. She would have seeked solace with both of us beside her to make up for the years of neglect which she never complained about. She was always quite contented with seeing me happy from Winning a match for the team or getting a girl I was eyeing for so long and my Dad from making a successful business trip. Neither of us noticed she was falling Ill, which she kept to herself. I did noticed she seemed weak and tired but I assumed it was stress from taking care of the house. I didn't realize she was very sick until it was so late. She said the doctor told her, her condition was very critical. She didn't want to bother or worry either of us and kept it to herself. I know she didn't bother to tell us because neither of us ever showed any concern. I felt distraughted at every tought of it. I knew why I didn't stay back at home, I was scared my guilt will eat me up in my silence. My monsters will use my idleness against me. I will hide among people where they can't haunt me. I walked into the classroom, A teacher was in class already. It was the Biology Teacher Mr. Whitehead; he seemed like a good man and a gentle soul perhaps one of the class favorite teacher. He seemed so loved for a number of reason I was oblivion to. but I rarely pay attention in his class. I was a backbencher, I was either gisting with my friends or surfing through the media on my phone. I felt so many pair of eyes set on me, I greeted Mr. White who also stared as I walked to my usual sit. He called me back "I heard what happened today Mr. Ben, I'm so sorry about the death of your Mother. May her soul rest in peace" he said "Thank you sir" I replied I saw his mouth opening again but he shut it immediately. I knew he wanted to ask me the obvious question. Why was I in school today. He refrained from it. He knew it was none of his business, I respected and appreciated him for that. I walked back to my sit "Hey man, I'm so sorry about your loss " "Thank You " "I and the rest of the football team planned to pay you a visit at home today. We didn't know you will come to school" " I appreciated your concern " "I'm so sorry man, may her soul rest in peace " "Amen" I sighed. I knew I was going to hear a lot of those word today. I was right. I was treated like an egg about to c***k. I recieved condolences from literally everyone, both familiar and unfamiliar faces. Each was the same statement. I was starting to get frustrated and irritated with hearing the words over and over again. I was not comfortable of being pitied by everyone. I knew I should have stayed home to fight my demons, It was better than the endless stream of condolences. I isolated myself on a chair at a secluded part of the school and sat down alone. I wanted to avoid snapping at anyone, it would be unfair. They all had a lot of empathy for me, it was appreciated but not needed. What I needed was to be treated like everybody else, certainly not like someone about to break anytime. It would keep me reminded of what I was so desperate to forget and get over. I was lost in my thoughts. I heard the sound of footsteps and a twig break behind me. I snapped back to see who it was. I was livid, can't I have a moment to myself Priscilla: I froze. I didn't mean to startle him. I look totally like a creep, didn't I. The expression on his face scared me even more, he looked so cold and yet so handsome. My heart skipped a beat. I've had a huge crush on him since I resume school as a freshman. He was my senior by 2 years. I was tired of how everyone was treating him like he would break. His best friend included, I tought he should know him better.I knew that feeling of frustration of being pitied by everyone. I also lost my Dad in an auto accident at a young age. The feeling was overwhelming, he was my world. I cried so hard till I felt I had no liquid in me again. Everyone trying to protect me made me want to cry more. I wanted to get away from everyone, be alone. I wanted to stare at the sun as it sets beyond the horizon alone, but deep down I just needed someone to talk to, not someone who pitied, someone who understood how I felt,no one did. I thought I could help him out. I had seen him walking earlier, to a secluded part of the school. It was one of the calmest part of the school with a chair under a big tree shielding directs rays of sunlight , exuding a cool and soothing atmosphere. I had seen him walking alone, nobody was around, it was my chance to try and talk to him. I waited for a few moments before following him, for it not to look like I was stalking him. I saw him head bowed from a distance, he seemed lost in toughts. I walked toward him hoping he would notice my presence and raise his head. He didn't till I was so close to him. I didn't know what do, calling his name would really startle him and would be an akward way to start a conversation. I stepped on a twing accidentally, it made such a loud noise he snapped his head up. His expression sent a chill down my spine. He looked very angry. Perhaps coming here was a bad idea, I tought. I should have listened to Janet, my best friend. She warned me against trying to talk to him. I've never tried to start a conversation with him on a regular day because I was shy and a bit scared of him. Doing so when he's sad and probably angry was a bad idea, she had said. I insisted I wasn't trying to talk to him because I liked him, I was trying to help him as someone who has been in that moment of pain and sadness trying to help another in his time of need. I had convince myself to believe that till I did. "Hi peter" I said meekly "Hi, what do you want" he asked very coldly I was taken aback by how cold he was. "errrm....I wanted to tell you sorry about your mom's death" I blurted out "Thank you, is that what you wanted. I've said it, can I have a time alone now." I felt so small in front of him, I regretted coming to to meet him. I wished I could sink myself into the ground. He tought I was another one of those girls who had a crush on him trying to get close to him in his most vulnerable state. I couldn't have him thinking that. I tried again "I just wanted to tell you, if you needed someone to talk to, someone who understood you, I am right here for you" I stammered "I'm tired of having to listen to same nonsense from you all. I don't know you, why would I try to talk you. You claimed to understand me. who told you, you do" he asked angrily This is going wrong, totally wrong . it wasn't as I planned it in my head. I anticipated him rejecting my gesture not just this. He is being really mean right now . "I'm really sorry" I replied him "Yeah, right" he said mockingly I turned my back and walked, I could feel him staring a hole in back. I felt really embarrassed. I should have listened to Jane and resisted the urge to talk to him. I tried to make excuses for his reaction in my head. I really liked him and couldn't hate him because he snapped at me. Perhaps he did because he has been been pushed to his limits and I just coincidentally ended up at the bad side of his mood . I felt sad, it was unfair, I didn't deserve to be at the receiving end of his transfer of agression. It all toiled in mind. I was angry and pitied him at the same time. I was having a mixed reaction. I saw Jane and she waved at me from a distance she was sitting at. I walked to her, there was a book on her laps, she was studying for the physics test we had this morning. "So, how did it go" she asked with piqued interest "He snapped at me" "Snapped at you? Why? What did you do?" She asked I could see the change In her expression. she can be really protective of me "Apparently I said the same thing everyone has been saying to him since morning and he flared up a bit" i replied "Who the hell does he thinks. He can't snap at you for showing him empathy " she replied angrily "It seemed he had received enough sympathy for a day, don't you think. It could be really frustrating you know. It is totally my fault for being shortsighted" I replied I was trying to play down her anger. I didn't want her to be angry at him "How is it your fault? he should have stayed at home, if he didn't want people to sympathize with him. It's a normal human response to show sympathy to someone suffering or distressed. He can not tell people how to show theirs. Most of the people who showed empathy did so out of genuine concern. So what's his problem " she asked "Come on Jane, let's forget about it. It was my fault, I should have totally listened to you and not try to talk to him " "Yeah, you should have" she said rolling her eyes at me "But you couldn't resist talking to your crush" "Oh shut up Jane" "Let's forget about that, We have other things to focus on. The next class is starting soon "Isaid "Where's Phil" I asked "I haven't seen him" "I hope you remember we have a physics test and it's 30 percentage of the total grade" "Offcourse I do" "You've studied for it? I've barely seen you sit down to read today, all you did was talk about Peter" "I woke in the middle of the night and did my reading " "And you finished the whole topics" she asked She always does this before a test or an exam. She knew I was always one or two topics behind. She was as hardworking and brilliant academically as they come and quite the opposite was I. She always tried her best to make sure I was keeping up in class or completed the topics before a test and proceeded to asking random questions. We sometimes read together a night before a test or an exam, but I asked to be excused yesterday. I had a terrible headache that needs sleeping off . "Offcourse I did, what did you take me for " I replied joking. I lied. I still had two more topics to read through, I didn't want her to know that. I wasn't in the mood to recieve a scolding session. I knew she wasn't buying my lie with the stern look she gave me. I hoped she doesn't start a Q&A. I was saved from her scrutinizing look by the bell ringing. She stood up from where she was sitting as we walked towards the class