Reaping Me Softly

Chapter 52 - A New Life

A life like this was something average one wanted.

Studying abroad was not easy. It took a lot of adjustments, shed a pail of tears, a courage to wake up and attend school which means handling, and communicating with different races. It was not a big deal but, it was tiring to interact. It took away one’s energy just trying to fit in with other people’s cultures. The mere fact that I’m not in my home country, it felt like I had to study everything again. Like I was back in square one and that I need to learn the country I had migrated to.

Thankfully, those just lasted for a year. It was hard to adjust in the environment one was not used to. However, it was fulfilling to explore things.

People around me never gave up on me. Especially him...

I’m thankful for he didn’t get tired in teaching me. He was there when I needed someone the most. When I was at my lowest point, he was there.

He never leave.

My husband listened to my cries. My heartaches, my anger, and even my frustration. He took it all in as I vented out whenever I’m feeling down of everything. Partly, I know I have been not a good wife to him in obvious reason. Yet I was trying to make things work between us.

He never failed to attend to my needs. Alec gave me everything. His attention and care, the support my family has not given to me, and the love...

It was amazing to be feel loved. Clearly, I have thought that I don’t deserved to be with him. He was too good for someone like me who has been tainted.

It was not an issue. I know it wasn’t, and will never be. Somehow, I just thought it was sort of unfair to him.

I didn’t hear him complain. From the start, when we were still adjusting to the marriage, when we felt like we’re responsible of each other, so we need to take care for our own sake.

We realized it... When our situation and status totally sunk into our minds, everything has changed.

He started making me feel safe. I know... I know it hard for him to leave everything behind, and so as me... It was not easy. It has never been easy to totally forget the people that became part of our lives.

But for us... For our mental state, we did try.

Deep inside me, I was hurt. The memories from the past hunted me every time I close my eyes. Then, I have come to the point where I got tired of crying. And that my eyes were extremely sore that tears stopped coming out. Feeling my heart shattered into pieces upon recalling the memories...

It was exhausting. I wanted to stop the pain, get rid of everything that reminded me of the excruciating memories, and just be me again... The better me...

Realizing that I was not me anymore, I have decided to put myself in the top list of my priority.

And letting go of everything was my first step to move forward.

It was something I thought I couldn’t never do. However, it was not just me that has believe in myself, but Alec, too. We believed in our capabilities of just forgetting everything and start a new life.

A life that was meaningless before, and now...

It has turned to be the meaningful phase of my life.

Alec became my everything for the past years. I think I wouldn’t be in my position now if it was not because of him. He lifted me up, has became my best friend and a good caring husband one can rarely have.

He was everything. Everyday I thank God for giving him. He was like an angel sent from above and I couldn’t, really, ask for more.

Everything about him... It was charming. I never regret knowing him deeply. I would have regret it if I didn’t give us a chance.

Really, I appreciate him. Beyond words...

“The ceremony will start soon. You sure you’ll make it?”

Chuckling, I watched his face crumpled in disappointment not far away from my position.

“I’ll be there, of course. I wouldn’t lose this chance watching my husband in stage expressing his gratitude.”

Slowly, a smile crept on his lips. “Gimme a kiss later.”

“Yup! Yup! I can even give it now. You want?”

“You’re giving me hopes,” he pouted.

I smiled.

He was there standing in the crowd, wearing the dress he wanted for so long. After years of hardship, he finally finished his Intense Training in Medical School. His smiles can’t be wiped off of his lips. His eyes were twinkling in happiness and I’m here, just watching him with my heart filled with joy.

I am so proud of him.

My husband... He managed his time well being a caring husband and a good student. He excels in everything and I couldn’t be more proud of him.

“Gash, I’m tearing up...” I laughed. I blink numerous times to stop the tears from falling.

I’m in glee. I am so happy for him... For us. It was fulfilling to be here with him in his most special day. To think that we both cried because of the stressful days we had just to be in this situation.

I’m proud. Beyond proud. Not just because of his success, but also at the thought that I was there with him, supporting him... Lifting him up just like he did for me when I needed someone.

There’s no words that can help describe my feelings right now.

Overwhelming. God, thank you.

Seeing him this happy is too precious. I don’t want it to be wiped off. Alec is too precious.

“Hey, you should go and show yourself. He has been waiting for you since he arrived. Look at his hopeful face...”

A friend beside me chuckled upon staring at him, looking down on his phone.

“I will...” I smiled. “Of course, the first person he expects to see today is me,” I said. A hint of boastfulness crossed my face.

I started walking towards his direction. For some reason, I felt nervous. It’s not like this was the first time that I attended in his special days... I was always there to celebrate with him. In every triumph, I was there for him.

I shrugged the feeling away. Maybe I’m just excited. This was something we both anticipated before. Something we both cried in frustrations... This day, all his sleepless nights was paid off. And I couldn’t be more proud of him.

My husband... As his wife, I’m proud of how he became for the past six years. Alec was someone everyone would ask for. He never forgot his responsibility as a partner, and of course, as a Medical student.

Honestly, he was the person I know that was really consistent.

I smiled at the thought. Words are not enough to describe how proud I am of him. It was not measurable... It’s beyond words.

I stopped walking midway when he raised his head, then his eyes landed on mine. Slowly, a smile crept on his lips.

From afar, I could see how his eyes spark in happiness. Even the wide smile forming on his lips was contagious. It was genuine...

Alec was too genuine. For almost seven years, I have learned to read his eyes. When he’s lying, sad, or happy... Something he hates about as he can’t hide anything from me.

I didn’t bother to meet him halfway. As he quickly ran towards me and without a word, he wraps his arms around me as lifted me up from the ground, spinning around.

“You’re here...” he whispered. “I knew it. You always tend to surprise me, Lia...”

“I love surprising you,” I chuckled, nuzzling his neck to hide my face from everyone.

There were a lot of people surrounding us. Alec was affectionate, even in public and we are a total opposite.

Although I really don’t mind.

“And I wouldn’t let this day pass, Alec,” I said softly. “This is our most awaited day. And now that it has come, I should be here celebrating with you, right?”

I felt him kissed my hair. “A wifely duty. I like that.”

Rolling my eyes, I tapped his shoulders which made him let go of me.

“I’m always doing my duty as your wife,” I boasted. “I should be awarded as being your most supported wife in the whole world. Bet you can’t disagree with it as it was true, right?”

I let out a small chuckles. He smirked and push me more towards him, making me zip my mouth. I grip on my hands on his nape as I met his eyes.

“You are the best wife, Lia...” he whispered, smiling. “You’re all I ask for. You make me so happy and I wouldn’t replace it with something not worth it. You are my wife... Alec Ayala’s wife... You are Dahlia Possenti Ayala.”

I tilted head, smiling. “And you are my husband.”

“A husband that matters above all else.”

I shook my head. “Nope... You matter, yes. But not all above else, baby.” I smirked.

His forehead creased. “This is unfair...”

“Nope...” I replied. “Let’s just accept the fact that my dreams are still more important than you.”

Rolling his eyes, he hugs me again.

We both know what we wanted in the future. Creating a family with him was something I was not ready for. I still want to achieve my dreams. Maybe after having everything I wanted in life... Maybe that time will come that I’m ready for kids.

I’ve been with children because of my chosen career. Honestly, I’m in love with them. Being able to serve them fill the gap in my heart. It was fulfilling... I can’t deny the fact that I also thought of having kids on my own to take care of as I served the children.

But it just stayed in my mind. I never expressed it to Alec. Although he has been telling me that he wanted kids in the future, yet, at some point, I’m still not ready.

He understands me.

“I’m rooting for you, Lia...” he whispered. “You’ll be a pediatrician soon. And if you officially become one, I’m demanding to have a child with you. Marriage felt incomplete without a mini you, or a mini me running in the household.”

Sighing, I nodded slightly. “Of course, Alec. Now isn’t just the right time for it. I still want to enjoy our marriage life. Just you and me...”

“Baby, you’ve been enjoying me for years now. Almost seven years of being married yet you still wanted to keep me alone.”

“Isn’t this what you want, too?” I asked slowly. “You’ll proceed on your residency after this. We’ll both be busy with that, Alec. I think we won’t have that much time to even look at our children all the time.”

We both fell silent.

His family was pressuring us to have a child already. Meanwhile, my parents were not bugging me in that matter which I’m thankful for.

To be honest, I’m still scared. I know what happened before was something that won’t happen again, hopefully. However, a part of me can’t still get over... Losing a child scares me. It has brought me a trauma and bearing another one for me...

I don’t think I’m ready for it. Although I’d be willing to be a mother again, but maybe in the right time.

I’ll be busy, too, with my training. While Alec will have his residency soonest. We’re slowly achieving our goals. And we wanted to attain it first so we have something to at least, show off before we build our own family.

He pulled away from the hug. “Remember that I want three kids...”

“You are at it again,” I scoffed. “I’m handling a lot of kids in the ward every day, Alec. You might want to visit for some time and see kids.”

“I will, soon...” he uttered.

Slowly, he leaned on closer to my face. It was as if my eyes has its own mind that it closes right before I felt his soft lips on mine.

“I love you, Lia...” he whispered and I smiled.