When In Love

I think i heard him well, it didn’t seem like a prank to me, there where no hidden cameras or friends jumping out and laughing, it was actually real. I turned to David again and smiled. A look of joy on his face said it all. It was what we always wanted and now it finally happens, i'm pregnant. “I will be a mother.” I was prepared to hear bad news. I never expected to be pregnant already. The doctor told us my condition was a risky one; I will be followed closely. By the time she’s done explaining everything, David is looks worried but deep down he’s also happy. We got home and settled on the couch, I turned to him. “Talk to me, please!” His silence is out of character. “I’m happy,” he says, I sense something else. “But?” he seems deep in thought. “I am happy, truly. I’m also worried because I’m filming in a week. I can’t travel right now, leaving you here alone makes me sad. Will you be okay?” I see how torn he is. The same thoughts crossed my mind, but I would never want to risk his career, If I’m honest with myself, I do wish he could stay. But I don’t want him to feel guilty about doing his job. “Now you’re the one who’s quiet, babe,” he pulls me closer. “Sorry, timing isn’t great, of course. But I have family and friends here that can take care of you. Will you be okay being away?” I ask him. “Well, as you said, the timing isn’t great but, I’m sure we can manage.” He smiles. I rest my head on his chest as he grabs his phone to answer a call. The moment i waited for my whole life was here. When I thought I might not be able to conceive, I was sad, feeling abnormal. Now that I’m actually pregnant, I’m nervous. We travel a lot because of his schedule but also because we still kept both of our apartments. We figured it was time to find a big house for a family. “Should we start looking for a home now? Where?” Thinking about being a mother worries me. “What if I’m not good at it?” My childhood was difficult because of my relationship with my mom. I don’t want to be the kind of mom that she was. I’ll never understand why she didn’t love me. No therapist could stop the pain, David was the only thing that reminded me of love I still can’t comprehend it. Now that he’s gone, I can’t even try to confront her about it. For a split second, I worry about being like her unable to love my child. The thought makes me emotional. Unconsciously, my arms wrap tighter around David’s waist. The one arm that isn’t holding his phone hugs me back giving me a worried look. “Are you okay?” he asks as he ends the call. “Just thinking about my mother…” I trail off. “I won’t be like her, Our daughter will have a loving father!” “David! I do not doubt that you will be! I just don’t understand how… Besides, I told you before, its going to be a boy” “Either way, we will do a good job raising our child.” I silently pray The day is still early, meaning we both have things to do. My work distracts me from the dark thoughts that were starting to spoil my mood. By the end of my task, I’m feeling relaxed and excited again. I reach for my phone to video chat Sandra and Mandy. They knew I had an appointment today. “Hey, girls!” I greet them. “Hey!” they say in sync. “How are you guys today?” “Kim! Come on, no small talk! Just give us the results!” Mandy whines. “Sorry! Alright, so the doctor was surprised by the results, but in the end, I think it’s good news.” I keep the suspense for a minute longer. I can see them waiting for me to keep going. “David and I will have a baby!” I squeal. “Oh, my God! A mini Kim!” Sandra says, excitedly. “No! Mini David! Why do you and David think I’ll have a girl?” “It doesn’t matter if it’s mini Kim or David, you’re having a baby. I’m so happy for you guys!” Mandy says. I give them all the details on the risks and me having to stay here while David goes to shoot his movie. They quickly offer their help, Mandy has vacation time available. She’ll fly in next week once he’s gone so she can stay with me. Sandra doesn’t live too far, meaning she’ll be around as well. Although I still have a lot of emotions going through my mind, I feel better. David is happy with the news; so are my friends. We called a few family members and some of his friends to announce the news. It definitely took people by surprise, but the reactions have been positive. David’s POV A week later Getting to my gate to board that plane was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. Kim tried to act strong but I could tell she was about to cry. I feel tears forming in my eyes thinking about what she would go through without me. “I will be a father.” Every time I’ve looked at her since then, I’ve pictured her with a big belly. A smile appears on my lips thinking about it. I went to one of her sessions last week to make sure things stay strong between us. I didn’t want her to think she had to do all the work. We’re a couple and we’ll navigate all of it as a team. I secretly wanted to talk about it too, I’ve always wanted children, I just never expected to have one right now. Not that I doubt my feelings for Kim or my ability to be a dad. I’ve been busy with work, traveling a lot. I figured we would find a house and start thinking about raising children in a year or two. I need to think about where I’m going now knowing sacrifices will be needed if I want this to work. I already feel guilty leaving Kim for a few weeks. Not only am I going to miss her but I’ll miss her next doctor’s appointment. I pull up my phone to scroll through her pictures. She’s so beautiful! Tears are burning my eyes again, blurring my vision. Closing them I try to focus on the journey. The drive from the airport to my hotel was boring. As soon as I walked into my room, I felt lonely again. It’s not my first time away but this time its different, its not just her but she and David junior. The sadness I usually feel being away from my love seems ten times worse right now. I’m hoping she understands how torn I am having to be here without her. I wish I could hop on a plane home right away. Opening the mini-fridge, I grab a beer. I went through my lines a few times, talking to the director and other cast members, I called Kim. “Hey, babe,” I say in a half-whisper. “Hey! Are you okay? You sound sad.” “I miss you!” I take another sip of my beer. “I miss you more! Are you drunk?” she asks me. “I’m on my third one, I wouldn’t say I’m drunk. I just needed a distraction.” “Oh, okay.” She sounds worried. “I’m sorry, baby. It’s been hard not having you with me.” “I wish I was with you!” We ended up talking about my new project, my new co-stars. She told me about her day, how nice it is to spend time with her friends. It was getting late, she started yawning saying she was tired. I was hoping she would stay on the phone longer. I don’t know why I’m so needy right now but I just wanted to have her with me a little longer. I guess I should be reasonable and go to bed. We have rehearsals starting at 7 AM tomorrow. Kim doesn’t know that I stole her perfume so I could hold onto it. I sprayed it on the pillow and gripped it tightly, finally falling asleep. A fell into a dream, the first thing i see is Kim. The dream turns to a nightmare when I keep having to do reshoots, being away from her for months. She keeps begging me to come home, crying on the phone. She ends up delivering a beautiful baby girl, all alone. I wake up covered in sweats. Reaching for her shirt, I pull it to me again. 6 AM came way too soon. Kim's POV I woke up to a text from David saying he misses me and is sorry he can’t be with me right now. I wish he didn’t worry about it so much, I do miss him a lot but I understand the situation. Hopefully, my reply made him feel better, I sent a long text reminding him that I love him and telling him how grateful I am to have him in my life. After a quick shower, me and Mandy went shopping, Mandy seemed really excited.