Forbidden Love

John and Seraphina is so in love with each other, but before that they were enemies, Seraphina would bully John and laugh at him but he never cared, he was dating her friend and after a few months they broke up for a unknown reason, John been hanging out with Seraphina since the break up between him and her friend as well as her friend not liking her anymore because of it. They were so in love that he visited Seraphina a few times and even helped her with her homework, when Seraphina went to her parents about wanting to date John they instantly said no. Seraphina wasn't going to take that for a answer and got mad at her parents and started hiding things from them, they didn't understand her at all because everything she would try to talk to them they will yell and get in her face and sometimes get physical, she just wanted to get out and be free to do whatever she wants, eat whatever she wants, have her own rules and say in things. It all seemed like a dream to her, as she was hiding things from her parents they caught on and started stalking her social media accounts, Seraphina convinced John to sneak into the house to see her they planned everything out so well, John will sneak out just to see Seraphina and they would talk and have intercourse, this went on for while and their parents caught on when Seraphina was acting strange, the parents caught them having intercourse and Seraphina's dad beat John and her mother called the police but the police never did anything because the intercourse wasn't r**e because she gave him concent, Seraphina ran away from home to go see John, she slept out on the streets since she had no where's to go, then she started feeling weird. The normal pregnancy symptoms was showing more and more. Seraphina didn't know what to do about the situation when the pregnancy test came up positive, her parents weren't happy about it and John's parents denied it until they have proof that it was his kid. Seraphina couldn't handle the stress her parents was putting on her, she ended up having a miscarriage and the lost of her grandparents and a friend along with her dog and fell into a deep depression state, her parents put her in a mental institution to get her some help but it didn't do much good. She went to live with her grandparents and went back to school as well as getting a job, Her Grandma started cheating on her Grandpa, her Grandma let her see John very little of the time but then got her in trouble for telling her Grandpa lies about arguing with her to see him. Seraphina and John went to school together and walked home from the bus stop together, her Grandma didn't want Seraphina around anymore and put her in a mental institution from lying to her therapist that she's been seeing for depression. After Seraphina left the mental institution she moves back in with her parents just to run away again this time living with John and his parents, at that point she was cleaning and taking care of his little sister even cook sometimes. Seraphina was forced to do everything his mother said including being forced to sit in the front room on the couch watching pregnancy documentaries, all she can think about was the miscarriage. Seraphina was so upset by this that when John came back to the house after working a job that his stepdad got him she went upstairs and told him everything that happened, he brushed it off as if it was nothing and they were talking about their miscarriage and how things should have happened. Seraphina and John was still having intercourse and everything was going fine besides his parents always nagging about things, months went on and the intercourse was becoming more frequent, when Seraphina and John visited his friends everything was going perfectly fine like usual, but as it got later Seraphina wasn't feeling so well. Seraphina became more lightheaded and dizzy for no reason, nothing was making sense at all, she got down the stairs and to John's car as she waits for him she tries to rest but she couldn't, 3 hours passed and still nothing so she calls him. Still nothing a half hour later he comes out of the house and was about to drive home, Seraphina stopped him and told John that they need to get to the hospital right now because something wasn't right. They arrived at the hospital at 8:15pm, the doctors did blood work and had 2 and a half of fluids put in a IV and into her blood stream, by time the 3rd bag of fluids was going into her blood stream halfway through it she was feeling better again, the doctor told her that her results came back as she is indeed pregnant and severely dehydrated, they gave her prenatal vitamins and told her to drink lots of fluids and get some sleep. John and Seraphina arrived at the house at 5:36am and went straight into the room, but before they could John's mom was inferiated because she wanted us back at 8:00pm exact, John explained everything but left out the part that I was pregnant while I went upstairs to lay down. Seraphina got to the top of the stairs when his sister ambushed her with questions, telling his sister to go to bed his sister Remi refused to, John got upstairs as I'm still talking to Remi, I went in the bedroom as John ignorantly told her to go to bed. Once John got into the room Seraphina told him that he didnt have to be so ignorant with her as John said she should have already been in bed and asleep, didn't want to argue anymore I asked John for a cup of water because I was still feeling sick and dizzy but instead he gave me pop and told me to drink it instead, I drinked the pop and lay down on the bed to avoid anymore arguing and went to sleep. I slept in a little bit in the morning as to last night when I wasn't feeling good, John was no where to be found and Remi rushed in the room asking me if she can hangout and that John was in the kitchen cooking, I told her I don't know Im just waking up and I'm not feeling so good at the moment, John comes in the room with 2 plates and we started eating as Remi was still waiting for a answer. John said we have things to do today and that she can hangout later, she leaves the room and I ask him what do we have planned for today, he told me that we had to go shopping for ourselves and that he has his larping to do today, things weren't the best after that, and at 4 months pregnant I was kicked out of his parents house because they found out I was pregnant. John left with me and we were out on the streets, his friend offered us to stay with him and his mom, while we were there I was applying for WIC and Food Stamps as well as trying to get a stable place, John was playing videogames with his friend and didn't even care, I was worried about losing the baby like last time, I was so desperate to figure things out to help our situation. I got us to live with a relative of mine and then surprisingly moved in with my parents again, John moved in with me and problems start building for us, my parents put chores on us like crazy and there was constant fighting, nothing was going well they even put us down a lot which is very unfair since I shouldn't have been putting up with it all especially since I was pregnant. I wanted to leave and run away again because I was scared for my baby's life and I didn't want to be in this horrible situation all over again, as my pregnancy was father along there were complications, I couldn't feel the baby move or any contractions unless it was very sever contractions. I was always going to the hospital for a check up on the baby as well as going to my ob appointments and trying to deal with everything at my parents house and planning things such as gender reveal party and a baby shower, John didn't want to be apart of any of it, he wouldn't even help me plan anything or even interact with the baby in the womb, he just kept refusing to and I never knew why. The baby reveal party went well I was going to have a baby girl in October and I got to interact with my relatives that weren't very supportive at first but was trying to warm up to it all, the baby shower went ok I guess my aunt made it all about her and I wasn't really allowed to do anything but at least I got to accociate with my relatives and had a good time. I can't shake the feeling that I was missing the whole experience of being pregnant and that did upset me a lot because I was hoping for a better experience like everyone that talks about their pregnancies, I was hoping for the same experience but I didn't get that, I was just happy that my baby was healthy and ok. While I was planning my baby shower my aunt had a problem with everything I wanted to do for it, she didn't like the theme or the food and drinks I wanted, she didn't like the time I wanted it at or the day, it's like I couldn't satisfied her so she would stop complaining about my baby shower, it was so unfair that she would complain about everything and had it all how she wanted it to look like and she got her way, it was everything she wanted for my baby shower. I thought I was so selfish of her but I didn't want to stress out over arguing about it I put my foot down on the day and time and I had to choose a theme that she wanted to do, I also had to help out put everything together even tho I was pregnant and trying to stay off my feet, the day of the baby shower was hot and it started to down pour. After the baby shower it started to down pour, we were rushing to get everything back to the house and inside, the gifts, the food, the drinks, everything. Me and my parents sat outside on the porch because it was cooler outside then it was in the house, my grandma and aunt joined us while John was inside on the game with my brothers. Things got worse from there, more arguments happened more distance between me and my parents, after awhile of the constant fighting between the 4 of us I just wanted to leave even more, in October I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl through a C-section and was healing from it, after 2 days in the hospital I was able to bring my baby home with me and couldn't wait to dress her up. My baby Amber was beautiful but she made things a little difficult, feedings wasn't really any good because she wouldn't latch on to my boob or the n****e shield that was given to me, the formula that the hospital gave me she couldn't hold down, she kept throwing it all up and I wasn't producing enough breast milk to keep breastfeeding her. I called the Doctor's and they told me to get ahold of WIC for formula, I did as told and called WIC explaining the situation, they gave me formula fit for sensitive stomach for my baby, me and John both have had it with my parents, Amber was 7 months when we moved out into a motel and at 10 months we got evicted and lived with a old teacher of mine. Needless to say she became a terrible person to us, and she kicked us out right after Christmas, Amber was 1 years old when I moved back in with my parents alone. John left me for another girl and I took custody away from him no matter how much I love him, he beat me and left me. Now I'm a single mother trying to make it in the world the best that I can and give my baby a better life then what she has and had to go through, but all these turn of events and hardships just made me and Amber stronger and closer then before, and I'm glad to have her in my life and I'll continue to count my blessings and hope for a miracle. Amber means the world to me and I hope that everything works out for us, her father leaving was the worse thing that could happen to us but we have to keep pushing forward to better ourselves and to move on from the pain and the hurt that was brought upon us. I hope I never see him again but you can't help with seeing people we don't like in public, that's just life but that doesn't mean we can't avoid them either. I know it's wrong to hate the man I used to love so much that I literally would do anything for, but he put himself through it on his own, he doesn't ask about Amber he didn't even care that she was in the hospital, I mean what kind of man does that to a baby? That's just so horrible when she has done nothing wrong to deserve it. Amber was in the hospital because I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't stop screaming and throwing up, my mom went to a friend's house who had the flu and my mom caught it but she isolated herself so no one else got sick, my dad drove us to the hospital and I rushed her in while my dad went back to the house, from 8:30pm-1:15am we were waiting in the hospital, during that time they did a series of tests. By 1:15am the doctor told me that Amber has the flu and that they will send her antibiotics in the pharmacy, I got on the phone with my dad to come get us while I wait for the discharge papers, I texted John to tell him what's going on but he didn't even care all he did was brushed me off like I was nothing. 1:28am we leave the hospital and at 1:36am we arrived at the house, I got Amber in her bed and got her to sleep and then I got my shoes off as well as myself going to bed. The next day I texted my friend and told her what happened and as to expect she was furious on what John did, and only after she blew up on him that's when he asked me about Amber and got ignorant over it as well. John never cared about us, our 4 year relationship was nothing to him and he made that pretty clear, I was furious with him when he threatened to take Amber away from me, he isn't fit to be a parent he didn't even care that she was in the hospital, he doesn't care if she gets hurt or not, all he cares about is himself! He purposely kept us homeless and when he got a job he finds a way to get fired, I didn't mind being a stay at home mom even though I got put down a lot from it but I still did it, and when I'm actually trying to get a job no one will hire me, I'm at a lost for words and slowly losing hope but I still hang on hoping for the best. John accused me of cheating and I never did, he was the one cheating on me! He left me because I found out that he was cheating on me, it's not like he was trying to hide it either, he used to text me all the time and out of nowhere he stopped saying he is busy or cleaning, John never cleans and he is never busy like how stupid does he think I am? I didn't have any proof of him cheating on me but then he kicks me off of our shared account and changed the password on it as well as the name and picture on the account, so I started questioning him about it but all he said was he wanted his own account, I was angry that he completely locked me out of our shared account that I made for both of us! He never cared tho and as usual things went on because I didn't have any proof, a girl texted me saying 2 weeks ago on New Years when John left me to help a friend the girl said he left and had s*x with her and it wasn't the first time it happened either, I don't believe in rumors or people just trying to start a fight so I confronted him about it and to my surprise he admitted to it. He said he felt horrible about it all, after a few hours I gave him a 2nd chance because that's just who I am, things went back to normal between us but after a few weeks he went back to what he was doing when he was cheating, so I questioned him about it and he told me that he found someone else and he is leaving me that she lives in Arizona. I was crushed, but there was nothing I could do about it, so the courts found out and I went in to sign papers so that I get full custody over Amber, he missed 1 court date so we have to go into court again, if he doesnt show up then he goes to jail and I'm hoping he does because all the abuse and neglect and the threats he did I think he deserves it. A few days ago I was spending time with a friend and my friend told me that John is here in town, his new girlfriend never lived in Arizona she lives right down that street, I was even more furious then ever with him, not only has our entire relationship been a lie but he is still lying! My friend told that John was telling his girlfriend about how I was the one abusing him when I never did, all I did was stand up for myself and protected Amber, he didn't like the fact that I protected a 9 month old baby from being abused! So he goes and lies about it all just to look good in front of people. I lost my babysitting job, I lost my daycare job, I been applying for jobs and getting denied, I don't know what he's telling people but it's ruining my life! It's ruining my chances to better my life for Amber and having the money to support her, who the hell does he think he is!? If he does this in court if he shows up I won't stand a chance to defend myself. I don't know why any of this is happening, I don't why he just won't leave us alone, Amber already forgot who he even is, even though it hurts a lot I still kept his pictures to show Amber who her dad is and tell her what he did to us, tell her how it effected our lives because she deserves to know but I can't tell her yet, Amber is only 18 months old and she was crushed about him leaving. I can't bring myself to break her little heart again, when I told her that her daddy left she hugged me and said it's ok mama, that was the most painful moment ever, after 3 months of not seeing her dad she realized he wasn't around anymore and she freaked out, she started having nightmares and screamed for her dad. I would always rush to her side and hold her, I tell her Daddy isn't here it's ok baby as I comfort her and she calms down as well as falling asleep, there's times where I have her sleep next to me in my bed because she's so scared and I don't know what else to do, she doesn't even know who her dad is anymore, and she finally sleeps at night again. It took 5 whole months but she is finally back to her happy self, and I tried dating again but it's not going well at all, people would either block me or trying using me for s*x or just laugh in my face, I found someone though we been dating for 2 weeks and it's not going good at, his name is Blyke and he has a son named Arlo but Blyke refuses to get a job even though he says he will, he also refuses to get his license and a vehicle. Arlo goes back and forth between his dad (Blyke) and his mom (Remi), Arlo is completely out of control because he doesn't get disaplen at all, Remi doesn't care what Arlo does and Blyke plays with him instead of putting him in time-out because he is 3 years old bullying Amber who is 1 years old! I don't like that my baby is being bullied and the parents just doesn't care! I tell Blyke that his son is a bully, Blyke just says no he isn't and walks away I mean who does that? Blyke literally watches Arlo push Amber down run her leg over with a toy and won't let her get up at all, my poor baby is so defenseless and Blyke allows it to happen! It's not wonder this child is out of control! Blyke is letting him get away with bad behavior and wonders why he can't play well with kids. Arlo runs in the middle of the street and then Blyke runs after him, thats child endangerment! I can let Amber walk beside me with no problems, Blyke always puts Arlo in a stroller and says he can't wait until Arlo starts school, so what? So he can bully kids at school and then get kicked out. I'm sorry if I'm ranting but what else do you think will happen? He can't just go around beating on other kids, he needs to be taught a lesson, Arlo beats on Amber so much she is terrified whenever he is around, they only been around each other 3 times! I don't think this relationship will work out at all, Blyke picks a fight with me over the littlest things, he even threatened to leave me multiple times as well, I don't need that stress and toxic in my life, he says he wants another kid but he can't control 1. Blyke told me that he wants to have 2 kids with me but he can't even control 1 let alone 2 more! He doesn't even think clearly and he is constantly on his phone watching videos, I'm constantly on my phone applying for jobs which is more important then watching videos online, I can't believe all the horrible luck I keep having! I cant even have a good relationship or a job or a place of my own. I'm living with my parents and my brothers are just mean, Zeke hates everything Amber does and tells me I'm not a good mother because I ask for help and Darren wants nothing to do with Amber, my parents (Vaughan and Jane) are on my case about not paying attention to Amber when I'm trying to get a job and look out for Amber as well as taking care of her non-stop. I'm trying my hardest to constantly multitask and because I don't watch Amber every second of everyday I'm the one at fault when I'm trying to get a job and better our lives, I just can't handle it all, I even applied for SSI for my disability and still nothing! It's very stressful especially when court is coming up. I know if I get a income I'm calling the landlord and asking for my own place because at least then it will be less stressful, Amber can have her own room for once, I won't have to worry about constantly getting into arguments for not paying attention to her and asking Zeke for help. I'll do it all on my own, while I wait for my own place I'll use my first paycheck to get my driver's license and a vehicle overtime of course, so I won't be dependent on people. But I don't know what else I could do, at least I would have a reliable transportation to do things with, I'll be on food stamps to get food in the house, I already know my parents would be calling and texting all the time like they did before. But I need to start somewheres! If I can get money from somewheres and have a income then it can be extra money I need to support Amber's needs like clothes, shoes, medicines if needed, school supplies, birthday parties, Christmas, Easter, all these things I'll need money for and with child support I'll only be getting $119 which isn't much at all! That is just enough for diapers and wipes that's it! With Blyke wanting 2 more kids, I'm sorry to say but if it happens I'm taking custody over those kids because he isn't reliable and to me that's sad and concerning, I don't care if I have a blended family because I'll help the kid/kids whenever I can, I'll be thankful for it all too but I just don't know about it. I do want a big family but I want to be responsible and know I can support a big family before I do anything, I want to be financially prepared and ready for a big family and have a vehicle as well as a house of my own before anything because I don't want a newborn to go through the same thing that Amber went through her whole life! It hurts and it's very upsetting but as I said before there is nothing I can do about it, with no support or any help with things it sucks! Really it does and the last thing I want to hear is how irresponsible I am having another kid that I can't afford, so I need to be financially ready for it all. My dream of a big family was I wanted to get a IVF done to increase my chances on having multiples, Me and John planned on having nonuplets 7 girls and 2 boys, but instead I want to keep that dream and have all 9 girls, I don't want my dream to fall apart all because he left me. The names of the nonuplets was going to be Skyler, Rio, Ria, Melanie, Phoebe, Rosetta, Winnie, Reese, and Vienna. They were all going to have his last name and everything but instead I'm hoping for my 9 little miracles and they will have my last name instead. But as I said before I want to be stable before anything and I doubt it will even happen, but at least I can have that little bit of hope to get me to push myself even further as well as doing it for Amber then I'm happy. My only friend doesn't even give me credit for anything I do which is very frustrating, she keeps saying I'm using my disability as a excuse when I'm not and I tell her that and everything I've been doing she argues the point, I have very low self-esteem at this point, I even want to just give up but I refuse to give up because I want to better my life for Amber and hopefully the future nonuplets. I might have given up on myself but I will never give up on them, they mean the world to me. Even though I have no one else and no support, at least I can give them the support and be there for them whenever they need me, I want to also help John's little sister (Khloe) she is being neglected by her parents and emotionally as well as mentally abused, once I'm stable enough I want to try and get custody over her so I can give her a better life that she deserves because no one should live like that. If for whatever reason I can't get custody over her, I'm going to try and adopt a child, the miscarriage has been extremely hard on me and if I can get a child around the same age as my miscarriage would have been then maybe my heart can finally start to heal itself from the lost of the baby. I don't care about the money I'll get from the state for adopting a child, I care about the child not the money, yeah the money will help out a lot but I still don't care about it, my priority will be on the child and Amber and a place. But that's it for now beautiful people, I hope to see clarity and a bright future for myself and my toddler, I also hope you all have a great peaceful day and life, love you all so much!