The Forgotten Princess

Every other night it’s the same dream. Darkness consumes me, and while It feels all too familiar, I cannot place it awake. All I know is that in this dream, I am small. I cannot possibly be much older than 5 or 6. My feet move swiftly, chasing the small ray of light in the never-ending darkness. I run for only a few moments before my feet instinctively come to a halt at the sound of crying.   It’s a baby. Something small but mighty is pleading out for help. I reach out but am met suddenly by a door and more noise coming from the other side. Shushing. “Shh sweet child.” “Just give that d**n thing the bottle already!” “They will just spit it out if they are screaming! This needs to work, or this whole plan will collapse! I am not willing to lose everything over one child!” “Well, we need to be quick, or someone is bound to hear us.” My hand placed firmly on the handle. “Wait. I sense something..” Pulled forward... I am engulfed in darkness. There is nothing else. Just silence and fear. - - - - - - - Letter 1 My Dearest Em, Oh, how i have missed your letters. They come far too few and far between for my liking. They have the sweetest lavender scent on them that reminds me of summers at grandmama’s cottage. How I miss you both! I wish to hold onto this and smell it whenever I am lonely in this palace by myself. I’m envious that you two are together, reunited, without me. I was just thinking of you this morning, so what incredible timing this is. Has it only been six months since your departure? It seems as though years have passed since I have seen your familiar face. I hesitate to admit I even miss the sideways glances you give when I am in my boisterous ways. You always keep me in line em, even when I don’t want to be. I long for our evening chats in the garden under the moon. The only time we could sneak out and be alone in our thoughts; picking strawberries and humming and hawing about the nature of our life. Our duty. My walks alone just aren't the same, especially when I have to watch for the guard at all times. It is just as distracting as you’d assume. You would be happy to know the strawberries and raspberries are coming in well this year. They are much better than last year when it rained too much, and worms kept crawling into them. I was just telling Darius how we need to save some and freeze them for your return. I’ll have to ask Marium if she is able to can us some jams and jellies for french toast and strudel. Any requests? Guess who is sitting in your chair again at this exact moment? I know it was the one thing you received from grandmama before she left, but it feels as though it is a great disservice for it to be abandoned while you are away. Such a nice chair to be alone and forgotten! Especially in that cold, dusty room of yours. So, the only evident option is to have it moved into my room for the time being. You know, for safekeeping and such! Please forgive me. I will personally see for it to be returned to your room upon your immediate arrival. Sitting in it reminds me of our childhood. You and I together. When things were easy, and we had no idea of the pressures of our titles. Remember when we were children, after our bath, we used to be able to both squish into it side by side like a can of sardines. Oh! I giggle at the thought. Comfortable sardines, though, you and i. Grand-mama would sit across from us on her visits, and wiggle our toes in preparation for the grand story she was about to tell us. Stories about Princesses and Princes, Dukes and Dutchesses; about love and adventure, riches and gold. It would have been nice if she had prepared us for other things about our duties as Highnesses. How was I supposed to know about marriage arrangements, heirs, taxes, and boring sit-downs with the nobles from her stories? But like you always say, dreams play out in our minds, and reality plays out in our eyes. Don’t tell her that, though. Hopeless romantic she is. Do you recall how when papa was away on trips, she would tell us the BEST stories of all! It was as though she was saving them just for those moments, even using a quiet, hushed voice in narration. It was like our own little secret. My favourite stories she told were always the ones with mystical creatures! Always werewolves, witches, and vampires, sometimes with a battle between all three at the end. Oh, and the goddesses. I loved the goddesses! When you have a moment alone with Grandmama, can you ask her about the goddess who was the protector of the moon or something like that? What was her name again? Only if you are alone with her, though, Although you already know that. The goddess gave each creature a soulmate, to love and cherish for all of eternity. They were misunderstood gentle creatures who would find their soulmates by a particular scent, do i have that right? I do hope i am recalling it all correctly, i am sure i look like such a ditz if not.  Can you imagine? Finding your one true love? The other half of your soul? And for eternity too? What if this goddess made a mistake? What if you pissed her off? I am so glad we are humans Em. I do sometimes wonder what that would feel like though, just knowing immediately that they were your soulmate. Not having to wonder day in and day out, in a your patner is the right one. I wish we were given such freedoms. I wonder if Grand Mama told the same stories to mother when she was young. No one tells a story like her! She can just open her mouth, and the words would flow as though coming from her heart; as if she was speaking her own story. without a falter every time. Which reminds me, I am scribbling this in response quick. Marium will be here soon to pick up the letter and send it to you as discreetly as she can. She sends her courtesies as well to you both. Please sit down before proceeding in reading my dear em, to limit the agony of my words. I apologize deeply for the heaviness of the topic, but you are my sister and confidant. I lost another one Em. This time is it so early i barely knew. I don’t think i would of had any idea if it weren’t for that sixth sense I have. It would be almost better if I didn’t know, If i could just tell myself, i was late this month like every other woman. I didn’t tell bother to tell Stefan this time either. I cannot see the hope dwindle in his eyes further. I am supposed to provide an heir to this title; that is my duty as his wife. We have been married for over two years and while we watch other’s experience their second or third pregnancy, i just can’t seem to give him one. Papa was originally adamant it must be an issue with my husband. We have solid and powerful genes, he says. He and mother produced two healthy children, and if it weren’t for her sudden sickness, they would have produced many more! Probably a Duke to carry on our title. How my life would have been so much easier if that were so. Between you and I, Stephan and i snuck to a doctor across town to get a second opinion other than papa’s physician. Oh em, it felt like they were in there for hours! And in the end, he did not find anything wrong with Stefan. Since that day, he rarely attends out chambers at night, and when he does it is purely for appearances due to prying guests and their questions. I didn’t think our chambers could get any colder, but those nights with him it does. I don’t blame him for not wanting to be near me. I have disappointed him and papa greatly. I shudder at the thought that if our dear mother woke up, I would be disappointing her too. Please send my love to grandmama, but do not tell her what I have written. It would break her poor heart, and I would be forever guilty for doing that to her. Just relay that I hope she gets stronger soon so she can join us once again in the estate. Mention the jams! Maybe that will cheer her up. I am sorry to cut this so short, I hear footsteps downstairs. I must go pretend I am asleep.  I am so happy that you are returning home! I look forward to your next letter, and I cannot wait to embrace you again! Yours always, Duckie. P.s: Will you be bringing back any surprises for me?