The Book

[ J ] "Just because she dumped you that doesn't mean you have to crunch in your shell.. relax man she's just a girl like any girl... and believe me.. I knew that this was going to happen when i saw her for the fist ti-"  "Shut the f**k up Dylan!"  I drank my whisky wanting anything but being sober, but thanks to my f*****g friend over here, he's just replaying the same freaking subject again and again, and again.  "Oh com on Jo!.. you know i was just tryin' to cheer you up buddy" "Yeah... as if it would change anything" And with me saying my regular words he turned off suddenly, will.. that's how's jack live, he flies to the sky to be hit by the hard earth, sorry, I meant hell, this can't be earth, it must be hill and god is cheating in this f*****g game, whatever, I don't believe in the existence of him anyway, since my mother gone, every little freaking bit of my world shattered down, like it was waiting for the great breakdown i had 4 years ago, what happened has been, wither I wanted to or not, see, that's the thing i hate about life, it doesn't go like we always want it to. i looked at Dylan besid me thought that he was sitting on the long chairs with the bar but I guess i was wrong, because i can hear his voice hunting some b***h here or there, he's so rude!, not that i'm having a breakup, but he didn't even envite me for hunting with him, and this is a betrayal I'm going to punish him for it.. when i get sober. Who am i? I'm Jovan Hanks, a f****d up boy with a ruined life, i lost my mother in high school, my father ran away, the place i was having in that school got robbed by that kis, what was his name again?, yeah I don't give a s**t about anything now, whatever, i got broke, i sell the house, buying with the money i got a small shitty apartment I'm living in till now,  I didn't have job, I don't have brothers, i was alone, STILL alone, i took the devil's road, i knew some amigos, i had a deal with them and it was something like (i sell drugs, i ger rewarded) and i have to admit that i like the rewards they were giving me, but it wasn't enough, so i went to the illegal boxing, they ar just saying this but everyone is acting as if it's legal, In my last year, i got in a big asshole kind of a problem, s**t, thinking about it again, it was a disaster, and I finally got kicked out when the elders saw things getting out of control, and when i say that, i mean (when things get to needing police in it) AS i said, IT was a disaster. I breathed heavily for the thousand time, and with feeling the air getting heavier I decided to get out of this place, it's not a good bar but it's the nearest one, everything good is far, always.  Anyway, Back then, my world literally shattered down, i can't forget how i felt that day i was walking away from school, the sun shined shamelessly, the clouds was nowhere to be seen, i was tired, i was in pain, because it was just that time that i came to conclusion that mom isn't coming back, and i exploded like a f*****g volcano didn't inch in ages, it was the first time i cried that much in my hole life, ahh just bringing the memory back make me want to puke. What happened to me after getting expelled?, well.. of course, i tried to get in many high schools but none of them accepted me, my file had nothing but s**t, and i didn't fight for it, in fact i was feeling comfortable, and I learned that schools aren't a places to be teached, it's a place to be grilled like a chicken, i'm hungry, I looked around the area, there's no diners in here, man i really need a slice of pizza, and with the hot cheese melting in my mouth, i'd kill for it rn! Heading straight to my place, remembering that i have a slice of pizza in the fridge, I walked with my hands in my bocket, and when i got past a dark alley i heard growns and moanings, no.. this thing isn't having s*x, it's suffering from a pain maybe. Heading straight to my place, remembering that i have a slice of pizza in the fridge, I walked with my hands in my bocket, and when i got past a dark alley i heard growns and moanings, no.. this thing isn't having s*x, it's suffering from a pain maybe. "Excuse me?.. do you need help?" And suddenly, out of nowhere, i felt a warm liquid wetting my shoes, so I opened my phone and turned on the white flash to see what's this,  i couldn't believe that this liquid was blood, and it's coming right from this shadow, who was a fourty years old poor man, and with my panicked brain that didn't know what to do, i heard his voice hardly pronouncing: "It's th- b- book!" -