Fractions of grief

Love is to me what death is to a joyful life, love is grief, love is winter morning cold and wet. Love is loss dressed in hope, failure dressed in opportunity. Love to me is distant and cruel. What is love is experiencing a night of terror alone in a hotel room? The feeling of choking in your sleep, something seating on your chest, a heavy feeling of despair and death. What is love to me but tears filling empty buckets? Hope...a feeling so distant to me tomorrow isn't even present anymore, tomorrow is today dressed in a different outfit. What is tomorrow but a repeat of today, yesterday, and years before? Trust? I am it, I live it, I give it but yet to receive or experience it. I have been a shoulder, a home, a haven, and an anchor to people who tied a rope on my legs with an anchor attached and threw me into the bottom of the ocean. Peace...my mind is racing, my thoughts are not my own, I'm not alone in my head I'm with you. I'm with hurt, I'm with sadness, I hear the voice of death constantly calling my name, I hear your sorrow, I feel your defeat. My mind is not my own, it's busy in here. There is traffic, a rush-hour of thoughts stuck inside. Quiet my heart, cradle my soul, feel my loss just sing my worthlessness to sleep. Sing my heart to sleep, fight the night terrors for me. Sing my soul a lullaby of assurance, quiet my mind, cradle my spirit to rest. What is time but a constant reminder that life goes on regardless of your pain, time is ruthless, time waits for no one, time has no remorse, it goes by so fast pushing you to live with only memories and sorrow? What is time but a missed train, chasing it will not make it stop? Time has no compassion, time has no remorse, it goes by while you sit and grieve time flies past your rage, it rushes to summer, doesn’t stop in winter, it races past autumn, and doesn’t stop to admire the colors of flowers in spring. Time has no intention to comfort broken hearts, it races past your pain leaving behind death to take one's joy. time has no friend, it doesn’t give advice, time rushes through joy like a hurricane flooding through a city and leaving behind destruction. Time is like a tornado, you can see it but cannot stop it, you can predict it coming but cannot avoid its destruction. you can make time but it will never sit with you. Time is in motion as much as we live we can never stop the rush of time or reverse moments. Moments in time are memories in the future, time has no past, no present nor does it have a future. Time isn’t spiritual, emotional, or physical. Time lives but has no face, time moves but cannot be detected, time is present but not tangible. We know there is time for everything yet we cannot predict the intentions of time. we can be stuck in moments but we can never really be stuck in time, our memories will hold us hostage but time will always free you from yourself reminding you not to be attached to it because time has no empathy. We can sit and debate the truth but we cannot debate time or its true intentions, time has no version of its truth time is and will continue to be beyond science and our selfish understanding. Time has no reminder, time doesn’t stop you can stop your watch but time will still be in motion you can set time reminders but time will not stop for you, time has no intention to give anyone a second chance .you can fix your mistakes but you cannot erase the moments. you can stop your clock but night will still come because time doesn’t have settings, what is, will always be and what will be will continue on time. Time is not nature, time exists in nature, you can see tree leaves moved by the wind but you cannot see, time., moving the wind, yet we know time is movement. We understand time and life, but we can never really see time nor see a soul, we know life co-exists with time but how can it be that we can save a life but cannot stop death when time allows it to take a soul. how is it that death can reap a soul without affecting time?is time connected to death more than it is connected to life, how has science been able to predict a birth but cannot predict death?is it because time is lost? Does time exist within death?is death living within time, we know that time only stops where life ends, is death time, or is time sorrow? what is life? because you can waste your life away in time but cannot prolong your life when death comes.