Prologue
Anya POV:
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*present*
"No!!! NO!!! Noooo!"
"Please don't hurt me!"
These were the last two sentences Anya remembers saying before waking up to yet another nightmare.
She can never remember the nightmare itself, only that something really scary is coming for her, and then the blackness engulfs her and she wakes up.
Anya looks at her phone to check for the time.
"4.45am, no point trying to get any sleep now, as if that would happen anyway. Fifth night in a week" she thinks while getting herself of the bed and going downstairs towards the kitchen.
She tries to be as silent as possible so she won't wake her grandparents who are sleeping on the room down the hall. Somehow her grandmother always wakes with her and that means another inquisition about her dreams looking for answers that she doesn't know.
Anya knows that her grandmother is only trying to help, afterall it has been 15 years of this, and despite all the psychologists and treatments she tried the only improvement is that she isn't screaming her heart out anymore during her sleep as she learnt to accept the nightmares.
It doesn't mean they aren't as scary as they were when she was 7, and the sense of dread and loss is the exact same, but nothing changes and nothing will change from what she can understand.
She was told is PTSD caused by the car accident she was apparently involved in. The one that took away all her memories and her parents from her.
No matter how hard she tried and still tries she can't remember anything from when she was a small girl. Her oldest memory is of her standing by the side of Officer Clarke in front of her grandparents door. She remembers being afraid. The only two certainties she had were that her name was Anya and she was born on the 21st of December. Everything else was a black question mark that would give her an headache if she tried to push it in search of an answer.
And again she found herself going back to that first memory and cursing to herself wondering why can't she just be normal.
While lost in her thoughts she had tiptoed her way to the kitchen. Without turning any lights ON she grabbed a mug from the cupboard and the milk from the fridge, grabbed some cookies from the always full cookie jar and went to the table seat she had near the window that overlooked the backyard. The property
limit ended by the massive lake that was the pride and joy of the town especially during the hot summer months.
On clear nights like today she could see the moon reflected in the water and for some reason that image would be the only thing that could settle her never stopping mind and give her some semblance of peace. Add to that the milk with cookies that her grandmother would bring her since day one after she moved in to help her calm down after the nightmares that in the beginning were every night and more than once sometimes.
And she had the perfect combination to give her a break from her tormented night routine.
She will miss this when she goes to college and she is afraid of how it will be. But this is one of her few dreams. To get her certifications and become a paediatric doctor and help kids like she was helped when she needed the most.
She worked hard to get the scholarship and enough money to pay for the tuition and she wanted to believe that she was finally somewhat ready for the biggest step of her past 15 years and leave her security blanket, the house and people that she knew she could trust.
She wasn't moving to the other side of the country, but was still a 4h drive each way and so she was going to be living in a shared apartment with her 2 best friends who were attending the same campus they had experienced many of her troubled nights while on sleepovers during the years growing up together. So at least that was something she didn't have to worry, at least not in the same way as if it was a complete stranger - that's why she refused staying in a dorm. She preferred postpone her enrollment and work full-time for 2h to guarantee she had enough money to pay for all expenses and costs, than risking exposing her condition to some stranger.
In the meantime the twins who were 2 years younger than her, but had been her best friends since year 1 on Horizon Valley (the fact they they were also the only 2 girls around her age in the elderly estate might have helped)graduated and declared they'd be going to the same college has her, for different courses but they could all share a house. So that was the decision maker for her to take the courage for this next step.
She didn't notice she had finished her milk and was picking on the cookie crumbs, until her grandmother placed another mug and another plate in front of her.
She jumped on her seat with the movement as she had been completely obviously to it, as her eyes had been focused on the moon's reflection and her mind on her thoughts.
Her grandmother gave her a tight hug to soothe her and sat opposite to her with her own mug of coffee and looking expectantly at her for any words she was willing to share.
