Chapter 3 - Retrograde amnesia
2281 Words
JACK
“Jack, as much as we are happy that Idris is awake I’m afraid that she is not gonna retrieve her memories back, '' Matt says.
“What do you mean by that?” I ask because I don’t want to hear it but I can’t omit it either.
He sat on the chair, “She has Retrograde amnesia. Her brain region was damaged which is associated with episodic and declarative memory, including autobiographical information. In extreme cases, individuals may completely forget who they are. Which is Idris' case, It is more likely to lose memories closer to the traumatic incident than more memories that happened further from the incident. The accident made her forget everything, about who she is, who we are, everything. She forgets her entire past and she can’t retrieve any of her memories back but she can form new memories....” He continues to talk.
Idris forgot everything, that is the only thing that I heard, What I can do with the rest of my life with the person who I loved so deeply and she doesn’t remember me, she will never gonna remember me again, “Jack, Jack!” Matt shakes me.
“She is not gonna remember me, ever,” I say.
Matt looks at me apologetically, I should have saved Idris before she got into Graham’s hand. I couldn’t save her then and I couldn’t save her now. I never have saved her and what did it cost? My love. My Idris.
“Jack, She is Idris, she might forget everything, but you know her, she is still our Idris, her determination and courage never fade, You know how she handled when she knew she lost all her memory. I have never seen anyone act calm like her, it’s either she accepted it or hoping she will get her memory back. Patients would be screaming and telling us to kill them or they act wild. But…”
“She didn’t act wild even when she woke up from her long sleep, She was curious about everything and confused,” I say as I remember her expressions in the morning.
Matt nods, “Yes, Idris will be back soon,” He says.
There was a small part that was hoping Idris was pulling an act just to know how much I love her, I know she likes to test me, but it wasn’t that. I would have been happier if everything was an act.
“Jack, She needs you,” Matt says.
I nod, I don't know what to say to her, Should I tell the truth? What she is gonna do when she knows I’m her lover, who is also her twin brother, who loved her so deeply, who was waiting for her to wake up for seven years. “I will go find her before Jordan spills anything,” I say
He stopped me, “What do you mean?” He asks.
I shook my head, “it’s not a good time to tell her everything,” I say. I would never force her to anything, I want to talk to her, I want to do what she wants to do, I’m not telling her the past which has the most hate and unbearable pain.
“It’s better..” I cut him off.
“Thanks, Matt. I will go find her,” I say walking out of his office.
I walked to the canteen, I found her with Jordan sitting on the last bench eating the sandwich, I silently prayed that Jordan didn’t say anything about me or her past, I know she wouldn’t because she is a psychologist but she is excited and happy to see Idris, “Hi,” Jordan says
I nod and smile politely as I sit next to her, “Did I interrupt something?” I want to know what they were talking about but I don’t want Idris to know I’m being nosy.
Jordan laughs, “Just about sandwiches and the city climate,” I noticed Idris’s sandwich untouched, not untouched, she just took a bite and left it untouched.
I try to make a casual conversation, “It’s just an autumn here, not even winter,” I say
Idris looks bored, “Do you want anything else?” I ask her.
She doesn’t look at me, “No, Thanks.” She says hiding her expression from me.
“We should go,” I say to Idris after two minutes of awkward silence. She nods and waved her hands to Jordan but not a word to her.
When we are back in our car, Idris doesn’t even bother to talk or ask any questions like she was before. I cleared my throat to get her attention but she didn’t respond to that, “You can ask anything If you want to.” I say. Most of the questions she is gonna ask, I either don’t have an answer for it or it’s better she doesn’t know it.
She looks at the dashboard and thinks, probably thinking what she should ask me first, “What’s your name?” She asks after a minute. I was so shocked by that question, then I remember I never told her my name. Matt and Jordan didn’t mention it when she was with me either, there was no way she would have known it.
“Jack,” I say.
She repeats, “Jack,”
I nod, I hide the little happiness when my name left her lips, “Jack,” She repeats.
“Yup,” I say. Making myself ready for the next questions she is gonna fire. But she stayed silent, not for a minute or two but the whole drive.
She takes everything in, who works in the lobby, the security guy, the elevator, like she wants to remember every detail, when I pressed the elevator button, her eyes didn’t leave it until the door opened on our floor. “It’s ours,” I say
She nodded, and followed me, “I’m hungry,” She mumbled behind me.
“Wanna eat pasta?” I ask happily,
She looks at my over-excitement, I rearranged my face, “Just wait for twenty minutes, I will make it,” I say
She nods and looks at the apartment uncomfortably, “It’s your home too. Don’t hesitate,” I say in a low voice.
“I’m feeling weak,” She says, she never ate any food in the past seven years, “Drink this,” I gave her the grape juice.
She took it gratefully and drank it,, I made another while I was making the chicken pasta, “Thank you,” She says before she drank it.
Once I made the chicken soup and chicken pasta, I served on a plate and called, “Idris, Lunch is ready,”
I heard her footsteps approaching me, “Sorry it took more than twenty minutes,” I say
“It smells so good, I love it,” She says.
She needs to eat healthy to gain her weight and stamina level, “Chicken pasta, and chicken soup, I bet it will taste better than its aroma,” I say. I’m so confident about my cooking skill, and I cooked for the love of my life.
She stopped and looked at me, “What? You made chicken?” She asks.
Wasn’t it, her favorite? I know she forgets everything but she said she loved it,”Um… It tastes really good, just taste it, if you don’t like it, I won’t compel you,” I say politely.
She shakes her head, “No, I’m a vegan,” She says offensively.
What does she mean she is vegan? She doesn’t remember anything, And Idris is not definitely, vegan, “Umm… You.. were not,” I try.
“Jack, I don’t remember anything, But I’m definitely not a nonvegetarian, I don’t think I was. I know I’m a vegan,” She says she knew it very well.
“Umm... I’m sorry. I will make something else,” I say taking the plates out of the table,
“I’m sorry, I’m just…” I cut her off.
“It’s fine, I will make something else,” I say
She looks at me apologetically, “I can help,” She says.
“Take rest Ba... Idris. I will finish it soon,” I say. It’s hard to say her name after I was calling her a nickname for almost a decade.
She nods, “Thanks,” She sat back on the couch, staring at the ceiling, I made veg salad and pasta, When I was back with it, Idris was asleep on the couch, she still looks so cute, I can just stand there and look at her all day, but I remember she was hungry and she would be starving now, “Idris, wake up,” I shake her.
She opens her eyes and looks at me, “I made a veg salad and veg pasta,” I say
She looks at the plates on the table, “Hmm,” She yawns lazily. She eats her food in silence, I watch her eating her food, “Hey slow down. You may choke,” I say giving her a glass of water when she is eating incredibly fast.
She doesn’t bother to reply, “Can I get some more please?” She asks.
I nod, Once she ate her stomach full, “You cook really good, You are a chef?” She asks. Does she just flirt with me? I mentally struck the words in my head, She doesn’t even know me to flirt with me.
When I was mentally thinking about all these, Idris was waiting on me for an answer, “Umm… No, I’m not a chef,” I say. “I..” She didn’t wait.
“Thanks for your food, I think I’m gonna sleep,” She says going back to the couch.
I stopped her, “sleep on the bed,” I say
She looks at the room hesitatingly, “You can sleep on the bed,” I say. I understand her hesitancy, “There, is…”
“Okay, Thanks,” She says walked into the room. I should call the service to clean the room and remove all the medical supplies.
I watched her fall on the bed and hide her face on the pillow. She would be tired thinking of her past and frustrated that she couldn’t remember anything, I sat on the couch watching her sleep. This is the first time I’m happy and I know she will wake up soon. “I love you so much, Idris,” I say when I know she can’t hear me.
After an hour, I hear the little footsteps running from the door, before he go and wake Idris, i stopped him, “No,” I say
He looks at me, and gives his puppy face, “I want to say Hi to Idris,” He says. He likes to talk to her, because she is the only one who doesn't bother about him blabbering.
“Not, right now. Idris is sleeping, you can talk to her when she wakes up, you can talk to her.” I say in a polite voice.
He looks down, “She is in a coma, it will take her time to wake up,” He says.
I nod, “Yeah, go play in your room,” I say, patting oh his back.
“Okay, Dad,” He says, giving me a bear hug and a kiss on my cheek. He became one of my happiness, one of ours. The little boy is mischief and talkative who brings happiness and a smile to us.
“How have you been?”
“Your mom didn’t say anything?” I ask, I can’t believe Jordan or Matt didn’t say anything to him.
He shakes his head, “No, What is it? What had happened? “ He asks. “Is Idris okay?” His posture changed.
I nod, “She is doing better actually,” I say
He looks as happy as me, “That’s good to hear, I’m not hearing the nurse. You again told them you take care of her on your own,” He says shaking his head in disagreement.
“No, I actually fired them this morning,” I say watering the plants
He stopped me, “Are you insane?... You can’t take care of her all by yourself. You almost spend most of your day and nights with her, but..”
“Enough!” I snapped at him, made him flinch.
He looked upset and mad at the same time, Before I said anything, Sam ran into us, “ Daddy! Idris, She is awake!.” He screamed in his little voice
Alex was surprised to hear it and he ran to my room.
- Writer
