Lycan Princess

Longing

~Lilly~

"I shouldn't be in here," I whispered softly as my body burrowed in tighter to Evan's chest.

"It doesn't seem like you are racing to leave," Evan chuckled as his arms held me tight against him.

"And you are not pushing me away," I pointed out with a soft smile.

"I am not the one telling you that you need to leave." Evan whispered against my hair. I could feel his breath on me and the feeling of it made me feel safe and whole.

"You aren't forcing me to stay either," I pointed out, turning my head to look into his eyes. "Do you not care?"

Evan frowned softly as he reached up his hand to cup my cheek, "Would it change anything if I cared? Would you go out there, claim me as your mate and not pick one of the suitors your dad picked for you? Would you choose me?"

I wanted to scream yes. Tell him that all I wanted to do was pack my bags and run away with him. Tell him that I was glad that the moon goddess picked someone who didn't want to force me to do anything. Tell him that I thought he was handsome and kiss him. I could feel Zion begging me to claim our mate and I wanted to give into that call. However, then I saw my father's face as he left me in the elevator. I could feel his disappointment like a knife to my chest and I knew that it didn't matter what I wanted and what Zion craved. All that mattered was the crown. "I can't," I whispered, forcing myself to sit up.

"Can't or won't?" Evan sighed softly, leaning against the wall. Wimpering, I looked at him. He was leaning away from me, but I still sat in his lap and gravity was allowing me to see the outline of his abs through his shirt.

"Does it matter?" Biting my lip I stood up and moved a little way away from him. "If you aren't trying to make me stay, why does it matter why I'm not?"

"I am not going to force you to do anything. Besides, what happened to the woman who was terrified of me when we first met last night? Why would I want to drive you even further away?"

"I don't know!" I all but shouted with a growl in my voice. "I don't know what I want you to do or not do."

"What do you want to do?" Evan asked softly as he stood before me and took my hands in his. "What do you want to do with this mate bond? Now that I know you are not mated to the moonlight packs Alpha I can state that I want you. I didn't want to break up your family when I thought you were his. However, at this moment you are single. I can ask you to think of me and claim me as your mate. So Lilly... do you want me?"

Tears fell from my eyes as I listened to his words. They were everything I had ever hoped my mate would say, but what I wanted wasn't important. I was the next leader and my choices affected the entire kingdom. Whimpering, I stood on my tippy toes and claimed his lips with my own.

Evan groaned as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close so he could deepen the kiss. Instinctivly, I wrapped my arms around his neck and whimpered as I felt his body harden against me. "Lilly," Evan groaned as he gripped my hair with his hands.

"Evan," I whispered sadly, biting his lip.

"Owe," Evan winced, pulling his lips away from mine, but not letting me go. "Sorry, was the hair too much?" He chuckled happily until he saw the sad look on my face. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

"I have to go pick one of my suitors." I said sadly. I could see the pain fill his eyes, but I couldn't change what my status was.

"Even with me here?"

"I have to," I whimpered sadly as I pulled out of his embrace and headed towards the door. I could see everyone having a fun time and I knew that when I went out there I would have to plaster a smile on my face and be one of those happy idiots. Taking a deep breath, I turned around to look at Evan. "It's can't, by the way."

"What?" He growled, clearly trying to calm down his wolf.

"It is that I cannot be with you. Not that I won't." With that, I left the kitchen and left him standing there.

~Evan~

Can't... she can't be with me? 'Make her your's' Raven growled as he paced in our mindspace.

'She doesn't want me to claim her.'

'She didn't say that!' Raven hissed as he tried to take over. I growled, pushing him back into our mindspace so he didn't do anything rash.

'Raven... I think it is time I left the castle.'

'Yes! Grab her in the middle of the night and make a run for it!' Raven howled excitedly.

'No.' I said firmly. 'I've told you how I wanted to move out of the castle eventually and I think the time is now. She is going to marry someone else. I don't know why, but I know she is. I cannot stand here and watch her being with someone else. I cannot watch someone else make her a mother... I cannot watch her play with children that are not mine. I always said I would walk away... but I never thought they would live in the castle.'

'So you are just going to abandon her?' Raven growled in rage.

'I am allowing her to do what she wants to do. I am not going to force or guilt her into choosing me and I cannot stand here and watch her care for another. I was planning on leaving anyway so this is a good time.'

'You are a coward!'

'I don't disagree with that.' Laughing softly I finished plating the last set of dinners and headed out to the ball room. I wouldn't stand in her way, but I had a desire to show her that I supported the tough choice she was making. I would stand in that room and watch my mate choose her husband.