I Was Lost

Chapter 8

Years ago

"Hey baby!"

I sexily uttered as I wrapped my arm around his.

I really love this man.

"What the f**k Rae! What do you think you're doing?!" he yelled.

He's always like this, I mean yelling and all that. He wasn't like this before but ever since that woman came, everything changed.

"Baby, why are you like that? Didn't you miss me? It's been days since we last saw each other, hmm." I said as I let my hand trace his cheeks, to his jaw, down to his chest.

He grabbed my hand then pushed me forcefully.

"Don't you ever test my patience,

I invited you here as a respect but I didn't expect you'd still be like this."

He looked at me with eyes full of hatred and disgust before leaving me and went to a lady where he wrapped his hand territorially.

He never looked at me with eyes raging with anger before. He was the sweetest guy you would ever know but, when that girl came, I lost him.

That b***h!

Don't you dare think that I will stop.

He's mine. Mine!

Nandito ako sa bahay ni Dee. Well, I miss him so I'm here to see him. I'm certain that he misses me too.

"Dee!" Tumili ako. I'm so excited to see him. It's been like a week, since I last saw him. We separated in a foul mood because of that damn woman. Pero alam kong hindi ako matitiis ni Dee. He loves me!

It looks like he isn't here? It's silent. Might as well check his room. Baka nandon siya.

Paakyat na ako nang marinig kong marahang bumukas ang pintuan ng isang kwarto. He's awake.

" Dee!" I immediately ran upstairs. Can't hide tye excitement.

Just as I reached the floor. A woman is standing at the hall, looking at me withe wide eye.

Tumaas ang kilay ko. Anong ginagawa ng babaeng to dito? This is Dylan's house, not her's.

" Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I'm slowly stepping my feet forward, emitting a dangerous aura.

You should be scared darling. No other girl can enter his house except me.

" Dylan brought me here."

That made me stop. Siya? Dinala ni Dylan dito? I even forced him to bring me here and this woman... This woman was invited by Dee? I can feel my rage building up. What's so special about this woman anyway? She's nothing but an attention seeker, wild-assed b***h.

" Dylan? He would never. In fact he bought this for me." Take that! What are you gonna do now, lady? Cry?

" Totoo nga ba?" Oh, I want to wipe that smirk of her face.

Naglalakad na siya papunta sakin ngayon. I'm still steps away from the stairs so I can't step back that easily. As if I'll step back!

" You know, Louise Rae. I never pictured you out as someone so desperate to have the love so obvious that you can't have."

Nasa harapan ko na siya ngayon. Taunting me. Kumuyom ang palad ko.

She pointed my shoulder with so much force that caused me to step back.

" Hinayaan kita sa mga ginawa mo sa akin. The insults, everything! But now, you're not messing with me."

She folded her arms on her chest and looked at me in the eye.

" I know the feeling of how you love a person who can't love you back. But never did I let my dignity fall just to have him. It feels like you're already selling yourself cheap, you know, but no one's still interested."

How could she— Tinaas ko ang kamay ko at handa na sana siyang sampalin nang nahawakan niya ito.

" Violence, that's below me."

She let go of my hand forcefully and left me with a smirk. Akmang bababa na siya nang magsalita ako. Her back facing me.

" And do you really think that he loves you?" She stopped on her tracks and turned to me seriously

Well, well, well. Not so confident are we. It's my time to mock her.

" Do you really think he'll remain loyal to you when you're not watching? What do you know? He might even be?"

I said whispering the last line. Raising my eyebrows. Making her understand what I meant. She's not dumb not to know what I mean.

Nginisihan lang niya ako at pinakita ang kaliwang kamay. There's a diamond ring!

Nanghihilakbot na nagpabalik-balik ang tingin ko sa kaniya at sa kamy niya. No!

" What do you think?"

With that, she left me. Damn her!

Kinakain ako ng matinding inis, selos, galit. Bakit siya? Bago ko pa mamalyan ang ginagawa ko. Sinusundan ko na siya pababa ng hagdanan at nang mabutan ay tinulak. Iwas so mad! So mad! Why the fuckin' did she get a promise ring. Dylan and I were together ever since we were young. Why can't he choose me! Why can't he love me?

Bababa na sana ako para sugurin ulit si Jilien nang makita kong dumudugo ang ibabang parte ng katawan niya.

" Ang anak ko... N-no... Help. Please. My baby please."

Natulala ako. Sinisikap niyang gumapang papunta sa pintuan. Nanlamig ang katawan ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin.

A cry of pain made me come back to my reverie. Malapit na siya sa pintuan ngayon. Tumakbo ako palapit sa kaniya at tinulungan siyang tumayo. Slowly, we went out. I made her sit at the back of the car. I can't call anyone for help 'cause they don't have any helpers in the house and every house in this damn village are meters away.

God, please help us.

Nasa loob na siya ng emergency room, ako naman ay naghihintay sa labas. Both of my hands are in my face. Damn, what did I do. I wished for them to fall apart but not this way. My hands are shaking, my insides are cold. What happened to me? s**t.

I called Dylan earlier. Ayaw ko sana siyang tawagan pero wala akong choice. Hindi ko na maalala ang sinabi ko sakaniya dahil sa kaba at takot pero alam kong galit siya. Galit na galit.

Suddenly, a man panting with anger, and worry held both of my shoulder really hard.

" Where is she?" He shouted.

Binuka ko ang bibig ko para magsalita ngunit hindi mahanap ang boses.

" Asan siya?" This time his boice was louder and is shaking at the same time.

Umiliny ako at tiningnan ang kwarto kung nasaan si Jilien.

Binitiwan niya ako. Tumayo siya at inihilamos sa mukha ang palad. Huminga siya ng malalim. Kinakalma ang sarili sa halo-halong nararamdaman. Habang ako'y nakatanaw lang sa kaniya nag-aabang.

Makalipas ang ilang sandali'y nagsalita siya.

" Anong nangyari?"

Tears formed in my eyes. Remembering that scene made my mind in a haywire.

Umiling ako ng umiling at hindi na napigilang umiyak.

He took that as a sign. He knew. It has something to do with me.

" What did you do?"

Lumuhod ako sa harapan niya. Constantly saying sorry. Their baby. Oh my gosh!

" Anong ginawa mo!"

Napapikit ako sa lakas ng boses niya.

" N-nahulog..." At sa putol-putol na salita, sinabi ko sa kaniya ang nangyari.

He was writhing in anger. Naiintindihan ko siya. Who wouldn't. Buhay ng mag-ina niya ang nakasalalay dito.

He was about to blow up when the room opened. A man in a doctor's clothing went out.

" Jilien Ashley's—"

" I'm the husband." Dylan immediately answered. Strange. I'm not hurt. Even though he announced himself as the husband.

I stood up and turned my back. I need to go out. Some fresh air.

" They are both fine. Thankfully, malakas ang kapit ni baby. She didn't—"

Himdi ko na maintindihan ang ibang sinabi ng doctor. All I'm thankful for is that their fine. Thank you, Lord.

Hilam sa luhang sumakay ako sa kotse. I opened my phone only to find that that man had been calling me all day. I texted him. Telling him that I need him.

" Meet me at my house" is what I said.

I spent the afternoon, crying. Regretting everything that I did. Anong nangyari sakin? Hindi naman ako ganito? Hindi ako to!

I looked at the image at the mirror. A stranger is what I saw. A girl with make-ups. Sexy dress. Expensive jewelries. Not me.

Tiningnan ko ang phone ko.

No reply.

Evening came. None. One day. Two days. A week. None.

Where are you, Jin?