LAYERS OF LOVE (LOL)

As I adjust the bouquet of flowers underneath my veil, the chords of nervousness weave through my stomach. I feel myself questioning if this is the right decision. I keep wondering how I am making this move but then I remember it is how it was meant to be. I feel my leg shift nervously under the many layers of the ball gown I had chosen for my wedding. This is not the time or place yet I can feel the mask I have worked for hours to maintain slip. They had told me I would be nervous but none had prepared me for what I am feeling. A little bit of me is sure I have puked in my mouth more than once. The little door to the vestry pops open and someone walks through coming straight to me. Through my blurry eyes, it takes a while for me to put a face to the mass walking towards me. I take a deep breath and sigh in relief as I discover it is only my maid of honor. I quickly compose myself before giving her my best practiced smile. She smiles back with more vim than I was ready for. Immediately I know it is time. Every step towards the altar feels like I'm pulling weights from my ankle. However when I lift my eyes and I meet his warm walnut ones, I feel it melt away. I am reminded of the entire reason I am there to begin with. I can see the love shining through them, or maybe the unshed tears from seeing me walking towards him. He thought I wouldn't come. A little voice at the back of my head sensitizes me. I quickly ignore it just like I'm ignoring the other pairs of eyes that are burning holes to my sides and back. All that matters right now is him. My darling, the man who laid out salvation for me when I was too far gone. I can hardly believe it's been five years since that time. Slowly I move forward unable to avoid the pull coming from him. He certainly beacons me like a moth to a flame. I feel a small touch of a smile fleet over my face. I quicken my steps tired of being the center of attention. I can hear my MOH chuckle behind me at my fast pace. Somewhere in my brain a little reminder of how impatient I look is jutting out.