The Heart Wants What It Wants

Myla's p.o.v "Myla Let's go out to eat." Jenny said as she sat down beside me. "Later Jenny. I need to finish this." I responded while typing data into the computer. "You can complete it later. I'd like to eat with you." With a pouty expression, she said. Looking at her causes me to stop what I'm doing. She's adorable. Is this what it means to be a lesbian? I just laugh silently in my head. "All right, let's go." As a result, I got up and saved the files. She smiled and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. She's always been this way. Jenny is her name. She is my best friend. Her hair is long and grayish, and her skin is white and silky. She's very lovely and charming, and one of her best qualities that I admire is her smile. She always has a lovely smile on her face. Anyone would be attracted to her. She's not only charming, but she's also kind and very sweet. Jenny and I met on my first day of work, and I knew she would become my best friend here at the office.  She is loud and friendly, just like me. She approached me politely, and she was my trainer at that time. After a few months, I was transferred by her department, where Jenny and I both work as supervisors for the Mobile-E company. I insisted on purchasing our meals at the cafeteria, so I let Jenny take the first available seat. I glanced over at Jenny as I was selecting food. She is looking at her phone with a smile on her face. That grin is priceless. I assumed it was her boyfriend she was texting. Jenny once mentioned her boyfriend to me. They've been together for 5 years. She was on vacation in Canada when she met him. They've been in a long-distance relationship for two years because his boyfriend has to be there and Jenny has to stay here because of her job. Jenny is head over heels in love with his boyfriend, and I can see it in her eyes. I can tell she's happy by the way she smiles while looking at her phone or talking on the phone with him. I can tell she's madly in love with her boyfriend. Of course, I am delighted for her. Flashback A bunch of buzzed on my phone make me wake up from sleeping. It’s been a while since I’m living alone and enduring pain, tears was my morning greetings to myself. "Mami? How is your day going? I'm sure it's difficult for you because I'm not with you." "Mi, could you please send me your hugs and kisses? I'm pining for you." "I miss you so much, Mi!" "Mi, just keep your cool, okay? I'll be in your arms again soon. Please wait, okay?" "I love you from Canada to the Philippines.” Full of heart emoticons, his message was like my daily routine to read it. This was my energy from my everyday activities at work. End of flashback. "Here's your order ma'am." I was back in my trance when a crew handed me my order. "Thank you!" I said as I walked over to Jenny's corner. I set the food on the table and take a seat in front of Jenny. "I'm guessing it's your boyfriend," I said when I was able to sit "Huh?" She asked, her face puzzled. "I noticed you're smiling while looking at your phone," I said, rolling my eyes with a bitter smile. She laughs at my outburst. "Yeah, It's him. He said he's going home soon. Perhaps on my birthday." She cracked a grin. "Really?! So that's good news, isn't it?! He will undoubtedly make your birthday complete," I responded, the line curving her lips made me blushed. I wish all the best for her and I can't stop thinking about what was on her mind. Christ and I used to be like this, but that was a long time ago. We communicated via phone calls, texts, Viber, and Messenger. I already miss him. I'm missing my ex-boyfriend. We haven't seen each other in 6 years. We were also in long distance relationship before, but it didn't work out. Flashback  "My God, Myla! I can't believe you think of me that way! Do you think I'll be able to do that?!" He yelled on the other line "So, Christ… What do you expect?! Someone told me you and that slut were dating! And guess what else?! You inadvertently answered my call, and I overheard her voice on your line. I'm guessing you're having a good time at the party with her. So, what comes next?! Tell me now! Did you f**k her up?! Did you crave for more?! Moaning other names while you have me!" My voice began to brittle. "Myla No! That's something I couldn't do and would never do. Don’t put all the Blame on me!” My vision becomes blurry and tears rolling down my cheeks made me realise I was crying silently.  "Am I not enough? Or is it due to the distance?” He remained muted. "I stayed for how many years, Christ? We started arguing all the time and try to calm down the tense between us because I love you… But I'm not sure if can stay with you anymore. You haven't answer my calls in the last few weeks, and you've always had your reasons behind it. I'm concerned about you. I texted you and got no respond, then one day I get a text that you're partying with that girl. What do you expect from me?! I'm already exhausted.” I sighed and continue, “I guess it's time for me to let you go. Let's call it a day." I hang up the phone. I waited for him to call back, but he never did. I try to sync in things that we’re over.  End of Flashback Until now, I’m still hoping for him to reach me out. I've had no update about him since then. I've already changed my phone number and deactivated my f*******: account for the peace of my heart.  There have been many nights I've cried myself to sleep, longing for him to come back. But, day by day, I came to terms with the fact that he was no longer with me. He was the man I dreamed of but ended up wrecked the half of me. I finished college and began looking for work and I met Jenny. She help me to forget and put my heart at peace. We travelled and had an adventures activities. I did all the activities in my bucket list with her. I'm lucky that I met her. "Are you all right?" Jenny expressed her concern with a worried expression. I woke up in trance when tears are dripping down my cheeks. I simply wiped it away and smile at her. "My eyes are throbbing. Let's get started." I am adamant. Jenny followed me as I stood up.