Sweet Nightmare

10

“I will come back, Xyrie. And the next time I come, I will make sure no tears will fall from your eyes again.” He said as we hold each other’s hands. Afraid to let go, afraid to lose our grips, as if someone might take one of us. I wiped my tears but he wiped it for me. “No, don’t cry…”

“When would that day be? Would I even remember it’s you, the first time I see you? Would it take you long?” I’m being serious but he just laughed.

“I’m not sure. But here’s one thing I can promise: I will come back. And by that time, I know I will be capable of protecting you.” Our hands started to separate. Even if I don’t want to, our hands separated. It would be long before our hands collide once again. 

“No, don’t leave…” I whispered. It’s useless I know. He won’t hear me. And even if he does, it would make no difference. We will still separate no matter what. I want to the things the heroines at the stories he tells me to do. I want to jump up so high like a cow and cross the moon. I would look for our stars and I would rewrite everything. Despite the tears of his own, he smiled sweetly at me. At first, I thought he’d let me heal his cut at his cheek, I thought he’d say that he’d changed his mind and would just stay with me and we’d run away like Romeo and Juliet. I thought everything that I’ve seen and heard would just be a scary dream and I would open my eyes any minute to see him beside me I a bed of flowers. We’ll play all day and none of the two of us would be hurt again. Turns out it’s only I who thought about doing those things because he turned and ran.

I woke up and opened my eyes.

Sweet Nightmare*

My cheeks are wet due to my tears. This happens most of the time whenever I feel like he’s just around or he’s thinking about me. Proven and tested because that happened when my mom is sick worried because I went home too late just to pick daisies and fell asleep.

I noticed Myst sleeping beside me. His head rested at the bed’s corner. I moved slowly, careful not to disturb him but he still wakes. He sat upright and looked at me. He wiped my tears with eyes so worried as if he’s looking at someone with a stage five cancer.

“Why are you crying? You just woke up, right? Are you hurt?” he surveyed my whole body.

“It’s nothing. Just a dream. A dream from a painful memory.” Myst busied himself with arranging the soup.

“It must’ve been so painful that it made you cry.” He placed a tray containing a bowl of soup at my lap. “However, you’re sick. You haven’t eaten for days so you need to at least finish this soup.” He fed me and I ate the food he feeds me.

“I can eat on my own. You can leave and do whatever you want or need to do.” I said with my mouth full.

“And then what? You’ll drink all of the liquids of this soup and leave it? This is not your cereal Xyrie.” I looked down. If only food at 3036 is not sugar-free. Oh, how I miss sugar. “Besides, I like taking care of you and… watching you sleep.” I looked at him but he looked away. I snatched the spoon and ate the food by myself. My cheeks are too fat they became two big circles.

“See? I’m eating.” Well not really, I need to take this food out of my mouth later. Myst took the spoon from me.

“I don’t care. You’re the one who’s sick so I’m the one to take care of you.” I took the spoon from him.

“I can take care of myself.’ Myst took hold of the spoon but I gripped it harder that he can’t take it off my fingers.

“Learn to be tolerant. I think it’s time for you to learn to let others take care of you when you know you’re not capable of doing so.” It’s been years since last heard that from someone… I looked at Myst.

“Learn to be tolerant. I think it’s time for you to learn to let others take care of you when you know you’re not capable of doing so.”

“But I need to take care of the people that I love. I can’t just let them die there.”

“Right. You just saw that mouse, you already love it. You know, you must let others do their part. It’s not like you could be capable of doing it forever.”

I slowly let go of the spoon. “You’re not the first person to tell me the same words.”

Sweet Nightmare*

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Sweet Nightmare*

“Are you alright already? You might still be ill.”

“I’m fine. Thanks to you.”

“What’s that? Coffee?” he sat beside me.

“No. I don’t like coffee. It’s chamomile tea.” The sun started to rise. The sun’s up. Aqua, how are you?

“What’s that? For lunch?” I asked

“Yes.” I pulled up my long sleeves as Myst looked at me, shock visible at his face.

“Let me help.” I snatched the knife from Myst’s grasp and started chopping the vegetables, too quick to be followed.

“How do you know how to cook? For a vet like you, you’re impressive, but machines are the ones who cook right?”

“Due to my bills, I can’t afford a modern house. My house is more like this, -- except that I use the old way to heal – isolated. Yes, too outdated but warm to my eyes. This, for me, felt more like home, where I get to stretch my muscles and not just lie somewhere and let the machines do my work. This way, I won’t feel alone.”

“You’re not alone.”

“Yes, tell that to the girl who had parents no more in the early age of seven and needs to work even though she’s just twelve because her sister is at the hospital bed. Fighting for her life.” Myst slid the chopped ingredients at the sizzling pan. I accidentally cut myself while chopping carrots. Myst attentively pulls me to the sink and washes my injury and bandages it.

“With modern technology, I guess you could’ve just healed it the easier way. Like put a skin cream or scan it or something like that and let it heal quicker. Why have you bandaged it?”

“I don’t know. I have no idea. Maybe because I panicked? … For the first time, I panicked. And I don’t know… why.” I just looked at him, amazed. “Hey, don’t be like that. Say something.”

For several years, since my best friend and first love left me, I was never attracted to men. I waited. I waited for him to come back. And right at this moment, I feel like betraying him. Because again, I’m hurting myself for not being able to accept the fact that, since no one had been worried about me and taken care of me for years, I’m attracted with Myst. And if someone knew the symptoms, I’m in love. Which I hate to admit and afraid to admit.

Sweet Nightmare*

“Get ready Michael. We’re breaking someone’s moment of joy and smiles.” Murdock said. I smiled