Her Dilemma, Her Choice

45 Years Ago Beth I took a nervous breath and let it out as I waited with my father to see the king, who would decide my fate. My knuckles were white and I twisted my fingers together. “Beth, calm down. You’ve spent your life in this palace and seen the king on many occasions,” My father said. It was true. I was the youngest daughter of the Gamma to the Lycan king. I grew up in this palace. Attending the parties, and traveling with the royal entourage, I had known King Maxwell my whole life. He was nearly family to me. Today was different though. Today I was asking to leave. The palace. The pack. His territory. I was a favorite among the people, it wouldn’t go over well. Life is different for werewolves and Lycan. We live, breed and die in packs. Where there is a heirarchy, and patriarchy. Lycan are the stronger of the 2 species. Werewolves actually descending from us. Lycan only come with a wolf animal, whereas weres can actually be any animal. There are werewolves, were-cats, were-bears, etc. Lycan are just wolves. Big, giant wolves and most of us have extra abilities that the weres don’t. Another difference is that weres and Lycan mate for life when they find that mate. The mating bond is supposedly the strongest pull imaginable. It’s a draw for that person to be whatever the other needs, whenever they need it. Some werewolves have started calling it imprinting. But it’s not really. Imprinting would happen at birth, so if a mate was present at the birth of his or her other half, then it would be called that. While a bond may be felt between Lycan mates, the full-fledged mating bond isn’t fully in place until you shift for the first time when you turn 18. This used to be very common with Lycan, feeling the bond, having a bonded mate. Starting about 1000 years ago, the Lycan fertility diminished and finding your mate became much more difficult. Some Lycan don’t ever find their mates these days. My father was a lucky one. Not only did he find his mate at the young age of 25, he was also blessed with 5 children. I was the last one, and now he is 200 years old. Did I mention Lycan live longer? Werewolves have a slightly longer lifespan than humans, but Lycan often live to be 300 – 500 years old. The older the bloodline, the longer the Lycan is likely to live. My bloodline is one of the oldest in the territory, second only to the king’s bloodline. Nobody knows why the Lycan stopped finding mates. I think we’re no longer given them by the Moon Goddess. I am certain some Lycan ancestor pissed her off and she cursed us, but that’s me. I was beaten as a child for that viewpoint and told not to disrespect the Goddess like that. Now I’m 25 years old. I don’t feel any glimmer of hope that my mate is “out there.” In spite having toured multiple territories with King Maxwell as part of the royal entourage, attending parties, meetings and summits, I haven’t felt even a spark of a mating bond. That is why I am here, waiting for an audience with the king. I take another deep breath and relax my fingers. King Maxwell and his wolf are kind and understanding. My wolf, Kira, says in my head. When one has an animal, like the Lycan and weres, you have each other. It’s its own type of bond. You are the animal and the animal is you. You share each other’s emotions and you can communicate through thought, which is slightly different from telepathy, though we can do that too. Kira pipes up again, He’ll hear you out. “The king will see you now,” Beta James says in his deep baritone. He smiles as he offers me his hand up and looks at my father. “Dylan, he’s requested your presence as well.” My father smiles at him, “Thank you James.” As the Gamma to the King, my father is 3rd in command and is in charge of the king’s warriors and guards. He used to guard the king personally, but after my mother, a warrior of her own, died in a Rogue attack while we were travelling between territories when I was only 10, the king requested my father become his Chief War Advisor, advising, training his troops and allowing him to focus more on raising the 2 children still in the home. He’s been in charge of training the king’s warriors and guards ever since. King Maxwell smiles at me and indicates us to sit in the chairs in front of his desk. “Gamma Dylan tells me you want to leave, Beth.” His voice is commanding, but gentle and sadness touches his eyes as he says it. The last time I was in his office I had asked to leave as well, but that time was to attend a university for education. This time, it’s a permanent request. “Your father has told me he approved your request and it’s just up to me. Last time we met, you asked to go to Cambridge and, as I recall, did very well in your studies and made friends and allies for us. It does seem, though, every time you seek my presence you’re asking to leave. Why is that sweet Beth?” He's been calling me “sweet Beth” since my sweet 16 party. I asked him once why, and he gave some bs answer about me smelling of lilacs and honey. Since at the time, I had just finished training with one of my brothers and I knew I smelled like sweat, I didn’t believe him. King Maxwell is young for a king and, like most shifters, incredibly good looking, with his 6’7” warrior’s body, jet black, wavy hair and his Caribbean blue eyes, he stands out in a crowd. His father passed him the crown only 20 years ago when Maxwell was only 50 years old. A few years later, the former king died in the same raid that killed my mother. My sister, who survived that attack, said he died fighting alongside our mother to protect her and the other children who hadn’t had their first shift yet. The king was still looking at me expectantly. “Well, as you’ll recall, Your Majesty, I wanted to go to school last time. This time I’m asking you to let me go to the human territory and pursue a career.” “A career?” He asked. “You know we could employ you here in the territory. You don’t have to leave.” “I’m aware, Your majesty. However,” I took a breath, looked at my father, who nodded and continued. “I want to carve my own way. Not be given a job and respect, because I’m of distant royal blood. And not because my father is the Gamma or because I know the king.” “Knowing me is a problem?” He cut me off. “No. Not at all, but people treat me differently when they find out I know you and have spent time with you. I want to go somewhere where I can earn my raises, promotions and make my own way. I haven’t found my mate. I’m certain I don’t have one.” “Why’s that?” He inquired. “Because, I have no twinges of connection. I feel only myself in my soul.” Hey what about me? Kira interjected. “Well my wolf and I.” I corrected for her. King Maxwell nodded and looked at my father, who looked sad, but determined. “And you’ve given her your blessing to go and pursue this career?” My father nodded. Turning back to me, the King said, “You realize that you won’t be able to hold a career for long as humans will notice you don’t age as quickly?” I nodded. “What is your plan then?”