Desperate Dheah

My name is Dheah. Daughter of Luna Elaine Davis of Mystic Dawn. The alpha of Mystic Dawn is Loren Davis but he is not my father. I am not allowed to carry the family name as they refuse to acknowledge my existence. Therefore, I am just Dheah.. and nothing more. The name Dheah was given by one of my caretakers when I was 4 years old. It was out of the blue after I kept misunderstanding her when she calls her own baby...and yet I am the one that answered her calls. So she named me Dheah and only respond to her when she called my name. I am eighteen this year.. the age that I've been waiting for as long as I can remember. The age when I could possibly escape from this pack, from this land.. or from this world.. if I could.. No, I will not end my life with my own hands. Let somebody else do it for me. I will gladly be thankful for that. Anyway.. as every other she-wolf exist in this world, I definitely have a father and a mother. I learned that I am a result by mistake. Alpha Loren and my mother are fated mates, but before they are mated, they both have their own active s****l life. Alpha Loren, a womanizer as people called him, refused to accept my mother, who was also a so-called easy girl who slept with any guy she was interested in. Even after they mated, they both didn't stop their habit and when my mother was pregnant with me, he refused to accept it and my mother didn't even know who exactly the cause of her pregnancy. She tried to kill me a few times during her pregnancy, but her wolf, Celeste, managed to stop her stupid human. Even after birth, I was thrown from one omega to the other because my mother refused to take care of me. I know I am not Alpha Loren's daughter because he can't smell his blood on me after birth and refuses to acknowledge me or let me use his name. As for my mother, Luna Elaine, still fooling around with un-mated mens and I guess she totally forgot about me. To make matter worse, the whole pack agrees that I am a bastard and shouldn't be treated like a human or wolf. I am the lowest from the lowest omega in the pack. Even an omega had a place to call home. Ever since I learned to walk and talk, I am not allowed to be anywhere near the alpha. But I must be around the pack's house to do chores and work for the pack. My place is everywhere within the pack's land. I could sleep in the store room, in the barn or below a tree. They allow me to eat leftovers, if there are any leftovers, or just pick up any food I find secretly... or you could say... steal. When I reached 12 years old, I started to look for a safer settlement after I get s****l harassment from the boys when they found me sleeping openly under a tree. I found a small cave near the border and managed to cover the cave entrance with bushes and torn branches. Until now, that was my hiding place that I called home. No one asks me where I sleep or doesn't bother to ask where I go. They just mind linking me whenever they need me and I will be there. Sometimes, there are perverts trying to follow me, but I manage to lose them. Lucky for me, I don't have smells. Every wolf in the pack has a unique smell. Strangely for me, I don't have any. My mother probably slept with a human or some other creature that causes me an incomplete wolf that doesn't have any smell. I guess I am lucky in that sense. Every child of age goes to school, learns to read and write, but I don't have the privilege to do that. Secretly, I learned from listening and watching. One of the kids kindly gave me some books with pictures and I managed to learn from them. At least, I can write my own name and read signboards or news articles on the pack's notice board. Clothes? hmm.. I don't walk around naked. I collect unused clothes and manage to find decent clothes to wear as I grow. As for friends, I don't have anyone to call a friend. There are a few pack members that are kind enough to talk and help me, but that is all. They are afraid of the alpha. However, I had a lot of bullies though. Almost all pack members would bully me whenever they had a chance. The cruelest bully among them is Jessy, daughter of the pack's Beta, Beta Howard. Alpha Loren had 3 mistresses and had 1 son with each of his mistresses. One of them is Levi. Levi is probably the favorite and had the highest chances of being the next alpha. His other two half brothers are Ivan and Elliot. They also enjoy bullying me and watching me in pain and miserable. I don't understand, I didn't do anything to them and yet, they never leave me alone. They probably hate me just like their father hates me. Thanks to my mother, Luna Elaine, who doesn't care for me, and she probably didn't know the girl that the pack loves to bully was her very own child. She might not even know her child's name until now. Well, since she didn't care. I don't care either. At first, I didn't even believe she was my mother. How could a mother abandon her child? But after seeing her in person at one of the pack event, I realized we had a lot in common. I inherit her eyes and hair color, green eyes and black hair. No girls or women in the pack had green eyes and black hair except Luna Elaine. She is from the East Wolf tribe and only the she-wolf from the east has black hair. I tried to meet her face to face, but she ignored me. She didn't even look at me and asked her guards to chase me out. I tried a couple of times and failed, so I guess she really didn't want to see me. I stop trying after one of her guards tries to r**e me. He warned me he wouldn't stop himself again if he saw me because I reminded him of his Luna, my mother. Turns out, he also slept with my mother once and was hoping I was his daughter. But since I have no smell, he is frustrated and the idea of being another man's child makes him hate me as much as alpha Loren. Great.. just great. Each man that my mother sleeps with, hopes that I am theirs, and yet when I am not, they despise me. Wondering how I look? I think I am beautiful just like my mother. I had big eyes, a small nose and natural full red lips. My skin is slightly tanned compared to my mother's, but I am more skinny and under nourished due to the lack of sleep and food. Some guy did praise my looks while attempt to sexually harass me, so I make myself dirty and hide my face with traces of mud and dirt most of the time. Thanks to the dirty chores and work that I did, I smell awful and disgusting. I had a good disguise that saves me from all the harassment. Today is my birthday. I’m not sure if every she-wolf feels different each time they reach a new age. As for me, every year, I feel something different changing within me. That’s when I realised I changed to a specific date every year, which is 20th February. I asked one of the omegas, and she told me that I would have my wolf on my eighteen birthday and on every birthday, I would feel something changing in me. So every 20th February, I will celebrate my birthday myself, alone, hoping the day my wolf will come to me and my wish is always the same. I desperately wish I'd have someone who can protect me, love me, cherish me, take care of me and stay with me forever. I blew the candle that I’ve been keeping for today. No cake, just a candle. I don't even know if I could get a food today though. But I am looking forward to tonight. Something is changing again within me and I hope I get my wolf. “Dheah!!! Where the hell are you!!” It is the mindlink from Lois, head omega that never forget about me. She is responsible for ensuring my life is miserable every day. At one point, I was happy. I am happy because there is someone that will probably miss me when I'm gone. The only one person who is probably aware of my existence. “I’m almost there miss Lois..”.