Federie

I sat at the table declining breakfast from my big brother. "Okay" Jaye said before leaving me at the table. He was 15 years older than me. He still lived with us even though he had a wife and 2 kids. I heard my name as I started getting up from the table. "Coming" I shouted to Jme. As I got to his room he was looking for something. He looked up seeing me and said, "I just wanted to give you a heads up that mom and dad were fighting about you last night." "What did I do now? I did my chores and my homework, not that anyone asked me to or checked that I did it." Just then his phone rang and I heard shouting coming from it and didn't want to intrude so I started off to my room to finish getting ready for school. As I passed Jaye's room I heard moaning coming from his closed door. I chuckled to myself and headed on to my room. I put on jeans and a fitted shirt with chucks and a jean jacket. I was considered exceptionally talented educationally. I was only ten years old in the 10th grade. I was smaller than all the older kids. They were too consumed with their high school drama to even notice me as I went to and from classes. In elementary school I was approached by a talent committee and asked if I wanted to test out of elementary school. I gave my parents the information provided to me and they agreed to the test. I didn't think much of it until we got the results back and I was informed I could skip to high school as that's where I tested. My scores were off the chart literally. They had never had anyone test as high as I did. I told the administrators I wanted to complete all of high school. So at 9 years old I entered 9th grade after only completing 3 years of elementary school. After school I was thinking to myself all day about what I could have possibly done that mom was upset with me. Not that I needed to do much. I seemed to piss her off a lot as a young child and it continued to the present day. My thoughts were interrupted as Sel joined me on my walk home. She asked how my day was before asking me what was wrong? I tried to brush it off but she kept pushing. I eventually told her I was in trouble with mom and I didn't know why. She tried to reassure me that I was overreacting but I knew better. Sel was my brother Johnathan, who I called Jaye's, wife. She always came to walk home with me just in case the older kids tried to mess with me. She was always nice to me. At 13 she got pregnant with their first kid, my nephew JJ. A year later she had my niece Serenity. My parents told them to slow down as they were cutting off the exploration period of their life by having babies so quickly. They didn't listen as she was pregnant a third time the following year but out of nowhere she lost the baby. Jaye Junior was older than me by only 5 years. It came as a shock when my mom told them she was pregnant with me. After Sel lost the baby, she agreed to go on birth control and the next year she somehow got pregnant again and said she was just meant to have a bunch of babies. She lost that baby also. The following year she and my brother got married at 18. They have been married ever since. I tried to change the subject as I told her I heard her and Jaye this morning as I came back to my room to finish getting dressed. She asked me what I was talking about as she was at work this morning and only got home an hour before meeting me to walk home. I stopped talking. When we got home she was steaming I could tell. Jaye came down immediately and asked what was I talking about that he had gone out shortly after breakfast for a run. My eyes grew big! If he wasn't in his room who was? I told him what I heard and he didn't say anything instead He went to JJ and inquired. JJ is 15 now and his girlfriend had come over without me knowing I'm guessing. I overheard Jaye asking him if he had used a condom? And why was he in their room? I knew my brother was not happy about me hearing a lot of the things going on with his family as I was still young but I didn't mind having them all so close. JJ gave me a squint as he entered the kitchen to apologize to me, persuaded by his dad. I told him I was sorry for snitching on him, that I didn't know it was him and Jaleah. He shushed me and said it wasn't Jaleah but Aliyah. I didn't even want to know. I already knew Jaye was thinking hard as he now knew his son was sexually active. This wasn't the first time I was aware of my nephew being intimate. I had walked in on him and Jaleah plenty of times and I didn't say anything because I really didn't understand what was going on. JJ agreed he wouldn't do it again if I didn't tell his dad. Lately, he was keeping his word, until this morning. My attention was turned to mom as she yelled Amryl Shartee Federie walking through the door. I said yes ma'am but she continued yelling. I came home last night and there were dishes in my sink again. Why? I have told you numerous times to clean up the kitchen. I also got a call from your teacher that said that you were approaching a deadline on a written essay and had given him no answer as to what you were writing about. Your father and I agreed to let you go to high school but you aren't holding up your end of the bargain and I am starting to get pissed off. I should have left you in elementary school. I was going with your dad's opinion, but I have got to learn how to tell him NO! She finally looked up at me to see the tears in my eyes that I was fighting. I cleared my throat and informed her that I had turned in my written assignment today at school and promised that the kitchen was clean before I went to bed. She didn't say anything else as she could now hear dad coming in the front door. He took one look at me and told mom he would see her in the room in a minute, sending her away. She angrily walked off. He asked me if I were okay and just held me. David you're too f*cking wrapped around her finger! She needs this criticism to live in this world. I am her mother or did you forget. Don't tell me how to raise my daughter. Your daughter? Christie I am tired of telling you to let up on her. She's 10 for Christ's sake. She has way more on her shoulders than we did at her age. David shut up! Do you even hear yourself? Let up, I wasn't aware I was being too hard on her. But as usual you're taking her side. *thud Mom had hit dad while he was clenching his fist walking away. I heard my parents yelling for at least 2 hours after they left me in the kitchen. I went to my room crying myself to sleep. I was asleep for and hour and a half. I woke up and looked at my phone seeing messages from Sel, Lena, Nina, Rena, Ray and Apryl in our group message. _ JJ: I feel bad auntie getting in trouble for us, Serenity. Serenity: I heard her crying in her room JJ: It's our fault, we should go tell Nana Serenity: I agree Nana: Hello my beautiful grand babies how are you? JJ: Nana it was us who dirtied the kitchen last night. Everyone was asleep and we got hungry. We didn't realized the mess we made until we came down this morning. We tried to clean it up before everyone started getting up. Serenity: We're sorry you yelled at Auntie Am for no reason. She was crying in her room. I felt really bad JJ: Nana please apologize to her and tell her it was us. We'll come with you Nana: I will do no such thing! You're mere children JJ: Maybe ten years ago Nana! You said mean things to her. Serenity: Yeah Nana why are you always yelling at her. I don't think I ever heard you say anything nice to her. Why is that? Nana: hush up. Okay! Let's go get this over with. Approaching her room I felt my stomach in knots. I hadn't thought about how everyone saw me with her. I was very proud of her. I guess David was right, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I had punch him in the arm earlier and he went out back to cool off. I opened her door to see her asleep. She looked so sad. It was all my fault. I didn't mean to take it out on her. I wasn't expecting to get pregnant again. Especially not at 52!! Who does that? It was David's fault and his d**n d**k! He was perfect in every way. I didn't deserve him, but he stayed with me after all my bulls**t. ** David: I can't believe she hit me. We'd been married over 20 years and she never hit me before. I was so mad, I contemplated hitting her back. My sweet baby girl was the butt of all her fury. I tried to be understanding. Her dad told me that she accused her mom's brother, who's name is Derrick, of raping her when she was younger. I asked her one day and she about exploded, but she told me everything. She said when she was 11 he had gotten her pregnant and took her to have an abortion. I couldn't believe it. She had told her mom and she didn't believe her. So one day I asked Mr Willows why he didn't speak with her. He sadly informed me that her mother never told him. I could see why she never told her father, embarrassed. Still this wasn't right she was treating my Princess like dirt. I loved my daughter. I didn't care I had her at 61. Doctors told me I would never have kids. Chris had several miscarriages when we were early into our marriage. I believed them after how devastated it made her. She made me angry when it came to our daughter, but I loved her. She never judged me for not being able to give her any kids early on. I would f**k her anywhere, when we could get away from the boys long enough. Something came over me when I was close to her. It all started one day when I was coming out the shower heading out to hang out with my brother Liam. As I passed her, I felt something in my body want her really bad. Before I knew it I had her on the bed feeding her p***y to the bed. The way she moaned had me wanting to finish before I showed her what she did to me. She couldn't even catch her breath and I wasn't trying to let her. I f**ked her for over an hour switching positions. She let me try them all. I wanted to show her she didn't need other men. She had all she needed at home. She didn't go out to "work" another day after that. All I could see was my baby girl BIG GREY EYES welled with water. She tried to hold it in, even after she saw me. She couldn't. I was happy to have her. She gave me a breath of fresh air the day she was born. I remember when we created her. Her mom was asking for money, I kept telling her no. She was nagging me, so instead of getting mad I had decided this d**k would shut her up and it did. She didn't know what hit her. She had to beg me to stop. See, she was use to them 5 minute guys. I had learned to control c*mming too quickly. Once I mastered it, I'd hold out until by body grew exhausted. We had s*x several times a day when she was pregnant with Amryl. The boys would be watching tv and I'd pull her pants down and cup her mouth and give her this d**k while they watched tv. I'd bend her over the couch after I sent them to bed. I'd hold her in the bathroom, when I noticed she had went. When we went to bed I'd rock her world until she went to sleep. She couldn't get enough of me. Amryl changed all of that. I admit I didn't want to as much. Chris suffered PTSD after Amryl was born. I was more hands on until she eventually came out of it. Amryl was around 2. By that time the damage was done. I wished she had just told me she wanted me to f**k her like I did when she was pregnant. I would've. I tried to work during school hours so I could be home with Amryl. It didn't always work. I thought she was finally coming around to her until I overheard the boys one night talking about how they didn't think it was right the way their mom treated her. I questioned Chris and she promised to change. Princess cried more when I wasn't at home. She spent years being verbally abused by her mother. I felt helpless! I loved them both! I should've done more, something to help my baby girl! When she got into the gifted program, I was so excited that she was able to let it all go and still managed to excel academically. My baby girl went to high school at 9 years old. I told Mr Juelz he better make sure she was safe or I'd kill him! I had cooled off enough to go back inside. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I ever hit Chirs back. I feel horrible just thinking about it. I loved her and the boys, but I had to admit, I loved my daughter more than all of them. I peaked my head in to check on Princess she was asleep. She cried herself to sleep I could tell. I left her alone, but I wanted to hold her. This was killing me I heard Chris with the grands so I went back to our room and tidied up. She came in after about 2 hours and apologized. She told me it was Jaye's kids who messed up the kitchen. I was angry again now. She tried to touch me intimately and I turned over on my side and ignored her. She reached over me and grabbed my face, David Dewayne Federie. I know she knew I liked it when she called my whole name. Usually it would make me smile, I was angry still. It did calm me a little. I rolled over and asked her what did she want? She said I miss us and I'm sorry for yelling at Amryl. I lost my temper and I will try to go see a therapist soon. I was happy she finally agreed to this. I kissed her and she moved closer. I told her not tonight as I was still thinking about how my baby girl felt on the inside. I tried my best to be a good father to them all, but to my daughter, an even better example of what a man should look like who wanted to love her FOREVER. Before I got in bed I had phoned her friends' dads to see if her friends come come over and cheer her up. I heard them giggling when Chris came to bed.