Daryl face was still close to mine when I finally registered what he had just said. He had the pleasure of witnessing my eyes widen from shock. I was shocked by the idea of standing where I would be sleeping forever when I died, but I wasn't self centered. Instead, I was concerned by something else.
"What do you mean Mary's going to die?" How would Daryl know if someone was about meet their demise? But he had the girl digging a grave which meant that he did think that Mary was soon to do so. And what exactly made him think that? Those were questions circulating in my head that I wanted to ask but Daryl had pressed a pale finger against my quivering lips.
"Let me put this simply... no one retires in this household. When their duty is done, they are put to rest," he stated, using the exact same word Mary had used earlier to explain her situation. I was doubly shocked. Daryl moved his finger away from my lips and I was free to speak.
"Does that mean that Mary knows she'll die soon?" Was 'die' the right word I was using at that moment? It made no sense for someone to just die whenever they could no longer work as Daryl said. She was going to be killed, and she knew it, yet she was always nonchalant about what was going to happen to her. Almost as though she had enough time to grow accustomed to the tradition.
"Exactly," was his simple reply.
The horror I felt intensified at that moment. I didn't know what I had walked into until that moment when Daryl explained it to me. I was adopted at the orphanage to work for the rest of my life; the rest of my life because the moment I could no longer work, my life would be over, literally. Who knew when in the future that would be? What if I succumbed to an injury? Would I be forced to no longer work then?
Mary had to have experienced the same thought process when she discovered her fate. Yet she was calm and collected, and too content with her fate. If that was the case, then I would have no choice but to accept it all in future, and considering how terribly my heart ached, I doubted it would happen.
"I recognize that look on your face..." the girl said from behind Daryl. I didn't look at her this time.
"Why wouldn't I feel like this," I said in a quiet tone, "... look at this place. I don't want to be buried here. These servants don't even have headstones. I'm probably standing on top of someone's grave right now." I didn't move from the spot despite what I said. I would only end up standing on top of someone else. I wanted to be buried next to my parents, a place where people I loved could visit me even after I died. Did these servants have any parents or family? When was the last time the family visited their grave?
Did Mary have a family? If so, did they know that she would be gone soon? Did they accept it just as she did? Just as I was supposed to?
"Don't worry, you aren't." It was Daryl who brought me out of my thoughts by confirming that I was not violating someone's eternal sleep. He watched me closely, especially the expression on my face. He had seen it all too many times. To him, I was just the same as all the other servants who were used and discarded once they could not be used anymore. While he was supposed to feel sorry for me, he didn't. All he did was turn away from me and returned to inspect the grave.
The girl was done and had tossed the shovel aside. She walked past me and instead of going inside the mansion, she went around it to get to the front. I didn't even notice her leave until Daryl spoke once again.
"Are you just going to stand there all night?"
I raised my head and shook it slowly. I wasn't going to waste anymore time. Mary didn't have much time left and I wanted to speak to her. Daryl instantly understood my intentions and once again appeared before me when I turned to walk towards the door.
"You aren't going to see Mary," he said as more of a statement than a question.
"What makes you so sure I won't?" I asked. I wasn't going to try to get past him again because he would only get in my way again.
"Because she doesn't want to see you. She won't open her door even if you beg or cry-"
"Even so, I'll still try." My chest was aching in pain. One might think that it makes no sense for me to sympathize so much with a person I just met, but Mary truly was a kind soul. She was a woman whose fate I was going to share; and I was a girl whose fate the other children would have to share as well. I had so much to ask her.
How was I going to explain everything to the other children? Why was she not bothered by all that was taking place? How was I to spend the rest of my life under the tutelage of my cruel new parents? I know understood why Daryl had said the word in sarcasm. They weren't my parents and they would never be. No parents would send their children to the grave. No parents would toss aside their children because they weren't useful to them. No child was supposed to die before their parents, yet everything was going to happen. I had to understand but Daryl still stood in my way.
"Why won't you let me through?" At that point I was angry. I was infuriated because Daryl would not let me see Mary.
"When Mary told you she was retiring, that's what she truly wants you to believe. She doesn't want you to think that she died. I wasn't supposed to reveal all that I did to you but even I don't find this fair at all." I had to hold in the urge to scoff. A vampire sympathizing with a human; that was something I had never heard of before.
"Get out of my way..." I moved to step past him and he seized by shoulders with his strong hands. I tried to struggle to get free, but he kept me in place until I stopped struggling.
"You're going to be in her position one day... would you want the younger servants to live out their lives thinking that they'll be discarded in the end?" He asked and finally managed to pull myself free from him.
"Then why did you tell me? Do you think I want to live my life worrying about that?" I had not noticed but hot tears were on the brink of flowing down my cheeks. Daryl heaved a sigh and shook his head.
"I know you don't, but you're different. You aren't just any ordinary maid," he said. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"What do you mean?" That question put Daryl in a short train of thought.
"I would rather not tell you. I've revealed too much already. Just know that Mary's probably thinking about her last moments right now. I doubt she'll even get some sleep. I can tell that she cares about you so don't make this harder for her than it already is," his voice had softened halfway through his words. It melted away some of the pain I felt in my felt. Mary was the only person who understood me and who I could confide in ever since I arrived. She comforted me and helped me get comfortable with my new home.
I hated that I would have to part with her so soon. It reminded me of when I parted with the other children at the orphanage. I wasn't over the departure yet and already I had to say farewell to someone else. I was scared that I would be left alone with no one to understand me, but Daryl's
words helped me realize that even without Mary I wouldn't be alone.
I had no intentions of doing it, but when Daryl pulled me in to his chest, I gladly rested my head against it. He was cold and I sensed no heartbeat at all. It was a strange yet comforting sensation. I couldn't feel his heartbeat but he could definitely feel mine. Neither of us could see each other's faces; neither the tears flowing down my face and wetting his shirt, nor the mischievous smirk that was playing at his face.
The dawn of the next morning held an eerie sensation in the atmosphere. I went down to the kitchen and did not find Mary like I usually did when I woke up. My heart sank all the way down to the pit of my stomach. I felt empty and afraid. I was alone, the only human left in the mansion. I was in charge of all the duties but I didn't feel like doing anything.
I failed to properly iron my uniform that morning and a few wrinkles could be seen here and there. I did not have the strength to even pick up the broom, but I had to, and I did. I began by cleaning around the kitchen and when I came across the curtains, I drew them and looked over to the corner where Mary's grave was supposed to be. The hole was still visible and hadn't been filled yet. My heart skipped a beat as it was filled with some hope.
Daryl told me not go and see her but at that moment that was all I wanted to do. I dropped the broom and hurried down the hallways. Mary's room was on the other side of the mansion, right next to the section that was torn down. The end of the hallway was covered by a large tarp and streaks of burns flowed along the walls and the floor, stopping right by her door.
I inhaled deeply and raised my hand to knock on the door, but I ceased all movements before I did. If Daryl was right, then Mary would not open the door for me if I knocked. I would have to enter her room without her permission. There was also the chance that her door could have been locked but upon turning the doorknob I found that it wasn't. I pushed the door to open slightly wide and peak inside to look for Mary...