The Things I Shouldn’t Remember
1160 Words
“Again.”
This time—
The word didn’t irritate me.
Didn’t frustrate me.
It grounded me.
I stood in the center of the training room, feet planted, shoulders relaxed, breath steady.
Kael was to my left.
The wolf—to my right.
Neither speaking now.
Both watching.
Closely.
Always watching.
I ignored them.
Or tried to.
Because the moment I let my focus slip—
Everything unraveled.
“Don’t hold it,” Kael said quietly.
“Don’t hesitate,” the wolf added.
I exhaled slowly.
Right.
No pressure.
I closed my eyes.
Let the world fade.
Let the silence settle.
And then—
I reached.
Not with my hands.
Not physically.
Something deeper.
The warmth answered instantly.
Stronger than before.
Like it had been waiting.
Like it was learning me as much as I was learning it.
My fingers tingled.
Energy slid through me—smooth, alive, no longer foreign.
Familiar.
Too familiar.
“Good,” Kael murmured.
I didn’t respond.
Didn’t break focus.
I let it build.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Not pushing too far this time.
Not losing control.
The air shifted.
A ripple formed in front of me.
Steady.
Balanced.
I guided it.
Just a little.
It moved.
Obeyed.
My breath caught.
“I’ve got it,” I whispered.
“Keep it,” the wolf said.
“Don’t let it spike,” Kael added.
Right.
Stay level.
Stay steady.
I held it there.
The energy hummed softly beneath my skin.
And then—
Something changed.
Not outside.
Inside.
The warmth deepened.
Shifted.
Not just power anymore.
Something else.
Something older.
My breath slowed.
“What is that…?” I murmured.
The energy pulsed.
Stronger.
Different.
And suddenly—
I wasn’t in the room anymore.
—
Water.
Endless.
Dark.
Cold.
Stretching beyond anything I could see.
My body moved—
But not like before.
Not human.
Something lighter.
Faster.
I looked down—
My hands weren’t mine.
They shimmered.
Translucent.
Glowing faintly beneath the surface.
A voice echoed.
Not the same as before.
Deeper.
Ancient.
“You remember.”
My chest tightened.
“I don’t—”
But I did.
Not clearly.
Not fully.
But enough.
The ocean.
The pull.
The silence beneath the surface.
It felt… right.
Like I had been there before.
Like I belonged there.
A flash—
Light.
Blinding.
A crown.
Not gold.
Not metal.
Something made of pure energy.
Hovering.
Waiting.
For me.
—
My eyes snapped open.
I staggered back, the energy collapsing instantly as my control shattered.
“What was that?” I gasped.
Both of them were in front of me in seconds.
“What happened?” Kael demanded.
“You lost focus,” the wolf added, scanning me.
“No,” I shook my head. “That wasn’t—”
My breath came faster.
“I saw something.”
Silence.
Sharp.
Immediate.
“What did you see?” Kael asked.
I hesitated.
Because saying it out loud—
Made it real.
“Water,” I said slowly. “Endless… dark… like an ocean.”
The wolf stilled.
Kael’s expression tightened.
“And?” he pressed.
My chest rose and fell unevenly.
“I wasn’t… me.”
Neither spoke.
Encouraging.
Waiting.
“I wasn’t human,” I added quietly.
The words hung in the air.
Heavy.
Unavoidable.
“What else?” the wolf asked.
I swallowed.
“There was a voice.”
Kael’s jaw tightened.
“What did it say?”
I hesitated again.
Then—
“‘You remember.’”
Silence hit harder this time.
Because this—
This meant something.
Something they understood.
Something I didn’t.
“You’re accessing memory,” Kael said finally.
“That wasn’t my memory,” I shot back.
“It is.”
“No,” I shook my head. “That didn’t feel like me.”
“It is you,” the wolf said quietly.
My stomach twisted.
“That’s not possible.”
“Neither are you,” he replied.
That shut me up.
Because—
Yeah.
At this point—
That wasn’t exactly a strong argument.
“There was more,” I admitted.
Their attention sharpened instantly.
“What?” Kael asked.
My breath slowed.
“There was… a crown.”
The words felt strange.
Wrong.
Too big.
“What kind of crown?” the wolf asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, frustration creeping in. “It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t metal. It was like—”
“Energy,” Kael finished.
I looked at him.
“…yes.”
Silence.
Again.
But this time—
Different.
Not just tension.
Recognition.
“That’s not just memory,” the wolf said.
My chest tightened.
“Then what is it?”
Kael didn’t answer immediately.
Which meant—
Whatever it was—
It wasn’t simple.
“It’s awakening,” he said finally.
I let out a breath.
“I thought we already established that.”
“No,” he said. “This is different.”
“How?”
A pause.
Then—
“You’re not just accessing power.”
My pulse spiked.
“Then what?”
He looked at me.
Really looked.
Like he was seeing something new.
Something he hadn’t seen before.
“You’re accessing identity.”
The words settled heavily in my chest.
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“You’re starting to remember what you were before this life.”
My breath caught.
“That’s not possible.”
“Isn’t it?”
I didn’t answer.
Because—
I didn’t know anymore.
“What if I don’t want to remember?” I asked quietly.
The wolf’s gaze softened slightly.
“You don’t get that choice.”
Of course I didn’t.
“That voice…” I murmured. “It sounded like it knew me.”
“It probably did,” Kael said.
A chill ran down my spine.
“And the ocean?”
Silence.
Then—
The wolf spoke.
“Not all kingdoms live on land.”
My heart skipped.
“What does that mean?”
“It means,” he said slowly, “you might not just belong to one realm.”
My chest tightened.
“Or two.”
Kael didn’t deny it.
Didn’t interrupt.
Which meant—
He agreed.
The truth settled in.
Cold.
Heavy.
I wasn’t just connected to them.
To vampires.
To wolves.
To witches.
There was something else.
Something deeper.
Something older.
Something that had just started to wake up inside me.
I looked down at my hands.
At the faint glow beneath my skin.
At the power that no longer felt foreign.
And for the first time—
I didn’t just feel overwhelmed.
I felt… divided.
Like I was more than one thing.
More than I should be.
And somehow—
Not enough of anything at all.
My chest tightened.
“Who was I?” I whispered.
Neither answered.
Because the truth was—
They didn’t know.
Not fully.
Not yet.
And that—
That might have been the most dangerous part of all.
- Writer
